Green with envy.
So so happy today because Emma expressed her feelings to me. “Emma is angry” and I am so glad I am right there to parent her to way I want to be parented. I validated her feelings and asked why. Then she told me to not spill her tea, because that made her angry, and that feeling is completely fine.
We 90s kids grow up in an emotional oppressed environment. “You’re not supposed to be jealous”, “don’t cry, you look weak”, “don’t sing about your achievement, such a show off” just to name a few are what I was taught growing up. My parent were brought up this way too, because they didn’t have any choice or any information to tell them that there is another way to deal with it. But we do. And we can break the cycle. The traditional self oppressed Asian way of life.
The way you deal with your pain in a moment of trauma is not a direct reflection on your strength. Just because you are crumbling right now doesn’t mean you are weak. In fact, the strongest of us crumble, and the strongest of us know that pain is meant to be felt in full, or how else would you be able to let it go?
Because how else is one supposed to become a phoenix if they don’t allow themselves to burn first?
