Baca Ini Jika Tak Pandai Bahasa Inggeris
Kepada korang yang dah pandai bahasa Inggeris boleh abaikan surat ini. Biarkan abang ajar kepada korang korang yang lain.
Semua sedia maklum bahasa Inggeris itu penting kerana banyak sekali sumber ilmu yang dapat dirujuk dalam bahasa ini.
Wikipedia yang menjadi rujukan terbesar pun paling banyak artikel ditulis dalam bahasa Inggeris. Begitu juga kalau korang berniat untuk menyelamatkan dunia, maka ‘kerja’ itu akan jadi lebih mudah bila korang pandai English. InshaAllah berjaya terutamanya jika korang expert like a crazy pig (pandai gila babi).
Nota: Gila babi bukan digunakan untuk menghina tapi untuk menujukkan rasa kagum yang teramat iaitu kagum gila babi. Harap maklum.
Berbalik pada topik utama. Dipendekkan cerita, dulu abang mayat adalah seorang Melayu yang agak malas untuk belajar bahasa Inggeris. Mungkin pada zaman itu, PM belum mewajibkan lagi pelajaran matematik dan sains dalam bahasa Inggeris. Lagipun pada masa itu belum ada internet, maka abang membuat endah tak endah dengan pentingnya BI (alasan semuanya itu).
Sehinggalah pada suatu hari, abang mayat melihat sekumpulan budak-budak Punk ketawa selepas membaca tulisan di dinding tandas terutama bila ada F word. Hal ini membuatkan abang iri hati dengan kelebihan ilmu mereka dan ditambah pula dengan ramainya pendosa dari luar negara yang datang ke Malaysia, maka abang memulakan langkah to improve my English sebagai salah satu kaedah yang lebih cepat dalam usaha menyelamatkan dunia. InshaAllah!
Bak kata pepatah:
“Everyone should be able to do one card trick, tell two jokes and recite three poems, in case they are ever trapped in an elevator.” (Lemony Snicket)
Namun, oleh kerana abang dah lama habis sekolah dan datang dari keluarga yang kurang berkemampuan, maka abang belajar bahasa Inggeris dengan cara sendiri.
Sekarang, berkat usaha gigih, karisma, dedikasi dan integriti... err… kejap! Cerita ini bukanlah nak bercerita tentang abang yang pandai English gila babi, tapi cerita tentang bagaimana kita boleh cepat pandai dalam bahasa itu. Bila cepat tiada lagi istilah ‘hot-hot chicken shit’.
Kalau mahu belajar apa-apa bahasa, perkara pertama adalah korang kena ada kamus sendiri. Korang kena beli kamus dan bawa ke mana sahaja. Kalau boleh hafal satu kamus. Jika dulu nabi digelar ‘al-Quran bergerak’, sekarang giliran korang pula menjadi ‘kamus bergerak’. Jika ada kawan bertanya, what is inception? Terus dapat jawab, the Nolam film in the beginning blah blah...nampak tak?
Abang tahu, korang lemah BI bukan sebab bodoh tetapi korang tak tahu makna dan malas menghafal kerana dalam otak sudah ditanam ‘tak tahu English pun boleh hidup juga’ atau ‘malaikat dalam kubur tak tanya dalam bahasa Inggeris’. Bukankah dalam syurga lebih afdal cakap Arab? Arghh… malas nak cerita bab ni. Apa kata korang buang persepsi itu. Jangan jadikan itu alasan dan halangan.
Abang juga hairan kenapa pelajar dalam kelas English jarang bawa kamus. Masalah utama korang adalah tak tahu makna. Jadi, kalau tak tahu kenalah beli kamus dan hafal. Itu kunci yang pertama!
“Don't be so humble, you are not that great.” (Golda Meir)
Dah ada kamus? Sekarang pergi beli buku nota untuk mencatat perkataan yang tak faham sewaktu membaca dan sebelum tidur hafal balik perkataan baru tadi.
Jadi korang akan ada dua buku, satu adalah kamus dan satu lagi buku nota yang akan menjadi kamus peribadi kerana korang akan mencatat perkataan baru dan tak tahu makna sahaja. Lama kelamaan, buku nota itu akan menjadi tebal dan korang dah tak perlu merujuk kamus lagi.
Untuk permulaan, Pilih bahn bacaan yang mudah dahulu. Kalau boleh ambil bahan bacaan budak tadika, baca dan faham makna keseluruhan cerita. Selepas itu, baca buku budak sekolah rendah pula, seterusnya buku sekolah menengah, lirik lagu, dialog film, dan akhirnya bacalah novel Inggeris sebelum membaca tafsir al-Quran dalam bahasa Inggeris.
