整理資料發現近兩年前去某國際研討會分享 #手天使 心得時的講稿,當時把我知道的議題面向都寫進去了。貼上來給有興趣的朋友。
[[slide page 1]]
Thank you for attending this part.
I'm from Hand Angel, a non-profit organization of Taiwan.
The title of my presentation is "As a sex worker and a sex volunteer",
since I'm both a sex worker, and also attending Hand Angel as a sex volunteer.
[[slide page 2]]
Allow me to introduce my organization more,
though you may know some from what Vincent has said in the morning.
Our main tenet is sexual rights to people with disabilities.
[[slide page 3]]
This includes not only orgasm, but also the right to control one's sexuality with autonomy and without discrimination.
People know us usually because we provide limited sexual service for servere physical or visual disabilities, including females.
Hand Angel is not a registered organization in Taiwan,
since we literally provide sexual service, which is considered against public order and morals.
However, we are still able to initiative our idea on the table
because our service are free, which means we actually do not violate any law.
[[slide page 4]]
In Taiwan, the definition of "sexual transaction" includes obscene acts in exchange for monetary,
which means it's considered transactional sex even there is no sexual intercourse.
And since transactional sex is technically illegal in Taiwan,
there's no legal way for us to charge anything by providing any service which may be considered obscenity.
This is much different in other countries.
In Japan, the law prohibiting sexual transaction only applies to intercourse between one male and one female. That's why White Hands and NOIR are able to provide paid handjob. The other reason is that they seem do not locate their service as sexual transaction. We can talk about this difference later.
And in Hong Kong, there's some way for sex workers not to be punished, which is called "one-woman brothel". So the difficulty for people with disabilities to satisfy their sexual desire would be different.
I, who has been a sex worker for years -- under the table, of course -- was invited to join Hand Angel at its very beginning.
[[slide page 5]]
People keep asking me that how a sex worker would think about a free sexual service.
But before that question, I think it's more important for us to know the difference other than money.
What's the difference between a classical transactional sex and our service?
As a sex worker, I hope my customers will come back to me more and more, as many times as they can pay.
But as a member of Hand Angel, I hope the servees would not need us anymore.
In fact, I hope they don't have to come to us at the very beginning.
The reason why people with disabilities may need sexual service, is the absence of sexual resource, the resource to fulfill one's sexual desire.
This is just like other issues of disabilities.
[[slide page 6]]
Just providing a service would not resolve the structural problem.
For example, if you give food to the poor without changing their situation, you would end up finding out that they're still poor.
Now change the "food" to "sex".
If we just give our own sex to those who barely have sexual resource, we'll end up exploiting ourselves, and their bad situation still remains.
The problem is, disabled people are considered abnormal, and they have been treated as no unnecessary needs.
But what is necessary for a person to live her own life instead of just survive?
In our issue, disabled people are usually considered asexual, and seldom sexy. That's the stigma we're going to break down.
[[slide page 7]]
There are some textures talking about disabled people in love and having sex, such as "Scarlet Road", "Sex on Wheels", and "The Sessions".
However, the narrative are usually based on ableism.
Viewers usually focus on how can the service provider "bear" to have sex with disabled people, instead of seeing the obstacles disabled people encounter.
[[slide page 8]]
A feminist has said that the relationship a disabled person has is considered depending on the compassion of the other person. People think their sexuality is disgusting and only saints are able to tolerate it.
So we can see the problem is not only physical obstacles, but also how we think about intimate relationship a disabled person deserves.
[[slide page 9]]
Does Hand Angel care about intimate issue? The answer is yes.
In our service, we provide not only sexual service. Our target is not the physical orgasm, but the infinite opportunity of their own lives.
Here are two examples.
[[slide page 10]] Little Prince
Since this servee can sense nothing below his waist, a classical handjob would be meaningless.
Fortunately, we have a BDSM queen in our team.
She thought of techniques in SM to check how pain it is to the slave, and use the same trick to check how the servee's body can feel.
I have to emphasize: that was not a medical treatment, that was about communication with each other.
They were talking about the feeling of two people, instead of the body of one person.
The whole process relies on the intimacy between the sex volunteer and the servee.
[[slide page 11]] ND
"Strolling" for him was from his room to the front door of his home.
Uh, I'm not talking about he lives in a big house.
Though using an electric wheelchair, ND's finger was not powerful enough to control the device for more than 10 minutes,
which means going out alone is not possible for him.
