📜 [專欄新文章] Uniswap v3 Features Explained in Depth
✍️ 田少谷 Shao
📥 歡迎投稿: https://medium.com/taipei-ethereum-meetup #徵技術分享文 #使用心得 #教學文 #medium
Once again the game-changing DEX 🦄 👑
Image source: https://uniswap.org/blog/uniswap-v3/
Outline
0. Intro1. Uniswap & AMM recap2. Ticks 3. Concentrated liquidity4. Range orders: reversible limit orders5. Impacts of v36. Conclusion
0. Intro
The announcement of Uniswap v3 is no doubt one of the most exciting news in the DeFi place recently 🔥🔥🔥
While most have talked about the impact v3 can potentially bring on the market, seldom explain the delicate implementation techniques to realize all those amazing features, such as concentrated liquidity, limit-order-like range orders, etc.
Since I’ve covered Uniswap v1 & v2 (if you happen to know Mandarin, here are v1 & v2), there’s no reason for me to not cover v3 as well ✅
Thus, this article aims to guide readers through Uniswap v3, based on their official whitepaper and examples made on the announcement page. However, one needs not to be an engineer, as not many codes are involved, nor a math major, as the math involved is definitely taught in your high school, to fully understand the following content 😊😊😊
If you really make it through but still don’t get shxt, feedbacks are welcomed! 🙏
There should be another article focusing on the codebase, so stay tuned and let’s get started with some background noise!
1. Uniswap & AMM recap
Before diving in, we have to first recap the uniqueness of Uniswap and compare it to traditional order book exchanges.
Uniswap v1 & v2 are a kind of AMMs (automated market marker) that follow the constant product equation x * y = k, with x & y stand for the amount of two tokens X and Y in a pool and k as a constant.
Comparing to order book exchanges, AMMs, such as the previous versions of Uniswap, offer quite a distinct user experience:
AMMs have pricing functions that offer the price for the two tokens, which make their users always price takers, while users of order book exchanges can be both makers or takers.
Uniswap as well as most AMMs have infinite liquidity¹, while order book exchanges don’t. The liquidity of Uniswap v1 & v2 is provided throughout the price range [0,∞]².
Uniswap as well as most AMMs have price slippage³ and it’s due to the pricing function, while there isn’t always price slippage on order book exchanges as long as an order is fulfilled within one tick.
In an order book, each price (whether in green or red) is a tick. Image source: https://ftx.com/trade/BTC-PERP
¹ though the price gets worse over time; AMM of constant sum such as mStable does not have infinite liquidity
² the range is in fact [-∞,∞], while a price in most cases won’t be negative
³ AMM of constant sum does not have price slippage
2. Tick
The whole innovation of Uniswap v3 starts from ticks.
For those unfamiliar with what is a tick:
Source: https://www.investopedia.com/terms/t/tick.asp
By slicing the price range [0,∞] into numerous granular ticks, trading on v3 is highly similar to trading on order book exchanges, with only three differences:
The price range of each tick is predefined by the system instead of being proposed by users.
Trades that happen within a tick still follows the pricing function of the AMM, while the equation has to be updated once the price crosses the tick.
Orders can be executed with any price within the price range, instead of being fulfilled at the same one price on order book exchanges.
With the tick design, Uniswap v3 possesses most of the merits of both AMM and an order book exchange! 💯💯💯
So, how is the price range of a tick decided?
This question is actually somewhat related to the tick explanation above: the minimum tick size for stocks trading above 1$ is one cent.
The underlying meaning of a tick size traditionally being one cent is that one cent (1% of 1$) is the basis point of price changes between ticks, ex: 1.02 — 1.01 = 0.1.
Uniswap v3 employs a similar idea: compared to the previous/next price, the price change should always be 0.01% = 1 basis point.
However, notice the difference is that in the traditional basis point, the price change is defined with subtraction, while here in Uniswap it’s division.
This is how price ranges of ticks are decided⁴:
Image source: https://uniswap.org/whitepaper-v3.pdf
With the above equation, the tick/price range can be recorded in the index form [i, i+1], instead of some crazy numbers such as 1.0001¹⁰⁰ = 1.0100496621.