Abang masih ingat apabila baru berkecimpung dalam dunia internet, rasa teruja sungguh. Begitu banyak sumber ilmu yang boleh kita terokai. Buka sahaja Wikipedia bermacam-macam cerita yang boleh dibaca. Cukuplah ada wiki.. Ilmu tak bertepi.. perghhh!
Waktu tu pun baru tahu apa itu Rotten Tomatoes, siapa Maddox, imdb info dan banyak lagi istilah baru. Tetapi sebelum itu kenalah pandai English dulu!
Bila dah pandai, boleh mula berniat untuk berdakwah ke peringkat antarabangsa. Bukan setakat dari Perlis sampai ke Sabah saja perjuangan kita. Think BIG dan langkah kita akan besar tapi jika Think SMALL maka langkah pun akan small.
Contoh: Jika korang fikir habis belajar nanti cukuplah dapat bekerja makan gaji di company yang stabil, maka perjalanan hidup akan terhad kepada kerja lapan jam sehari, lima hari seminggu dan menunggu dinaikkan pangkat. Tetapi jika korang fikir mahu berbisnes, mencipta produk, menggaji pekerja, kayakan diri sendiri dan membuat sesuatu yang bermakna, maka perjalanan hidup korang akan luas tiada penghujungnya. Tapi sebelum nak mendapatkan semua ini, kenalah pandai bahasa penjajah!
“To stay around (if you dot want to go far), learn bahasa tempatan. To go futher, learn bahasa penjajah!” (Hamka Kereta Mayat)
Jadi Abang memang rajin baca Wikipedia. Sambil baca sambil buka kamus, (sekarang dah ada Google Translate lagi senang). Selepas itu abang beli akhbar The Star, komik English (sekarang banyak yang online) dan juga kitab karangan Maulana Yusof Mutakhab, hadis versi English. Baca, baca dan baca…
Dari dulu abang suka tengok movie. Selesai tengok movie, abang akan baca sinopsis atau plot cerita dalam bahasa Inggeris untuk tahu penggunaan ayat. Mana yang tak faham abang akan catat dan hafal pada waktu makan. Begitu juga dengan komik Dragonball dan GTO, walaupun dah khatam dalam bahasa Melayu, abang baca pula versi bahasa Inggeris di internet.
Bila berjalan abang akan bawa kamus, (sekarang cuma perlu download aplikasi ke dalam telefon) jika nampak tulisan yang diconteng di dinding tandas awam dalam bahasa Inggeris, abang akan buka kamus dan ketawa dalam slang English jika lawak itu bermutu tinggi.
Contoh lawak di dinding tandas;
‘A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.’ (Lana Turner)
Untuk lebih cepat pandai, abang pinjam dua buku dari perpustakaan awam iaitu versi Melayu dan Inggeris. Kedua-dua buku itu abang akan baca dan bandingkan. Antara buku yang abang buat begitu adalah How To Win Friends & Influence People tulisan Dale Carnegie, Rich Dad Poor Dad dan banyak buku popular lain.
Untuk dapat saham di dunia dan akhirat pula, abang baca buku islamik yang ada dua versi BM dan BI seperti buku tafsir dan hadis. Kedua-dua buku itu abang baca dan bandingkan. Ada juga waktunya isteri abang akan membaca taklim dalam BM dan ayah semak dalam BI.
Contoh hadis bahasa Inggeris yang dipetik dari A Selection of Hadith;
Nabi said: He is wise and shrew who takes account of himself and prepares for what is after death. And he is weak and incapable who follows his desires and yet pins high hopes on Allah’s Mercy. (Tirmidhi)
Kadang kadang abang kaji falsafah Inggeris:
“Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.” (Bill Gates)
Ada masanya apabila menonton filem, abang akan fokus pada subtitiles dan gunakan dalam kehidupan seharian. Contoh petikan dialog daripada filem Bujang Lapuk (The Three Bachelor Warriors).
Aziz : Probably, that house that you mentioned, has anyone occupied it yet?
Sudin : Which house ?
Aziz : That house, the one that you kept talking about.
Sudin : Oh, that house. It's still vacant ... if we apply for it, we'll get it.
Aziz : How many rooms, Din ?
Sudin : I saw three rooms.
Aziz : That's good. Each of us can have a room to himself. Are they large ?
Sudin : Not very. But it's long, 7 feet ... about 3 feet long and 7 feet deep.
Aziz : Quite big, huh, there's even depth..that's A GRAVE !
Woha!