But after applying for our service, he trained himself to "walk" longer.
Even after our service, we were told that he kept trying to leave home and meet other friends.
Another servee has tried other entertainment such as snorkeling and paragliding after our service.
He's having a more plentiful life than before, and even than me.
[[slide page 12]]
In these cases, we can see that:
First, physical orgasm is not the only purpose of a sexual service.
Secondly, libido, or desire for sexual activity, is a strong energy for people to live.
There's a continuing question for us: People can still live without sex.
[[slide page 13]]
What's so important for disabled people to have sex?
Well, I think sex is probably not important for those who can have sex easily, but the impossibility to sex or intimacy may deny the self-esteem of a person.
Sex is an important reason for most people to make friends. So on the other hand, once a person is forced to abandon the opportunity to have sex, she (or he) might lose the energy to social activities. And that's not good for mental health.
[[slide page 14]] The 3 aspects we care about
First, physical orgasm. This is not only about sex organ, but also those come from your erogenous zone.
The problem is not only that people don't know how to interact with disabled people during sex,
but also that people do not want to know how the sex would be for people with different disabilities.
Second, intimacy. The right to have a satisfying date is also important.
Let's imagine, what if a couple of lovers want to kiss each other while seeing movie in a theater, but one of them is in wheelchair so their positions are actually separated?
Third, social integration. Many people with disabilities don't have enough opportunity to make close friends. One of the reasons is that other people usually don't know how to react with disabled people. Therefore, education is important.
[[slide page 15]] Gender Equity Education
In Taiwan, gender equity education comprises 3 parts: affective education, sex education, and gay and lesbian education.
Though I also want to introduce the situation that the conservative group is raising a proposal of referendum to forbid gay and lesbian education, but that's not the issue here so I have to skip that. I hope people who are interested in Taiwan may notice that same-sex marriage is not the only issue about gender equity.
Uh, back to disability rights movement.
As an organization which cares both gender issue and disability issue, we note that even open-minded gender activists may ignore the existence of people with disabilities.
Gender equity education is never designed or applied in the point of view of the disabled.
For example, there are some materials for teaching safe sex, but people seldom think about how a blind person should know before she (or he) masturbate or have sex.
We have a servee who once masturbated in the bathroom of his home, but couldn't clean up since not knowing where his semen reached during ejaculation, and therefore shocked his sister who later used the bathroom.
And another friend bought an artificial vagina in a sex toy store. But he didn't even know he have to erect before insertion.
[[slide page 16]] female servee
People caring about gender equity keep question us: why is there only one female servee during these 5 years after our foundation?
Well, we think the answer is complicated. But the most important one is: how difficult for a female to "confess" she has sexual desire?
We all know about "slut shaming", and those terms to humiliate females by their sexuality -- such as "bitch" and "whore".
It's difficult even for able-bodied females to state their sex experience and preference.
Then it's even more difficult for disabled females to think what she herself wants.
But before sexual activity with other people, disabled females don't even know their body well.
The only female servee we have, told us she has never seen or touched her own vagina.
So we also hosted some conferences and speeches to discuss about such situation of disabled females.
[[slide page 17]] Androcentrism
This is an important issue for us. And I think it's important for those who care about sexual health of disabled people.
Though there are some textures talking about sexual desires of disabled females. To provide sexual service or even sex education to them is barely seen.
I have to admit that, even though there are more and more female members joining us, androcentrism is still not easy to get over.
[[slide page 18]] limitations
Hand Angel provides service to those with servere physical or visual disabilities.
So here comes a frequently asked question: what about others?
The main difficulty for us is that we don't know enough about the situation of other disabilities.
Of course we know that people with other disabilities also don't have enough sexual resources,
but we ourselves do not have enough resources to share, either.
That's why we also hope other people to compose other similar organization.
Meanwhile, there are some people we cannot help because of law.
Adolescents are the ones I myself care about most,
since male teenagers have overwhelming sexual desire, and that would be hell for those with upper limb disability.
However, there are always laws prohibiting youths to have sex in every country.
[[slide page 19]]
In Taiwan, it is legal to have sexual activity after 16. No matter it's intercourse or not.
But even for an organization providing free service like us, the member who communicate with sex volunteer and the servee would be punished as a broker if the servee is younger than 18.
Actually, we do have an applier who mailed us about his desire when he was 15. What we can do is tell him to wait 3 more years.
