Nick and I attended a parenting workshop not long after Georgia was born. Lauren was 2 years old.
When presented with the 3 main parenting styles - authoritative, permissive and authoritarian. My immediate thought was that we were ‘authoritative’ - you know, a nice balance of being nurturing and firm with the rules, instead of being an ‘‘authoritarian’ which dictates everything our children do. What an idealistic new parent I was.
5 years on and I just read an article on @theasianparent on how parenting style can feed a child’s greatness (link: https://sg.theasianparent.com/types-of-parenting-styles) and out of the 6 parenting styles, I’m an Organic (free-range) parent. I believe in letting the kids learn independence and decision-making since young, perhaps stemming from how I was parented as a child.
My mother instilled in the spirit of independence in me while pushing for excellence in grades. After she passed away, my dad’s parenting style was pretty much uninvolved. But he trusted me to make my own judgements and quite frankly, to suffer consequences on my own. It made me the person I am today.
I’m still learning in my own parenting journey and while I’m consciously not pushing my children hard on grades, my tiger-mumness rears its head from time to time. It’s hard to avoid when you’re an Asian parent. Thousands of years of emphasis on education, since Imperial China - to be a 状元 (champion) is celebrated.
But don’t confuse education with schooling. Greatness in modern society doesn’t come only from good grades. Let’s not put the responsibility on schools. Every child is different. They are your children. To #feedtheirgreatness, we as parents play a big part.
Take an honest look - what is your parenting style?