Bila dah naik sheikh, ada juga abang cuba menyanyi lagu Melayu dalam Bahasa English seperti lagu;
Sekadar Di Pinggiran - Just at the Edge
Menaruh Harapan - Pinning on Hope
Kau Kunci Cintaku Di Dalam Hatimu - You are the Key to My Love in Your Heart
Takdir Dan Waktu - Fate and Time
Pada Syurga Di Wajahmu - Your Heavenly Face
Teratai Layu Di Tasik Madu - Dying Lotus in the Honey Lake
Tanya Sama Itu Hud Hud - Ask the Woodpecker
Cinta Beralih Arah - Love Turns Away
Jerat Percintaan - Love Trap
Balqis - Queen of Sheba
Rela Ku Pujuk - I'm Willing to Entice
Gemilang - Glory
Terlalu Istimewa - Too Special
Awan Nano - Nano Cloud
Terukir Di Bintang - Etched In the Stars
Bahagiamu Deritaku - Your Happiness is My Pain
Kalau masih tak faham lagi, di sini abang copy paste satu lagu yang paling abang suka nyanyi dulu.
Aci-Aci, open the door,
Nana come back at one a.m,
Don't be afraid of the owl,
Nana bring Semambu of cane.
Nana Nana, come home rush,
Aci afraid to be all alone,
There's a ghost behind the house,
Shifty eyes and a striped nose long.
Aci aci, don't be afraid,
Nana have Oh! a stunt machete,
Ghost and demons will be afraid,
See the machete, surely they desperated!
If Nana, just say so,
Then my heart is calm so-so,
If come again, ghost and demons,
Aci will beat them with a brooms!
(Lirik tibai, mintak tolong cikgu Inggeris betulkan)
Lagu lain:. suci dalam.debu.
Alkisahnya Lagu suci dalam debu popular waktu abang tingkatan satu.
Naik bas pergi sekolah driver putar lagu ni.
Abang waktu tu ada minat sorang awek pandai English bernama Adibah nor(typo nama sebenar), jadi abang translate lagu Iklim versi English dan bagi kat dia.
Tapi cinta abang ditolak. Mungkin sebab kesalahan grammar abang yang telus sangat. Ha ha
Clean in dust!
(Sila Nyanyi ikut rentak asal)
You just like a clean water
In the glass with dust
Even the dirty.... you can see
Beautiful of clean is still protect
Love is not only at eye
Love coming from heart
Let be wrong.. from they eye
Let the different can see... between us.
I hope you... still can accept
Even looking so ugly
Because the real meaning of love
Only we feel it
One day will coming
The light will appear
The door will open
We step in together
That time we can see
The light is bright
The dust be a pearl
The ugly be honor
This is not dreaming
What I sharing
But very confident
Happening
Because of love
The sea will burn
Still I swimming
Confirm!
Woha!
Selain itu, untuk menambahkan kefahaman dalam English, abang juga berpantun dengan orang-orang tua.
Contoh pantun;
The Pandan Island is far from land,
The Daik Mountain has three peak,
Though the body has rot in the sand,
The good deeds are never forget.
(grammar silap sikit sebab nak bagi belakangnya sinomim, adohai)
Terkadang abang juga ada berteka-teki dalam bahasa Inggeris;
1. Which mountain has three peaks?
2. Which island is far from land?
Sesekali, apabila berdiri seorang diri depan cermin, abang akan menari macam Michael Jackson dan menyanyi lagi ini;
You better run,
You better do what you can,
Don't wanna see no blood,
Don't be a macho man,
You wanna be tough,
Better do what you can,
So beat it,
But you wanna be bad,
Just beat it.
Bini abang cukup menyampah tengok ayah tergedik-gedik sepahkan bilik tidur dengan tarian gimnastik. Woha!
Kadang-kadang abang akan berpatriotik dalam Bahasa Inggeris;
Rukun Negara
Kepercayaan kepada Tuhan - Belief of God
Kesetiaan kepada Raja dan Negara - Loyalty to King and Country
Keluhuran Perlembagaan - The Supremacy of the Constitution
Kedaulatan Undang-Undang - The Rule of Law
Kesopanan dan Kesusilaan - Courtesy and Morality
Bila jumpa member-member berpendidikan tinggi yang bergelar pensyarah, doktor atau professor, tanpa segan silu abang akan terus bercakap dalam bahasa Inggeris dengan mereka. Begitu juga jika berurusan dengan orang Cina dan India, abang akan speaking dengan mereka. Malahan dengan kucing yang curi-curi masuk rumah pun abang akan halau dalam bahasa Inggeris. Malah sesekali bila berasmaradana dengan bini, kami speaking juga. Woha!
