What is the most powerful tool you can learn from the RACHEAL Method that will deescalate any situation, tantrum, meltdown, toddler crazy?
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1. EMPATHIZE
Empathy is a beautiful skill to have as a little one and the only way to truly learn empathy is to role model it. Be kind, be compassionate, be present. You can hold them if they would like to be held but sometimes, it's just making space for them to have feelings and to validate it by responding with empathy.
"Oh Ella Grace, I am so so sorry you are so sad"
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2. ECHO
Echoing/acknowledging so they know that they are heard and understood. Literally, it's just stating the problem or repeating whatever it is that they tell you the problem is without any judgement, excuses, buts, or even, logic. You aren't saying it's right, you're simply just deescalating and saying, I hear you, I see you, I understand. This step is extremely important for your little one (and adults too!!) in order to be able to respond and come to a resolution.
"You really really wanted the red cup, you didn't like it when I told you no, you don't want me to leave, I hurt your feelings when I took the blocks away."
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3. EMPOWER
All little ones really want in life is to just feel like they are in charge or have a lid on things. Wade through the chaos and empower them instead by helping them find a solution. In a "technical world" this is called building a growth mindset - developing their confidence, resiliency, adaptability and teaching them crucial problem solving skills.
More amazingly, if you do this consistently, you will witness the little ones being able to figure it all out on their own without even needing your help! From conflict resolution to learning how to accomplish a task, it's quite amazing and so very beautiful to watch.
"What can we do about this? How can we make it better? Do you have a solution?"
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Racheal Kwacz is a Child and Family Development Specialist, mama tribe advocate and writer. As creator of the ‘RACHEAL Method’, she combines her 20+ years experience working with children in the USA and in Asia with the foundations of ‘Respectful Parenting’, leading parents and teachers around the world in raising kind, confident, compassionate, resilient little ones.
To learn more, connect with her on her website or follow her on social media @rachealkwacz!