As each price is the multiplication of 1.0001 of the previous price, the price change is always 1.0001 — 1 = 0.0001 = 0.01%.
For example, when i=1, p(1) = 1.0001; when i=2, p(2) = 1.00020001.
p(2) / p(1) = 1.00020001 / 1.0001 = 1.0001
See the connection between the traditional basis point 1 cent (=1% of 1$) and Uniswap v3’s basis point 0.01%?
Image source: https://tenor.com/view/coin-master-cool-gif-19748052
But sir, are prices really granular enough? There are many shitcoins with prices less than 0.000001$. Will such prices be covered as well?
Price range: max & min
To know if an extremely small price is covered or not, we have to figure out the max & min price range of v3 by looking into the spec: there is a int24 tick state variable in UniswapV3Pool.sol.
Image source: https://uniswap.org/whitepaper-v3.pdf
The reason for a signed integer int instead of an uint is that negative power represents prices less than 1 but greater than 0.
24 bits can cover the range between 1.0001 ^ (2²³ — 1) and 1.0001 ^ -(2)²³. Even Google cannot calculate such numbers, so allow me to offer smaller values to have a rough idea of the whole price range:
1.0001 ^ (2¹⁸) = 242,214,459,604.341
1.0001 ^ -(2¹⁷) = 0.000002031888943
I think it’s safe to say that with a int24 the range can cover > 99.99% of the prices of all assets in the universe 👌
⁴ For implementation concern, however, a square root is added to both sides of the equation.
How about finding out which tick does a price belong to?
Tick index from price
The answer to this question is rather easy, as we know that p(i) = 1.0001^i, simply takes a log with base 1.0001 on both sides of the equation⁴:
Image source: https://www.codecogs.com/latex/eqneditor.php
Let’s try this out, say we wanna find out the tick index of 1000000.
Image source: https://ncalculators.com/number-conversion/log-logarithm-calculator.htm
Now, 1.0001¹³⁸¹⁶² = 999,998.678087146. Voila!
⁵ This formula is also slightly modified to fit the real implementation usage.
3. Concentrated liquidity
Now that we know how ticks and price ranges are decided, let’s talk about how orders are executed in a tick, what is concentrated liquidity and how it enables v3 to compete with stablecoin-specialized DEXs (decentralized exchange), such as Curve, by improving the capital efficiency.
Concentrated liquidity means LPs (liquidity providers) can provide liquidity to any price range/tick at their wish, which causes the liquidity to be imbalanced in ticks.
As each tick has a different liquidity depth, the corresponding pricing function x * y = k also won’t be the same!
Each tick has its own liquidity depth. Image source: https://uniswap.org/blog/uniswap-v3/
Mmm… examples are always helpful for abstract descriptions 😂
Say the original pricing function is 100(x) * 1000(y) = 100000(k), with the price of X token 1000 / 100 = 10 and we’re now in the price range [9.08, 11.08].
If the liquidity of the price range [11.08, 13.08] is the same as [9.08, 11.08], we don’t have to modify the pricing function if the price goes from 10 to 11.08, which is the boundary between two ticks.
The price of X is 1052.63 / 95 = 11.08 when the equation is 1052.63 * 95 = 100000.
However, if the liquidity of the price range [11.08, 13.08] is two times that of the current range [9.08, 11.08], balances of x and y should be doubled, which makes the equation become 2105.26 * 220 = 400000, which is (1052.63 * 2) * (110 * 2) = (100000 * 2 * 2).
We can observe the following two points from the above example:
Trades always follow the pricing function x * y = k, while once the price crosses the current price range/tick, the liquidity/equation has to be updated.
√(x * y) = √k = L is how we represent the liquidity, as I say the liquidity of x * y = 400000 is two times the liquidity of x * y = 100000, as √(400000 / 100000) = 2.
