Forty-one. What a strange feeling. While I accept that I’m 41 years old, it’s like my mind hasn’t grasped the concept yet. What is 41 like?
You see - growing up, I didn’t dare to imagine life beyond 34.
My mum passed away at 34 and her mum passed away fairly young too. So for some weird reasons, I thought I might have a short life too. 😔
So when Nick and my kids grilled me about whether what I wished for during my birthday last year has come true, and what I would tell my 31-year-old self during my birthday lunch yesterday...
I held back tears and blurted out, “nothing much.”
Because if I go into how I really felt, I would have ugly-cried in the middle of a busy restaurant.
The truth is, I feel lucky just for being alive. I don’t wish for a big celebration or presents, (never have, never will). I’m overwhelmed with gratefulness that I’m healthy, I'm alive and surrounded by my loved ones. (Besides my dad and siblings in Malaysia but that’s another story.)
So thank YOU for all your kind messages and for remembering my birthday. Thank you for being apart of my life.
PS: 📸 The first image was taken by @theresaolesen_portraits late last year and it reminds me of my 21-year-old self as the Royal Stout girl. Swipe left! 👈🏻 Yes, the red-haired girl you may have seen in kopitiams in Malaysia and Singapore all those years ago was me! (Just humour me and say I haven’t aged that much please?)🤣😅
#birthdaymusing #fortyoneyearsold
同時也有26部Youtube影片,追蹤數超過2萬的網紅Jing Jing Beh 妗妗,也在其Youtube影片中提到,#penanghokkien #nirvana When discuss the arrangements for funeral, did your been interrupted because of "touchwood"? When your relatives pass away, d...
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how dare you girl 在 謙預 Qianyu.sg Facebook 的最佳解答
【天青色等煙雨,而我在等你】(English writing below)
我看著客人眼淚
滴滴答答的打在桌面上
筆記本
濕了
本子上的字
糊了
她的心酸
猶如洪泉遇到崩裂的堤壩
一波一浪的破牆而出
一個被愛情辜負的女子
看了真是心疼
我不由自覺的
想到了自己
你懂我的
像我這樣剛烈的女子
爲了愛情
我絕不退縮
祇是一個勇字
又豈能成事呢
童年
過得心驚膽顫
家裡常吵得
雞犬不寧
爸爸沒想要
把我生下
媽媽常說
要把我趕出去
我很努力讀書
我很努力做個乖孩子
我覺得我做得很好
人小小本事很大
但這些終究無法
讓我在美滿的家庭長大
多少個夜晚裡
我被媽媽打得
想奪門而出
永不再見
可是想到誰來照顧她
我又忍下來
我很恨
為何我命運不如人
第一次談戀愛時
我是多麼多麼的雀躍
內心裡的煙花
不斷地爆開
我終於等到了
不再是
沒人要的孩子了
我終於
值得有人愛了
初戀的絢麗
卻也如七彩美麗的煙花
一聲巨響後
就消失在漆黑的夜裡
他常常在我面前
提到他如何深愛著
他中學時的校花
她是如此的美好
有一次
這校花來我們的學校
他得知後
破課室的門而出
沒見到她
他哭了一整個星期
心中的不安
讓我常常與他吵架
三年零八個月裡
我不是一個好女友
服滿兵役後
他喜歡上大學迎新會
的一位混血兒
後來
我和一位校友打了幾次桌球
某夜
他在ICQ向我索吻
對他的印象
就一落千丈了
(你以為老娘在賤賣嗎?)