Unfortunately, being an adult does not mean your right to sex is permitted.
[[slide page 20]]
People with intellectual disability or mental disorder are also infantilized, treated as babies or angels, and considered asexual.
The dilemma is similar to what teenagers have. Their consents are not considered valid.
That is frustrating. The law to protect them from sexual violence also tortures them.
[[slide page 21]] Acrotomophilia and devotees
While talking about disabled people in love or having sex, this is also an issue we should mention.
Some people worry about that devotees are just trying to dominate or take control of the disabled people.
This is similar to MacKinnon's dominance theory and male supremacy.
Devotees are considered to have more power in the relationship, and thus disabled people have a lack of autonomy.
I think that's a stigma, too.
The dominance theory does not deny free love. It focuses on the power issue.
Thus, the problem lies still on the absence of resources disabled people deserve.
Slanders on devotees are based on the prejudice that disabled people are never sexy,
and that denies the possibility for disabled people to have plentiful sexual activity.
The whole society shall support disabled people to have their own autonomy in their relationship.
[[slide page 22]] Difficulties
Usually, people would understand sexual desire of disabled people.
But to support it publicly is another story, especially for the organizations relying on donations.
There are some social workers and parents telling us that they want to do something to help their cases and family,
but it is still an issue which could not be spoken.
It's never been easy for us to talk about sex on the table, but it should be done.
Even for those who don't agree with the idea of sexual service, I do hope you could at least support disabled people to talk about their sex and romance.
[[slide page 23]]
This ends my report. Thank you for listening.
I'm Kong, a sex volunteer of Hand Angel from Taiwan.
同時也有9部Youtube影片,追蹤數超過196萬的網紅主頻道【谷阿莫】,也在其Youtube影片中提到,第1136部《友情以上 (限時好友 Friend Zone)》 我是谷阿莫的主頻道,影片主要會在這邊更新,若是主頻道出問題,可以去其他頻道觀看。 |副 頻 道:https://reurl.cc/6ROXb |休閒頻道:https://bit.ly/2UhcK5y |大家來說故事頻道:https://...
「friend zone movie」的推薦目錄:
- 關於friend zone movie 在 阿空 Facebook 的最佳解答
- 關於friend zone movie 在 Racheal Kwacz - Child & Family Development Specialist Facebook 的最佳解答
- 關於friend zone movie 在 ใบเฟิร์น - พิมพ์ชนก ลือวิเศษไพบูลย์ (Baifern - Pimchanok) Facebook 的最讚貼文
- 關於friend zone movie 在 主頻道【谷阿莫】 Youtube 的最讚貼文
- 關於friend zone movie 在 もちゅ/mochu Youtube 的最佳貼文
- 關於friend zone movie 在 Top movie picks Youtube 的最讚貼文
- 關於friend zone movie 在 Friendzone 2021 - Official Trailer (English Dubbed) - YouTube 的評價
- 關於friend zone movie 在 Friend Zoned - Facebook 的評價
- 關於friend zone movie 在 FRIEND ZONE | คำคมจากหนัง, ภาพอารมณ์, มีม - Pinterest 的評價
friend zone movie 在 Racheal Kwacz - Child & Family Development Specialist Facebook 的最佳解答
My husband and I work quite a bit from home and these are some tips that have really helped us navigate work and family life together.
Each family dynamic is different, and what might work for one family, may look very different for another. The key using Respectful Parenting principles is just to let love lead.
Be kind to one another as well as yourself. Prep. Listen. Empathize. Acknowledge. Sit. Empower.
This is a new normal for many in what is an unprecedented move and will take a little time to adjust. To learn what works and what doesn't and there will be days that you definitely learn what doesn't. Or that it is less than what you expected or wanted that day to be. But maybe the next day or the day after you'll learn what does.
And when it falls apart some days, which it will. We've had different iterations of working from home since Ella Grace was born and there's been lots of giant failwhale moments even with the best laid plans. In those moments, the biggest things my husband and I needed to do was to breathe it all out, sit with all those uncomfortable feelings of hard and growth and guilt and overwhelm, allow it to surface and not build resentment, ask what it was here to teach us, let it go, forgive ourselves as much as each other, pick it all and each other up, call all the pieces back, and start again.
One step at a time, one day at a time.
Let love lead.
You got this mama, I'm rooting for you.