Dan pengalaman yang paling bernilai dalam hidup ialah ketika para pendakwah dari luar negara datang berdakwah di kampung maka abang akan menjadi pengalih bahasa untuk orang kampung yang tak tahu berbahasa Inggeris. Begitu lebih kurang…
“Alhamdulillah, Allah puts the success of human’s life in this world and the hereafter only in the perfect religion. The Perfect religion is carrying out all of the commandments of Allah following the way of Rasulullah S.A.W. All of the companions of Rasullulah have had the perfect religion in their life, It was mainly because all of them had six noble qualities with them. If we want to have the perfect religion in our life, we should follow the footsteps of those successful people by making effort to obtain and bring the six qualities into our life. If we have these six noble qualities with us, we will also be able to practice the perfect religion in our life easily…”
Alkisahnya, Pada suatu hari, ketika rancak berborak dengan kawan-kawan dalam bahasa Inggeris yang berterabur tapi janji faham, maka terciptalah satu teori baru dalam hidup abang. Kawan-kawan abang bila belajar bahasa Inggeris mereka ada target atau measurement masing-masing dalam menentukan setakat mana pengetahuan mereka dalam bahasa ini telah tercapai.
Sesetengah mereka menganggap sudah pandai berbahasa Inggeris apabila boleh berborak dengan pelancong asing. Ada pula yang merasakan mereka sudah fasih berbahasa ini apabila boleh menyanyi lagu Inggeris dan pada masa sama faham maksud tersirat. Ada yang anggap mereka sudah pandai berbahasa Inggeris apabila boleh mengarang resume sehingga diterima kerja. Selain itu, ada yang menganggap mereka sudah fluent English apabila boleh membaca novel barat tanpa merujuk kamus dan lain-lain.
Tapi abang lain, abang ada target tersendiri dalam menentukan setakat mana pengetahuan ayah dalam Bahasa Inggeris tercapai iaitu…
(bersambung...)
Dipetik dari buku Hamka keretamayat
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Okey belanja sikit lagi...
Tapi abang lain, abang ada target tersendiri dalam menentukan setakat mana pengetahuan abang dalam Bahasa Inggeris tercapai iaitu…
Abang Mesti Bermimpi Dalam Bahasa Inggeris!
Maka untuk itu.., pada suatu hari yang lain
(Sekarang baru betul betul bersambung)
Woha!
(cerita penuh kisah ini ada dalam buku Hamka keretamayat-Ngeteh dikubur ayah)
Buku ada stok.
Semusim di Syurga- kisah penduduk kuala syurga dan masalah agama.
Kisah laki bini-cerita pasangan membantu cinta dalam masa tiga hari.
Kisah anak bini- kisah anak tanya soalan pelik tapi di jawab oleh ayah dengan bergaya.
NGETEH di kubur ayah-kisah surat dari kubur kepada masyarakat kebanyakkan.
Kerana dia anak syurga:-kisah 12 parent OKU berdamai dengan takdir.
No wasap untuk order abang mayat share dekat first komen.
Don't say abang not umbrella.. ella..ella.. umbrella.. ella.. ella..
Woha!
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Hello Xin chào
Goodbye tạm biệt, thì thào Whisper
Lie nằm, Sleep ngủ, Dream mơ
Thấy cô gái đẹp See girl beautiful
I want tôi muốn, kiss hôn
Lip môi, Eyes mắt ... sướng rồi ... oh yeah!