不久一位朋友告訴我
他約會的對象
不只我一個
我有一位
很好很好的朋友
我在新加坡時
他常陪我
深夜打桌球到清晨
聊佛法聊人生
一起上佛學班
一起學國標舞
從未有一個人
如此瞭解我的心
如此照顧著我
但無所不談的當兒
他也不斷告訴
這麼多年來
他如何愛念著
一個女孩
對她始終無法忘懷
我又輸給
活在記憶中的人了
我這一份單戀
長達兩年
很磨人很磨人很磨人
差一點走不出來
第二次談戀愛
他常在我面前提起
一個他追了半年追不到的女孩
他說
有一天一定要去問她
為什麼不選擇他
在家裡的毒打
並沒有隨著我成人
而停止
後來拜師學藝
卻因爲品德不良
被師父一句
「你不是我要找的人。」
斷然吃了閉門羹
那天我哭得痛徹心扉
覺得自己
好像是
個沒人要的孩子
方文山因爲
八百年前
宋徽宗皇帝御批的這句
「雨過天青雲破處」
而在周傑倫《青花瓷》裡
寫了『天青色等煙雨,而我在等你』
他說
愛情里最無力的無奈
就是「等待」
天青色得等待
不知何時會降的雨
雨停
積雲散去
朗朗晴空中
天青色才能顯現
如同我
只能被动而安静的
等待着
不知何时才会出现的妳。
慢慢的
我開始認為
我這輩子等不到了
月老應該沒幫我
綁上紅線
學佛多年後
忽然恍然大悟
一個道理
没有东西是必须拥有的
沒有它
也不代表自己的不足
愛情
是一個填不滿的慾望
所以愛情劇長紅
在2015年2月21日年初三,根本上師蓮生活佛在台灣中天綜合電視台的訪談中說:https://youtu.be/EPDxwSt6a5I (時間12:08)
「師尊本身的愛是這樣的。我既然愛她,就是要她幸福,不是要佔有她,這種愛不是佔有,其實愛不是佔有。如果愛是佔有的話,那就是屬於慾望。如果愛不是佔有,我是祝福她,雖然我愛她,她不愛我,她愛別人,我就祝福她。如果愛別人會比較幸福,我就祝福她。這種愛就不是佔有的愛。如果是佔有的愛,一定會產生痛苦。」
原來我真正在等的
是自己
自己的智慧開了
心變闊達時
才不會讓他人決定
自己幾時可以幸福
可以幸福多久
命運在我手中
怎麼走本來就是我說了算
我輕輕的拿起桌上的紙巾,遞給女客人。她一把鼻涕,一把眼淚的向我道謝。
借了師父慣用的笑話,我柔聲細語的說:「別哭,新加坡缺水,要哭要到蓄水池哭,這樣我們可以少看馬來西亞的臉色做人。」
她破涕而笑。
我再說:「我看了妳的八字,現在又看到妳真人,勸你跟我講話老實一點,要不然我幫不到妳。妳明明一直做人家的小三,還敢跟我哭沒有男人要和妳結婚?妳不也偷偷拿了他不少錢嗎?我看妳明明就是一張愛錢的臉。」
奉勸各位大俠,在我面前,若要用眼淚爲武器,請三思,因爲虛偽的,我必定拆你面具。
..........................
I looked at the teardrops of my client, pitter patter onto the table top. My client's notebook got wet. The words got muddled.
All the pains in her heart were like the angry river crushing through a broken dam, tearing down the walls as the tears flowed.
To see a lady being let down by love was indeed heart-breaking.
I couldn't help but thought of myself.
You know me. An unyielding character like mine will not shrink like a coward in the name of love. Alas, there are things in life that can't be accomplished solely with courage.
My childhood was filled with a lot of fear. There were often quarrels at home.
My dad didn't want me to be born. My mum often said she wanted to chase me out of the house.
I studied very hard. I did my utmost to be an obedient kid, and I thought I did very well as young child but I was already very capable. However, all these were not enough for me to grow up in a complete family.
So many nights, I got beaten up so badly by my mum that I wanted to just break out of the door and never to see her again. But the mere thought of nobody looking after her pulled me back.
I hated so much. Why wasn't my destiny comparable to other people?
When I first fell in love, I was so elated. The fireworks in my heart exploded non-stop. I finally found someone. I was no longer that child which nobody wanted. I was finally worthy of someone's love.
The splendour of first love, however, was as temporal as the rainbow-coloured fireworks. After a loud explosion, it vanished into the darkness of night.
He would often tell me in my face, how much he pined for and loved his secondary school crush, apparently the prettiest and most perfect girl in school.
Once, this campus belle came to our school. When he got wind of the news, he dashed out of the classroom. Failing to see her, he cried for one whole week.
My insecurity caused me to quarrel with him often. In those 3 years and 8 months, I wasn't a great girlfriend. After his NS, he got together with a girl of mixed blood at his university's Orientation camp.
I played pool with a uni mate a few times. One night over ICQ, he teased me for a kiss. My impression of him dropped like hot cakes. Did I look like I was lelong-ing myself? Later, a girl pal told me that he was dating several girls at the same time.
I had a very good friend. Whenever I was in Singapore, he would accompany me to play pool till wee hours. We talked about Dharma, life, and we attended Buddhism and ballroom dancing classes together. I had never met a person who understood me and took care of me so well.
But among our endless conversations of everything and anything, he always told me how he still loved a girl from his school. He couldn't forget her.
Again, I lost to someone who lived in the memory of the guy I liked.
This one-sided love of mine burned for two years. It was very, very, very excruciating. I almost didn't make it out alive.
In my second relationship, the boyfriend would always tell me about a pretty girl whom he pursued for half a year, but failed to win her heart. He told me firmly that if he had the chance, he wanted to ask her why she did not choose him.