What’s more, compared to liquidity on v1 & v2 is always spread across [0,∞], liquidity on v3 can be concentrated within certain price ranges and thus results in higher capital efficiency from traders’ swapping fees!
Let’s say if I provide liquidity in the range [1200, 2800], the capital efficiency will then be 4.24x higher than v2 with the range [0,∞] 😮😮😮 There’s a capital efficiency comparison calculator, make sure to try it out!
Image source: https://uniswap.org/blog/uniswap-v3/
It’s worth noticing that the concept of concentrated liquidity was proposed and already implemented by Kyper, prior to Uniswap, which is called Automated Price Reserve in their case.⁵
⁶ Thanks to Yenwen Feng for the information.
4. Range orders: reversible limit orders
As explained in the above section, LPs of v3 can provide liquidity to any price range/tick at their wish. Depending on the current price and the targeted price range, there are three scenarios:
current price < the targeted price range
current price > the targeted price range
current price belongs to the targeted price range
The first two scenarios are called range orders. They have unique characteristics and are essentially fee-earning reversible limit orders, which will be explained later.
The last case is the exact same liquidity providing mechanism as the previous versions: LPs provide liquidity in both tokens of the same value (= amount * price).
There’s also an identical product to the case: grid trading, a very powerful investment tool for a time of consolidation. Dunno what’s grid trading? Check out Binance’s explanation on this, as this topic won’t be covered!
In fact, LPs of Uniswap v1 & v2 are grid trading with a range of [0,∞] and the entry price as the baseline.
Range orders
To understand range orders, we’d have to first revisit how price is discovered on Uniswap with the equation x * y = k, for x & y stand for the amount of two tokens X and Y and k as a constant.
The price of X compared to Y is y / x, which means how many Y one can get for 1 unit of X, and vice versa the price of Y compared to X is x / y.
For the price of X to go up, y has to increase and x decrease.
With this pricing mechanism in mind, it’s example time!
Say an LP plans to place liquidity in the price range [15.625, 17.313], higher than the current price of X 10, when 100(x) * 1000(y) = 100000(k).
The price of X is 1250 / 80 = 15.625 when the equation is 80 * 1250 = 100000.
The price of X is 1315.789 / 76 = 17.313 when the equation is 76 * 1315.789 = 100000.
If now the price of X reaches 15.625, the only way for the price of X to go even higher is to further increase y and decrease x, which means exchanging a certain amount of X for Y.
Thus, to provide liquidity in the range [15.625, 17.313], an LP needs only to prepare 80 — 76 = 4 of X. If the price exceeds 17.313, all 4 X of the LP is swapped into 1315.789 — 1250 = 65.798 Y, and then the LP has nothing more to do with the pool, as his/her liquidity is drained.
What if the price stays in the range? It’s exactly what LPs would love to see, as they can earn swapping fees for all transactions in the range! Also, the balance of X will swing between [76, 80] and the balance of Y between [1250, 1315.789].
This might not be obvious, but the example above shows an interesting insight: if the liquidity of one token is provided, only when the token becomes more valuable will it be exchanged for the less valuable one.
…wut? 🤔
Remember that if 4 X is provided within [15.625, 17.313], only when the price of X goes up from 15.625 to 17.313 is 4 X gradually swapped into Y, the less valuable one!
What if the price of X drops back immediately after reaching 17.313? As X becomes less valuable, others are going to exchange Y for X.
The below image illustrates the scenario of DAI/USDC pair with a price range of [1.001, 1.002] well: the pool is always composed entirely of one token on both sides of the tick, while in the middle 1.001499⁶ is of both tokens.
Image source: https://uniswap.org/blog/uniswap-v3/
Similarly, to provide liquidity in a price range < current price, an LP has to prepare a certain amount of Y for others to exchange Y for X within the range.
To wrap up such an interesting feature, we know that:
Only one token is required for range orders.
Only when the current price is within the range of the range order can LP earn trading fees. This is the main reason why most people believe LPs of v3 have to monitor the price more actively to maximize their income, which also means that LPs of v3 have become arbitrageurs 🤯
I will be discussing more the impacts of v3 in 5. Impacts of v3.