Long dài, short ngắn, tall cao
Here đây, there đó, which nào, where đâu
Sentence có nghĩa là câu
Lesson bài học, rainbow cầu vồng
Husband là đức ông chồng
Daddy cha bố, please don"t xin đừng
Darling tiếng gọi em cưng
Merry vui thích, cái sừng là horn
Rách rồi xài đỡ chữ torn
To sing là hát, a song một bài
Nói sai sự thật to lie
Go đi, come đến, một vài là some
Đứng stand, look ngó, lie nằm
Five năm, four bốn, hold cầm, play chơi
One life là một cuộc đời
Happy sung sướng, laugh cười, cry kêu
Lover tạm dịch ngừơi yêu
Charming duyên dáng, mỹ miều graceful
Mặt trăng là chữ the moon
World là thế giới, sớm soon, lake hồ
Dao knife, spoon muỗng, cuốc hoe
Đêm night, dark tối, khổng lồ giant
Fund vui, die chết, near gần
Sorry xin lỗi, dull đần, wise khôn
Burry có nghĩa là chôn
Our souls tạm dịch linh hồn chúng ta
Xe hơi du lịch là car
Sir ngài, Lord đức, thưa bà Madam
Thousand là đúng...mười trăm
Ngày day, tuần week, year năm, hour giờ
Wait there đứng đó đợi chờ
Nightmare ác mộng, dream mơ, pray cầu
Trừ ra except, deep sâu
Daughter con gái, bridge cầu, pond ao
Enter tạm dịch đi vào
Thêm for tham dự lẽ nào lại sai
Shoulder cứ dịch là vai
Writer văn sĩ, cái đài radio
A bowl là một cái tô
Chữ tear nước mắt, tomb mồ, miss cô
Máy khâu dùng tạm chữ sew
Kẻ thù dịch đại là foe chẳng lầm
Shelter tạm dịch là hầm
Chữ shout là hét, nói thầm whisper
What time là hỏi mấy giờ
Clear trong, clean sạch, mờ mờ là dim
Gặp ông ta dịch see him
Swim bơi, wade lội, drown chìm chết trôi
Mountain là núi, hill đồi
Valley thung lũng, cây sồi oak tree
Tiền xin đóng học school fee
Yêu tôi dùng chữ love me chẳng lầm
To steal tạm dịch cầm nhầm
Tẩy chay boycott, gia cầm poultry
Cattle gia súc, ong bee
Something to eat chút gì để ăn
Lip môi, tongue lưỡi, teeth răng
Exam thi cử, cái bằng licence...
Lovely có nghĩa dễ thương
Pretty xinh đẹp thường thường so so
Lotto là chơi lô tô
Nấu ăn là cook , wash clothes giặt đồ
Push thì có nghĩa đẩy, xô
Marriage đám cưới, single độc thân
Foot thì có nghĩa bàn chân
Far là xa cách còn gần là near
Spoon có nghĩa cái thìa
Toán trừ subtract, toán chia divide
Dream thì có nghĩa giấc mơ
Month thì là tháng , thời giờ là time
Job thì có nghĩa việc làm
Lady phái nữ, phái nam gentleman
Close friend có nghĩa bạn thân
Leaf là chiếc lá, còn sun mặt trời
Fall down có nghĩa là rơi
Welcome chào đón, mời là invite
Short là ngắn, long là dài
Mũ thì là hat, chiếc hài là shoe
Autumn có nghĩa mùa thu
Summer mùa hạ , cái tù là jail
Duck là vịt , pig là heo
Rich là giàu có , còn nghèo là poor
Crab thi` có nghĩa con cua
Church nhà thờ đó , còn chùa temple
Aunt có nghĩa dì , cô
Chair là cái ghế, cái hồ là pool
Late là muộn , sớm là soon
Hospital bệnh viẹn , school là trường
Dew thì có nghĩa là sương
Happy vui vẻ, chán chường weary
Exam có nghĩa kỳ thi
Nervous nhút nhát, mommy mẹ hiền.
Region có nghĩa là miền,
Interupted gián đoạn còn liền next to.
Coins dùng chỉ những đồng xu,
Còn đồng tiền giấy paper money.
Here chỉ dùng để chỉ tại đây,
A moment một lát còn ngay ringht now,
Brothers-in-law đồng hao.
Farm-work đòng áng, đồng bào Fellow- countryman
Narrow- minded chỉ sự nhỏ nhen,
Open-hended hào phóng còn hèn là mean.
Vẫn còn dùng chữ still,
Kỹ năng là chữ skill khó gì!
Gold là vàng, graphite than chì.
Munia tên gọi chim ri
Kestrel chim cắt có gì khó đâu.
Migrant kite là chú diều hâu
Warbler chim chích, hải âu petrel
Stupid có nghĩa là khờ,
Đảo lên đảo xuống, stir nhiều nhiều.
How many có nghĩa bao nhiêu.
Too much nhiều quá , a few một vài
Right là đúng , wrong là sai
Chess là cờ tướng , đánh bài playing card
Flower có nghĩa là hoa
Hair là mái tóc, da là skin
Buổi sáng thì là morning
King là vua chúa, còn Queen nữ hoàng
Wander có nghĩa lang thang
Màu đỏ là red, màu vàng yellow
Yes là đúng, không là no
Fast là nhanh chóng, slow chậm rì
Sleep là ngủ, go là đi
Weakly ốm yếu healthy mạnh lành
White là trắng, green là xanh
Hard là chăm chỉ , học hành study
Ngọt là sweet, kẹo candy
Butterfly là bướm, bee là con ong
River có nghĩa dòng sông
Wait for có nghĩa ngóng trông đợi chờ
Dirty có nghĩa là dơ
Bánh mì bread, còn bơ butter
Bác sĩ thì là doctor
Y tá là nurse, teacher giáo viên
Mad dùng chỉ những kẻ điên,
Everywhere có nghĩa mọi miền gần xa.