The abusive beating at home did not stop even after I grew up.
Later on, when I wanted to become Shifu's disciple, he turned me down flat because he didn't think I had good morals and values. He was blunt, "You are not the person I am looking for."
That night, I cried painfully hard. Suddenly, I felt like I was the kid from my childhood whom nobody wanted.
800 years ago, Emperor Huizong of Song Dynasty wrote in an imperial decree "雨過天青雲破處". It was this that inspired Vincent Fang (方文山) to write the lyrics 『天青色等煙雨,而我在等你』in Jay Chou's song 青花瓷 (Blue and white porcelain).
Vincent Fang said, the most powerless kind of helplessness in love was waiting.
The sky green colour had to wait for the rain, which it had no idea when it would arrive. After the rain stopped, the thick clouds dissipated, in the clear skies, the sky green colour would then be able to appear. This was just like how he could only passively and quietly wait, for his lady whom he had no idea when she would appear.
Gradually, I started thinking that in this lifetime, I would not be able to wait for that person to appear. Perhaps Yue Lao (the elderly celestial under the moon) did not tie the red string on me.
After many years of learning the Dharma, one day, I suddenly came to the realisation that nothing is a must to own.
Secular love is a black hole of desires. That is why romantic shows are evergreen.
On 21 February 2015, the 3rd day of the Lunar New Year, my Root Guru Living Buddha Lian-Sheng spoke in an interview with the Taiwan CTI Television Inc.: https://youtu.be/EPDxwSt6a5I (timestamp 12:08)
"My personal take on love is this. Since I love her, I will want her to be blissful, and not to possess her. Such love isn't possession. Actually love isn't possession. If love is possession, that belongs to desire. If love isn't desire, I will wish her well. Although I love her, she doesn't love me, but loves another person, so I will give her my best wishes. If loving another person brings her more happiness, I will wish her well. Such love isn't possessive love. If it is possessive love, there will surely be pain."
Then I realised, the one that I had been waiting all along for is myself. Waiting for my wisdom to develop, waiting for my heart to be more open, so that I would not place my happiness in the hands of another person, and let the person decide for me when I should be happy, for how long I can stay happy...
My destiny is in my hands. How it pans out is up to me to say.
I gently picked up a serviette from the table and passed it to my lady client. In a mush of mucus and tears, she thanked me.
Borrowing an old joke from Shifu, I gently told her, "Don't cry. Singapore lacks water. If you want to cry, you should cry at a nearby reservoir. This way, we don't have to see the colours of Malaysia in order to get more water."
She broke into a smile among her tears.
I continued, "After looking at your Bazi, and now that I have seen you in person, I advise you to be more honest with me, or else I will not be able to help you. You have all along been a mistress to other men, and you dare to come crying to me that no man wanted to marry you? Didn't you also stole some money from them? The way I see you, you obviously have a money grubber face."
My advice to all swordsmen: If you wish to use your tears as a weapon in front of me, think thrice. Because if you are a hypocrite, I will definitely rip your mask apart.
how dare you girl 在 謙預 Qianyu.sg Facebook 的最佳解答
【上天為何會負你?】
Why Did Heaven Let You Down?
拼啊!!! 所以請問那個小數點是在第一個號碼後面嗎?😁
不說你不知,約八年前,我曾經銀行戶口裡只剩下新幣$0.83。因為之前的生意,資金周轉有困難,某日凌晨一點,我發簡訊向我媽借錢。那是我長了那麼大,生平第一次這麼做。發簡訊,因為我不敢打電話向我媽開口。
當時,我是整個家族裡的唯一一個大學生,每逢過年,長輩們都問我為什麼不找個安分守己的工作。在他們面前,我彷彿就是那個吊兒郎當的人妻,老公辛苦工作,我什麼都不成。我無法交代為何自己會那麼落魄,因為我也不懂。
那時,只覺得老天對我太不公平了。
小時候,父母做生意困難,長大後,卻輪到我繼承相同的命運。
小時後,在家常常接聽債主們的「奪命追魂call」。長大後,在外常常接到銀行的「快點還錢call」。所以到現在,雖早就沒欠債,我依然不喜歡聽電話,連發簡訊都不喜歡。
這也就是為什麼,我並沒有提供電話號碼給你們聯絡我。
那天,一位馬國的客人說:「老師,你的收費很貴!你賺很多錢!」
我氣定神閒的答:「我修來的。」
苦瓜吃了半輩子,也該輪到我修成正果了吧!妹妹,你為我開心,也能因隨喜而修來福報呀!