⁷ 1.001499988 = √(1.0001 * 1.0002) is the geometric mean of 1.0001 and 1.0002. The implication is that the geometric mean of two prices is the average execution price within the range of the two prices.
Reversible limit orders
As the example in the last section demonstrates, if there is 4 X in range [15.625, 17.313], the 4 X will be completely converted into 65.798 Y when the price goes over 17.313.
We all know that a price can stay in a wide range such as [10, 11] for quite some time, while it’s unlikely so in a narrow range such as [15.625, 15.626].
Thus, if an LP provides liquidity in [15.625, 15.626], we can expect that once the price of X goes over 15.625 and immediately also 15.626, and does not drop back, all X are then forever converted into Y.
The concept of having a targeted price and the order will be executed after the price is crossed is exactly the concept of limit orders! The only difference is that if the range of a range order is not narrow enough, it’s highly possible that the conversion of tokens will be reverted once the price falls back to the range.
As price ranges follow the equation p(i) = 1.0001 ^ i, the range can be quite narrow and a range order can thus effectively serve as a limit order:
When i = 27490, 1.0001²⁷⁴⁹⁰ = 15.6248.⁸
When i = 27491, 1.0001²⁷⁴⁹¹ = 15.6264.⁸
A range of 0.0016 is not THAT narrow but can certainly satisfy most limit order use cases!
⁸ As mentioned previously in note #4, there is a square root in the equation of the price and index, thus the numbers here are for explantion only.
5. Impacts of v3
Higher capital efficiency, LPs become arbitrageurs… as v3 has made tons of radical changes, I’d like to summarize my personal takes of the impacts of v3:
Higher capital efficiency makes one of the most frequently considered indices in DeFi: TVL, total value locked, becomes less meaningful, as 1$ on Uniswap v3 might have the same effect as 100$ or even 2000$ on v2.
The ease of spot exchanging between spot exchanges used to be a huge advantage of spot markets over derivative markets. As LPs will take up the role of arbitrageurs and arbitraging is more likely to happen on v3 itself other than between DEXs, this gap is narrowed … to what extent? No idea though.
LP strategies and the aggregation of NFT of Uniswap v3 liquidity token are becoming the blue ocean for new DeFi startups: see Visor and Lixir. In fact, this might be the turning point for both DeFi and NFT: the two main reasons of blockchain going mainstream now come to the alignment of interest: solving the $$ problem 😏😏😏
In the right venue, which means a place where transaction fees are low enough, such as Optimism, we might see Algo trading firms coming in to share the market of designing LP strategies on Uniswap v3, as I believe Algo trading is way stronger than on-chain strategies or DAO voting to add liquidity that sort of thing.
After reading this article by Parsec.finance: The Dex to Rule Them All, I cannot help but wonder: maybe there is going to be centralized crypto exchanges adopting v3’s approach. The reason is that since orders of LPs in the same tick are executed pro-rata, the endless front-running speeding-competition issue in the Algo trading world, to some degree, is… solved? 🤔
Anyway, personal opinions can be biased and seriously wrong 🙈 I’m merely throwing out a sprat to catch a whale. Having a different voice? Leave your comment down below!
6. Conclusion
That was kinda tough, isn’t it? Glad you make it through here 🥂🥂🥂
There are actually many more details and also a huge section of Oracle yet to be covered. However, since this article is more about features and targeting normal DeFi users, I’ll leave those to the next one; hope there is one 😅
If you have any doubt or find any mistake, please feel free to reach out to me and I’d try to reply AFAP!
Stay tuned and in the meantime let’s wait and see how Uniswap v3 is again pioneering the innovation of DeFi 🌟
Uniswap v3 Features Explained in Depth was originally published in Taipei Ethereum Meetup on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.