A song chỉ một bài ca.
Ngôi sao dùng chữ star, có liền!
Firstly có nghĩa trước tiên
Silver là bạc , còn tiền money
Biscuit thì là bánh quy
Can là có thể, please vui lòng
Winter có nghĩa mùa đông
Iron là sắt còn đồng copper
Kẻ giết người là killer
Cảnh sát police , lawyer luật sư
Emigrate là di cư
Bưu điện post office, thư từ là mail
Follow có nghĩa đi theo
Shopping mua sắm còn sale bán hàng
Space có nghĩa không gian
Hàng trăm hundred, hàng ngàn thousand
Stupid có nghĩa ngu đần
Thông minh smart, equation phương trình
Television là truyền hình
Băng ghi âm là tape, chương trình program
Hear là nghe watch là xem
Electric là điện còn lamp bóng đèn
Praise có nghĩa ngợi khen
Crowd đông đúc, lấn chen hustle
Capital là thủ đô
City thành phố , local địa phương
Country có nghĩa quê hương
Field là đồng ruộng còn vườn garden
Chốc lát là chữ moment
Fish là con cá , chicken gà tơ
Naive có nghĩa ngây thơ
Poet thi sĩ , great writer văn hào
Tall thì có nghĩa là cao
Short là thấp ngắn, còn chào hello
Uncle là bác, elders cô.
Shy mắc cỡ, coarse là thô.
Come on có nghĩa mời vô,
Go away đuổi cút, còn vồ pounce.
Poem có nghĩa là thơ,
Strong khoẻ mạnh, mệt phờ dog- tiered.
Bầu trời thường gọi sky,
Life là sự sống còn die lìa đời
Shed tears có nghĩa lệ rơi
Fully là đủ, nửa vời by halves
Ở lại dùng chữ stay,
Bỏ đi là leave còn nằm là lie.
Tomorrow có nghĩa ngày mai
Hoa sen lotus, hoa lài jasmine
Madman có nghĩa người điên
Private có nghĩa là riêng của mình
Cảm giác là chữ feeling
Camera máy ảnh hình là photo
Động vật là animal
Big là to lớn , little nhỏ nhoi
Elephant là con voi
Goby cá bống, cá mòi sardine
Mỏng mảnh thì là chữ thin
Cổ là chữ neck, còn chin cái cằm
Visit có nghĩa viếng thăm
Lie down có nghĩa là nằm nghỉ ngơi
Mouse con chuột , bat con dơi
Separate có nghĩa tách rời , chia ra
Gift thì có nghĩa món quà
Guest thì là khách chủ nhà house owner
Bệnh ung thư là cancer
Lối ra exit, enter đi vào
Up lên còn xuống là down
Beside bên cạnh, about khoảng chừng
Stop có nghĩa là ngừng
Ocean là biển, rừng là jungle
Silly là kẻ dại khờ,
Khôn ngoan smart, đù đờ luggish
Hôn là kiss, kiss thật lâu.
Cửa sổ là chữ window
Special đặc biệt normal thường thôi
Lazy... làm biếng quá rồi
Ngồi mà viết tiếp một hồi die soon
Hứng thì cứ việc go on,
Còn không stop ta còn nghỉ ngơi!
Cằm CHIN có BEARD là râu
RAZOR dao cạo, HEAD đầu, da SKIN
THOUSAND thì gọi là nghìn
BILLION là tỷ, LOOK nhìn , rồi THEN
LOVE MONEY quý đồng tiền
Đầu tư INVEST, có quyền RIGHTFUL
WINDY RAIN STORM bão bùng
MID NIGHT bán dạ, anh hùng HERO
COME ON xin cứ nhào vô
NO FEAR hổng sợ, các cô LADIES
Con cò STORKE, FLY bay
Mây CLOUD, AT ở, BLUE SKY xanh trời
OH! MY GOD...! Ối! Trời ơi
MIND YOU. Lưu ý WORD lời nói say
HERE AND THERE, đó cùng đây
TRAVEL du lịch, FULL đầy, SMART khôn
Cô đõn ta dịch ALONE
Anh văn ENGLISH , nổi buồn SORROW
Muốn yêu là WANT TO LOVE
OLDMAN ông lão, bắt đầu BEGIN
EAT ăn, LEARN học, LOOK nhìn
EASY TO FORGET dễ quên
BECAUSE là bỡi ... cho nên , DUMP đần
VIETNAMESE , người nước Nam
NEED TO KNOW... biết nó cần lắm thay
SINCE từ, BEFORE trước, NOW nay
Đèn LAMP, sách BOOK, đêm NIGHT, SIT ngồi
SORRY thương xót, ME tôi
PLEASE DON"T LAUGH đừng cười, làm ơn
FAR Xa, NEAR gọi là gần
WEDDING lễ cưới, DIAMOND kim cương
SO CUTE là quá dễ thương
SHOPPING mua sắm, có sương FOGGY
SKINNY ốm nhách, FAT: phì
FIGHTING: chiến đấu, quá lỳ STUBBORN
COTTON ta dịch bông gòn
A WELL là giếng, đường mòn là TRAIL
POEM có nghĩa làm thơ,
POET Thi Sĩ nên mơ mộng nhiều.