***
WORKING FROM HOME TOGETHER
1. Ask what's important. This is something we did together as a family and is pivotal. Asking what each other needed, what would help, what would not help, how we saw this working out really help everyone get on the same page. We wrote and listed down everything we talked about which really helped us all visually build a schedule as well as know and manage each others expectations.
2. Designate work and non-work time. This is crucial and will make a huge amount of difference. A schedule and routine helps give everyone structure to the day which is very comforting when so much is up in the air. It also allows everyone to be really present whether at work or with each other. Work is work time, play is really play time.
3. Connect to disconnect. If your little one is interrupting a lot, they are seeking for an emotional refueling and connection. If you are able to, fill up that tank through play and presence. When you first start and especially if you don't normally get a lot of time with them, they will crave for this a lot and follow you everywhere. Keep filling that tank, ideally designating specific refueling time (refer above!!) imagining it as in the negative, and when you can get it full, you'll be amazed at how well and willing they will be to separate and do their own thing.
4. Welcome interruptions lovingly but stay focused and come back to it. Take and build in breaks - ask if you need to connect, limit, set, prioritize, or nourish.
5. Sit by a window and bathe in natural light, preferable with some view of green with a giant bottle of water next to you - stay hydrated! Healthy snacks also help your brain get into a theta wave which is the most receptive to information and learning. I sit next to a giant window in our living room and it helps me not go stir-crazy!
6. Better yet, take lots of movement breaks. Exercise over eating allows your brain to stay in the theta wave the longest which is really where your brain is at it's optimum. The movement helps you get it all out and cope better by also releasing a flood of happy hormones. We try to start our day with a little 20-30min family exercise, it doesn't have to be fancy. Sometimes it's a little circuit that we build in our living room, a yoga or zumba video, or even just a dance party.
7. You don't have to "dress up" but it's important that you get dressed, brush your teeth, wash your face, prep yourself. It will really help you move from sloth to work mode. 😅❤️
8. Designate a work area and space. We live in a little apartment in the city but having designated work spaces is so important to help us keep focused and "in the zone".
9. Quiet is ideal but if not, earplugs or headphones work too when you need it.
10. Don't micromanage, you'll go crazy. Allow and trust everyone the beauty of discovery. What works for them, what doesn't. How creative they can get. How to regulate. How to ask for what they need or don't.
11. Be flexible and open as much as possible to change and new experiences and ideas as well as little mess. Again, we have a little 1500sqft condo in the city and we're actually on day 12 of self-quarantine so being mindful that this is a shared space for all of us means allowing Ella Grace to "dress up" our living room, leave different creations at different stages as she free plays, or being kind on ourselves in terms of what housework we can manage today if our plate is especially full or if we are just tired.
12. 20 minute shakedowns are your friend. We play this game in the evenings or when we need it and it's called a 20min shakedown. We set the timer for 20mins and everyone earnestly picks up, cleans up, puts away, the crazy of the day. The key is to really walk away at the 20min mark even if it's not perfect. What this does is that because you know it's only going to be 20mins, everyone tries their hardest and makes it fun instead of never-ending. Better yet, everyone is happy to do it again the next time!
13. Plan your time strategically. Mornings for me are for correspondence/follow-up/emails as I know I'm likely more to be interrupted then so pick tasks that would be easy to get back into. Nap time is calls or anything I might need to get done during the day that works better with minimal interruption. I usually "clock-off" at 3/4pm to play with Ella Grace (connect to disconnect!!) before I start dinner and usually go back to work at about 8/9pm to do the more serious thinking stuff that requires quiet like writing articles, designing workshops, working on slides, etc.
14. Schedule in marriage time. J and I are technically colleagues and we also run a business together. It's easy to get stuck in work mode so being sure that work is work and marriage is marriage also helps a lot. We make sure to "date" each other after Ella Grace goes to bed at night. It doesn't have to be fancy, a shared dessert, cuddling and watching a movie together, talking about our day. However and whatever your love languages are, honor that.
15. Be kind. To yourself, to your little one, to each other. It's hard heart work and it's constantly learning and unlearning. Choose to find joy. In the little things, in the big things. This too will pass, mama. We love you and are standing in the light with you. <3
📷 That Wild Road Photography
friend zone movie 在 ใบเฟิร์น - พิมพ์ชนก ลือวิเศษไพบูลย์ (Baifern - Pimchanok) Facebook 的最讚貼文
The wait is finally over!