一個人不會平白無故失敗的。
你問我要怎麼鹹魚翻身,那我問你,你是否已經能夠赤裸裸的面對你的缺點呢?
我們會失敗,必定是被自己的缺點給絆倒的。
你能夠放下傲慢,接受你認為刺耳的話時,就是你迎接第二個春天的開始了。
缺點就是我們的盲點,也是讓我們折福造業的源頭。
你當真是做生意的,應該很厲害算。
我若說出你有哪二十個缺點,你可以選擇糾結生氣埋怨投訴,甚至向左鄰右舍、祖宗十八代數落我。你也可以選擇狠下心來,把那二十個缺點來個「七十二變」,變成你二十個嶄新的優點。
聰明的生意人,你算一下,長遠來說哪一宗交易比較賺錢?
然後再仔細想想,是上天負了你,還是因為你選擇視若無睹,而負了你自己?
我不認為你可以改,我不認為你還有成功的機會,我又何必冒著名譽和生命危險來「坦誠相對」呢?做壞人貪好玩meh?😂
我們可以是自己最大的貴人,也可以是我們最大的敵人,一切全在你一念之間。
大家修的福報和功德數量,一定要比你們的身份證號碼還長!比萬里長城更長!做個福德綿綿不絕的善人!
(圖片來源:不明網絡)
—————————————
Fight on! So excuse me, is the decimal point after the first number? 😁
You may not know this about me. About 8 years ago, I was so broke that I only have S$0.83 in my bank accounts. Because my previous business had cash flow problems, one night at 1am, I sent a SMS to my mum to borrow money from her. It was my first ever time doing that as a married adult. I sent the text message because I did not dare to call.
At that time, I was the only graduate in my entire clan. And every CNY, the elders would ask why I did not get a stable job. In their eyes, I was like that good-for-nothing married woman where the husband was toiling to make ends meet and me? Don’t know do what. I could not tell them how I ended up being so pathetic because even I myself didn’t know why.
I only felt Heaven was so unfair to me.
When I was a kid, my parents ran into difficulties managing their business. I sure did not expect myself to have the same destiny as them after I grew up.
As a little girl, I often answered calls from angry creditors at home. As an adult, I often received calls from the bank, snapping at my heels to pay up. So till now, even though I no longer owe the bank, I still do not like answering phone calls.
This is why I do not have any mobile number for you to contact me.
That day, a Malaysian client exclaimed, “Teacher, your fee is so expensive! You earn a lot of money!”
I replied calmly, “This is the fruit of my cultivation.”
Having reaped so many bitter fruits for the large part of my life, surely it should be my turn to enjoy some rewards. Sister, if you are happy for me, this virtuous thought will also earn you good fortune!
Nobody becomes a failure for no good reason.
You ask me how to rise from this lowest point in your life. Let me ask you this. Are you able to face your weaknesses squarely?
We fail because we are floundered by our weaknesses.
When you can squash your pride, and hear what you think are jarring words, that marks the beginning of your second Spring in life.
Our weaknesses are our blind spots, and the reason for our karmic transgressions and reduction in blessedness.
If you are a true businessman, you should be very shrewd in your calculations.
When I tell you the 20 weaknesses you have, you can choose to fly into a tantrum, grapple with the truth, bear grudges and complain about me to your neighbours and your ancestors of 18 generations.
You can also decisively transform that 20 weaknesses into your 20 brand new strengths!
Dear smart businessman, do your math and decide which makes a more profitable deal in the long run.
And then think over this, did Heaven let you down or did you let yourself down by turning your heart away from the obvious?
If I do not think you can change, if I do not think you still have a chance at success, why would I risk my reputation and my life to tell you the naked truth? You think it’s fun to be the b*tch? 😂
We can be our greatest benefactor and we also can be our greatest enemy. It’s all within that one thought.
May the amount of merits and good fortune you cultivate be as long as your IC number! What the heck! Let’s have it even longer than the Great Wall of China! Be a blessed person of endless good!
(Photo credit to its unknown Internet source)
how dare you girl 在 Jing Jing Beh 妗妗 Youtube 的精選貼文
#penanghokkien #nirvana
When discuss the arrangements for funeral,
did your been interrupted because of "touchwood"?
When your relatives pass away,
did you get into panic before?
As there is life,
so there must be death,
if pre-plan funeral arrangement with budget,
your relatives will less trouble and worries during your funeral.
Nirvana provides pre-planning funeral packages,
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installment for 60 months.
It is suitable for all religions and even no religion.
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In year 1998,
a rich man in Taiwan -- Cai Cheng died in a road accident,
at the age of eighty.