ONEWAY nghĩa nó một chiều,
THE FIELD đồng ruộng, con diều là KITE.
Của tôi có nghĩa là MINE,
TO BITE là cắn, TO FIND kiếm tìm
TO CARVE xắt mỏng, HEART tim,
DRIER máy sấy, đắm chìm TO SINK.
FEELING cảm giác, nghĩ THINK
PRINT có nghĩa là in, DARK mờ
LETTER có nghĩa lá thơ,
TO LIVE là sống, đơn sơ SIMPLE.
CLOCK là cái đồng hồ,
CROWN vương niệm, mã mồ GRAVE.
KING vua, nói nhảm TO RAVE,
BRAVE can đảm, TO PAVE lát đường.
SCHOOL nghĩa nó là trường,
LOLLY là kẹo, còn đường SUGAR.
Station trạm GARE nhà ga
FISH SAUCE nước mắm, TOMATO là cá chua
EVEN huề, WIN thắng, LOSE thua
TURTLE là một con rùa
SHARK là cá mập, CRAB cua, CLAW càng
COMPLETE là được hoàn toàn
FISHING câu cá, DRILL khoan, PUNCTURE dùi
LEPER là một người cùi
CLINIC phòng mạch, sần sùi LUMPY
IN DANGER bị lâm nguy
Giải phầu nhỏ là SUGERY đúng rồi
NO MORE ta dịch là thôi
AGAIN làm nữa, bồi hồi FRETTY
Phô mai ta dịch là CHEESE
CAKE là bánh ngọt, còn mì NOODLE
ORANGE cam, táo APPLE
JACK-FRUIT trái mít, VEGETABLE là rau
CUSTARD-APPLE mãng cầu
PRUNE là trái táo tàu, SOUND âm
LOVELY có nghĩa dễ thương
PRETTY xinh đẹp, thường thường SO SO
LOTTO là chơi lô tô
Nấu ăn là COOK , WASH CLOTHES giặt đồ
PUSH thì có nghĩa đẩy, xô
MARRIAGE đám cưới, SINGLE độc thân
FOOT thì có nghĩa bàn chân
FAR là xa cách, còn gần là NEAR
SPOON có nghĩa cái thìa
Toán trừ SUBTRACT, toán chia DIVIDE
PLOUGH tức là đi cày
WEEK tuần MONTH tháng, WHAT TIME mấy giờ?
Đọc hết bài bạn đã nhớ được bao nhiêu từ nè 😋
Theo Giáo sư Ngô Bảo Châu
dirty word in english 在 Kuah Jenhan Facebook 的精選貼文
“On the contrary, most local comedians who do their shows in English or Malaysian-English tend to resort to crude, rude, insulting or racist humour which many would find offensive and in poor taste. While a specific audience may find this amusing, they would not appeal to a broader audience.”
The above is an excerpt from an opinion letter to The Star by A Moreton-Shabirin of Kuantan written on 7 November 2018. The title of the piece was “Offensive humour is not funny.” Link attached.
Firstly I want to put it out there that I appreciate the opinion and more so, the desire to discuss the state of comedy in a national paper. Lord knows we could use the publicity! Thank you so much. Back to the opinion piece— it is a valid opinion but one that I find myself unable to fully agree because ‘offensive’ or ‘rude’ felt like a generalisation here. So here are my thoughts.
This matters to me because I am part of the young but hungry comedy scene in Malaysia. 10 years ago, there was only one show a month, TimeOut KL Comedy Thursday, with only five to eight regular aspiring-comedians. Presently, while comedy venues/clubs are closing down in regional Singapore and Hong Kong, Malaysia has Crackhouse Comedy Club, operating at least 5 days a week, on course to celebrate their fifth birthday in 2019 and another full-time comedy club, Joke Factory. We are thriving, baby!
Number of comedians have risen close to the sun as well. I worked on a stand-up comedy TV show, Sedapnya Mulut, produced by my friend Shamaine Othman, where 42 comedians, new and haggard, were involved in. That’s 42 comedians okay-ed for the Malaysian TV masses!