Today in South Korea, ‘FRIEND ZONE’ <프렌드 존> movie is showing in cinemas nationwide. 🇰🇷 Hope you enjoy the film! 😊
#프렌드존
#FRIENDZONE
#ระวังสิ้นสุดทางเพื่อน
#FriendZoneinKoreaZone
friend zone movie 在 主頻道【谷阿莫】 Youtube 的最讚貼文
第1136部《友情以上 (限時好友 Friend Zone)》
我是谷阿莫的主頻道,影片主要會在這邊更新,若是主頻道出問題,可以去其他頻道觀看。
|副 頻 道:https://reurl.cc/6ROXb
|休閒頻道:https://bit.ly/2UhcK5y
|大家來說故事頻道:https://reurl.cc/Oo36y
想看跟我生活有關的影片,可以訂閱我的新頻道。
|谷阿莫Life:https://goo.gl/TYhtGM
------------------------------
我是谷阿莫,very good的阿莫,科科,來這邊只是聽我說一個我喜歡的故事,我不評論原始故事背後的含意或導演拍攝的用意,因為那些東西每個人都有不同的看法,有空還是要自己去看原創故事喔,謝謝。
------------------------------
這些地方也能看到谷阿莫。
谷阿莫臉書:https://www.facebook.com/amogood/
谷阿莫IG:https://www.instagram.com/imamogood/
聯絡信箱:amoverygood@gmail.com
friend zone movie 在 もちゅ/mochu Youtube 的最佳貼文
今日でネットに戻ってきて1年!
記念に2019年上半期に投稿した歌ってみたクロスフェードをみんなにプレゼントします!
いつも観てくれて、聴いてくれて、応援してくれてありがとう。
いろんな人の協力で今ここにいることができます。
ほんとにありがとう。
なんか年末の締めくくり感凄いけど、これからもよろしくお願いします!!!!!!
2年目、突っ走ります!!!!!!!!
01 エゴロック すりぃ様
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fvWAmhV2om4&t=1s
02 ラストダンス Eve様
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mC-EFQpkmrM&t=13s
03 乙女解剖 DECO*27様
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1mAmKrAc5Mc&t=8s
04 chocolate box feat.伊逹いたち DEZZY(一億円P)様
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gwtWNUlwMww
05 丸ノ内サディスティック rap remix 水星 mash up
東京事変/tofubeats様
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xOSyPC6wwTQ
06 フィクサー ぬゆり様
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KR4Np3lnzQQ
07 テレキャスタービーボーイ すりぃ様
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=umUlfUpx6AI
08 ヲズワルド 煮ル果実様
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tFFuMfrg8xU
09 Friend Zone ちゃんみな様
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RSzpTUCOXM8&t=1s
10 悪魔の踊り方 キタニタツヤ様
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2heYlZP9ub4
□歌ってみた再生リスト□
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sc3VSx9CDHY&list=PLU8GnYAomqgTwXjwLR11GWFPSRQA3yo0F
□Special Thanks □
https://twitter.com/akkun__mix
https://twitter.com/shintaro_nico
https://twitter.com/_pom_2525_
https://twitter.com/owari_start
https://twitter.com/Dboy0112
https://twitter.com/hachi8382
https://twitter.com/soyacomu
https://twitter.com/tone_ri333
□Movie□
https://twitter.com/GantaroJP
goods▷https://vvstore.jp/feature/detail/13688/
fanicon▷https://fanicon.net/fancommunities/976
Twitter▷https://twitter.com/mochu38
instagram▷https://www.instagram.com/zinseimakeg...
mail▷mochudayo@yahoo.co.jp
ファンレターやプレゼント等の宛先はこちら
〒501-6241 岐阜県羽島市竹鼻町2499-17 ブロブラ もちゅ 宛
#もちゅ #歌ってみた
friend zone movie 在 Top movie picks Youtube 的最讚貼文
訂閱【電癮好選喆Top movie picks】https://goo.gl/3S03OY
簡立喆主播臉書 https://goo.gl/cUWJx7
按個讚,最新訊息不漏接!
friend zone movie 在 Friend Zoned - Facebook 的推薦與評價
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Save space on your device. Explore · Quotes. Friendzone, Old Love, Film Aesthetic, Movie Scenes, Mood Quotes, Introvert,. More like this. ... <看更多>
friend zone movie 在 Friendzone 2021 - Official Trailer (English Dubbed) - YouTube 的推薦與評價
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