His wives disputed for his legacies.
None of them care for the rich man funeral.
His coffin been placed in residence for 7 years.
In most of the cultures,
discuss about death is a prohibition,
but death can not be avoided.
When you die? How you die?
You can not decide.
But you can decide your death wishes.
与亲友聊起身后事时,
你是否有被打断话题的困境?
过往面对亲人过世时,
你是否因此而曾经惊慌失措?
有生必有死,
这是每个活人都要面对的问题。
如能够在生前安排好自己的身后事,
做好该有的预算,
日后亲友为你办身后事,
就可以少了一点烦恼。
富贵山庄就提供了事前规划服务,
让你未雨绸缪,后顾无忧。
富贵山庄事前规划配套,
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1998年前,
台湾一名富商蔡诚
遇车祸身亡,享寿80岁。
在他往生后,大房二房起争执争遗产,
其丧礼不受理,
停柩民居7年至2006年,
富商才入土为安。
讨论身后事对在很多文化中是一个禁忌,
但事实上不应避开。
自己什么时候死亡?
或以什么形式死亡?
你可能不能决定,
但你却可决定自己死后的意愿。
Dare Dare Press ⬇️ 敢敢按下去
http://www.wasap.my/+60124638111
Nirvana Facebook Page
https://www.facebook.com/carolkang111
Carol Kang Facebook
https://www.facebook.com/carol.kang.790/
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Talent 演员:
Jing Jing 妗妗
https://www.instagram.com/jingjingbeh
How to speak Penang Hokkien? 如画讲槟城福建话?
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLfRlIk28_INunK5BfN4foae9C2hmxgT5t
Jing Jing Challenge 挑战
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLfRlIk28_INtvKfWE6R0LfpEx2RNesVql
how dare you girl 在 Jing Jing Beh 妗妗 Youtube 的最佳貼文
#penanghokkien #hurixs
Out of idea for your parent this Chinese New Year.
You may consider this.
HURIX’S Yan Wo Yang Shen Jing Plus,
a health supplement product which suitable for man and woman, nourishing from inside out.
❌ non-alcoholic
? natural honey
? 11 types of precious herbs,
include #BirdsNest, Radix Adenophora Tetraphylla, Radix Angelicae Sinensis,
Cortex Eucommia Ulmoides and other herbs.
Consume Hurix’s Yan Wo Yang Shen Jing Plus daily helps to
✅ strengthen the body
✅ improve vitality and relieve fatigue
✅ for difficulty in sleeping,
✅ headache and dizziness
✅ to expel wind
✅ improves blood circulation
✅ ideal for convalescence and post-delivery health care.
Dare Dare Press ⬇️ 敢敢按下去
https://shopee.com.my/product/17268512/180597679?smtt=0.17269848-1610954382.3
********************************************************
Talent 演员:
Jing Jing 妗妗
https://www.instagram.com/jingjingbeh
How to speak Penang Hokkien? 如画讲槟城福建话?
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLfRlIk28_INunK5BfN4foae9C2hmxgT5t
Jing Jing Challenge 挑战
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLfRlIk28_INtvKfWE6R0LfpEx2RNesVql
how dare you girl 在 Jing Jing Beh 妗妗 Youtube 的最佳解答
#thejingproductions #jingjingbeh #christmasgiftideas #primoshield
No idea for Christmas gift exchange??
Here's the best Christmas gift in 2020!
Spray on your belongings and protect you for 90 days
It works like "coating" on the surface of your items to avoid germs & bacteria attack.
Primo Shield - Protect your family, friends, and your pets!
Dare Dare Press ⬇️ 敢敢按下去
https://www.primo-shield.com/products/san-clean-advanced-hygienic-solution?ref=ZvaTHEBqr6N-g
********************************************************
Talent 演员:
Jing Jing 妗妗
https://www.instagram.com/jingjingbeh
How to speak Penang Hokkien? 如画讲槟城福建话?
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLfRlIk28_INunK5BfN4foae9C2hmxgT5t
Jing Jing Challenge 挑战
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLfRlIk28_INtvKfWE6R0LfpEx2RNesVql
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how dare you girl 在 "How dare you?" - Emotional Greta Thunberg attacks world ... 的推薦與評價
Environmental activist Greta Thunberg furiously attacked world leaders at the United Nations on Monday for not doing more to tackle climate ... ... <看更多>
how dare you girl 在 Greta Thunberg to World Leaders: 'How Dare You!' - YouTube 的推薦與評價
Sep.23 -- The 16-year-old environmental activist Greta Thunberg scolded heads of state at a United Nations summit on Monday, saying they're ... ... <看更多>