As a storyteller, comedian, person, one of your most accessible yet valuable possessions are your stories and experiences. The writer wants to hear them all— BUT CLEAN! I think that is non-starter approach to comedy. My favourite comedian, Mike Birbiglia, said, “All jokes are offensive…to someone.” in his special ‘Thanks God For Jokes’ which by the way, is an ESSENTIAL viewing for the writer (it is on Netflix and I implore you to watch it when you find the time). Birbiglia was addressing the Charlie Hebdo incident where 10 satirist/comedy writers were murdered.
Comedy always has a victim. Wait, victim is a strong word but I can’t think of another at the moment. Sorry. Anyway, I’m going to prove this fact. The writer names Jim Gaffigan, Michael McIntyre, and Jerry Seinfeld among others who has achieved immense success without the need to be offensive. Great list of comedians. In Gaffigan’s latest (and very good) special, Nobel Ape, (available on Spotify), he has a fantastic bit on massages. It goes, “What do we really know about massage therapist? They like to rub strangers for money, while listening to the Avatar soundtrack. That’s a red flag. Those are the traits of a serial killer.” In this joke, the target, TARGET! That’s the word I was looking for, not victim. The target in the joke are massage therapists but even when put in the context of a comedy show, told by a wholesome father of five, can anyone guarantee no one will find it insulting (offensive)? Not a chance. Micheal McIntyre has a bit on the sport of tennis and cricket having too much ‘faffing’ and goes into a potent physical act-out of all the ‘faffing’ that goes on. The target there are tennis players and cricket players. Comedy always has a target.
Seinfeld swore on stage early in his career but decided to stopped. He discussed this in yet another ESSENTIAL viewing for the writer— HBO’s ‘Talking Funny’. On the flip side, Pete Holmes, another comedians refrained from swearing on stage to be ‘wholesome’ and ‘clean’ but finally found his stride when he let loose and started swearing (like a sailor). He discussed this on Mike Birbiglia’s recent podcast, ‘The Old Ones’.
I have seen crude, racist, dirty or insulting comedy on the Malaysian stage. I don’t agree with all of it but I understand because I started there too. I thought a joke was more likely to land when you draw from a shared pool of knowledge. For me, the shallowest, closest part of the pool would be our multiculturalism— Chinese are like this, Malays are like that, Indians are forgotten.
Eventually I grew out of it, and pride myself a clean comedian for many years. But this year, I caught myself swearing on stage. I was a bit upset but it also felt natural to me. Swearing existed in my psyche, in my thoughts, so why shouldn’t it exist in my words given the right circumstances like a comedy show marketed to 18-and-over only? Did it hurt anyone? I don’t know. Is it a big deal? No, I don’t think so.
Maybe the comedians the writers had watch here were aspiring comedians like myself, 10 years ago. Green and unsure of their voices yet. That’s okay. But I want to assure the writer that while the stand-up comedy stage is the closest semblance to freedom of speech, we draw lines that cannot be crossed. I have seen people get thrown off the stage for performing chauvinistic, bigoted material. Back when I started and operated the once-a-month comedy show, there was a bigot who’s whole set was women-bashing and so we pulled him off the stage. Months later he came back, told us he had a ‘new set’ and that he learnt his lesson. We let him back on stage and he had replaced women-bashing with Muslim-bashing. Alamak!!! What did we do? We banned him from ever performing on our stage. (Comedians of 2010s, remember this buttface?!)
I really like that the writer is a comedy fan. I don’t even know all the comedians he’s named! The vastness of knowledge is such a beautiful thing.
But I have to say that this difference in opinion is in some ways our doing as well. Whenever someone says “comedy in Malaysia”, the sad sad truth is what it really means is “comedy in KL/PJ”. After all, Crackhouse is in TTDI KL, Joke Factory is in Publika, KL. The myriad of open-mic shows are all in KL/PJ. Why haven’t we in the last 10 years been able to built a sustainable route to more cities around the country? This is a conundrum that upsets me and one I hope to fix.
I do want to do my part so here’s a promise: The one-hour show that I wrote this year, Electric Butterflies, has been booked to perform in Adelaide and Edinburgh in 2019 but I have also started putting together a national and regional tour route. I promise the writer, I will bring the show to Kuantan! Please come! But, be warned, comedy always has a target!
Till next year, don’t stop watching comedy. Trust me, like the rest of the world, you WILL grow to like our jokes.
Jenhan
dirty word in english 在 Dirty word Meaning - YouTube 的推薦與評價
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