👏 歡迎轉載分享鼓掌
your explanation is very helpful 在 謙預 Qianyu.sg Facebook 的精選貼文
【我與可惡麥克風的故事】(English writing below)
我的 Blue Yeti 麥克風只用來錄一年的有聲書就掛了,而且是死在錄音要開始時。
我先生到百勝樓的Swee Lee詢問時,也既是我們買那麥克風的店,店員說類似這樣的話:「哦,你用了差不多兩年了,也是時候了。」
這是什麼話啊?不會吧???
把麥克風送回美國維修不划算。我也不確定是否要再花$210買回同一個可能比我還早死的麥克風。
於是,我花了很多個晚上來讀網路評價和觀看Youtube影片。坦白說,做後製時,我是聽得出Blue Yeti 錄音很多不足的地方。唯有搭配Voicemeeter Banana這音響軟件一起錄音,音質才會好很多。但這軟件只能使用在Windows. 我也花了很多個夜晚才搜索到這方法。
這些陌生的科技對我這門外漢而言真的很累人。我不是只是個風水師嗎?怎麼在看這些器材的資料呢?
但為了能把師尊的有聲書做的更好,我還是一頭栽進去這令人匪夷所思的音響器材世界裡。堂堂一個資訊科技的碩士生,我先生卻完全無法幫上忙。都說了嘛,現在做女人不容易呀!
長話短說,後來我向 Sennheiser 買了個Neumann TLM102 的麥克風。今天,我購買了一台 Universal Audio Apollo Twin Duo Core。這些器材其實應該在四月時就買,但當時太忙而且舉棋不定,而最近器材的價錢都掉了幾百塊。
當初考慮了很多不同價格的麥格風和音頻接口。你知道的,只要一開始閱讀亞馬遜的網路評價和觀看Youtube影片時,就如同走進一間超大的糖果店,而裡頭的一塊巧克力可能就是自己一個星期的薪資,甚至一整個月的血......汗錢,
Sinamex員工的產品知識非常的好,人也很主動熱心。他示範了各品牌的音頻接口如 Apogee DUO, Audient and of course, Universal Audio。其實還沒踏進店裡時,我就已想買Universal Audio這品牌了。聽過店員的解說後,更慶幸沒有在網路上買Focusrite or Apogee。
據員工說,這 Universal Audio Apollo Twin 也是新加坡音樂創作者們 Dick Lee、 林俊傑、Jonathan Koh 許偉強和 Sydney Tan (2019年國慶慶典的音樂總監)。#六度分隔理論 #又與俊傑拉近一度
希望回到家後能夠學會如何操作這非同凡響的器材。我還需要到蘋果買個Thunderbolt電纜。這器材也適合用在Windows的電腦。
感謝師父做這次器材更新的大財主。
我有多次差一點又買回Blue Yeti,因為覺得這些科技太難懂,太麻煩了。但老娘怎麼說也是個新加坡人,怕輸怕死的血液在我身體流著,怎可能笨到同樣的錯誤犯兩次。😁
改變有時真的滿痛苦的,尤其是要花錢、花時間和花精神時,而偏偏這些資糧都不夠。說自己害怕改變,比說自己太驕傲太懶惰不要改變,來得好聽,因為前者能贏來同情,而後者則是輸給了命運。我們新加坡能夠有今天,絕對不是因為我們的建國一代一成不變,而是我們都願意去進步、去爭取、去拼搏、去吃苦。
這個國慶日,讓我們都不要忘記這股勇於嘗試和承擔的精神。新加坡,生日快樂,我以您為榮!謝謝您給予我和我家人的一切!🎉
......................
My Blue Yeti died after one year of weekly usage for audiobook recording, and it died just when our recording session was about to begin.
The Husband asked Swee Lee @ Bras Basah about it. That was where we bought the USB mic. The store staff said something like: “Oh you used for about two years. It’s about there already.”
I was like “what the duck”...
Sending the mic back to USA for repair doesn’t make financial sense. And I’m not sure I want to burn another $210 on a metal mic that is going to die before me.
So I spent nights reading online reviews and watching YouTube videos. To be honest, I hear a lot of inadequacies in the Blue Yeti recording. It only sounds better when I use it with Voicemeeter Banana, an audio application software that can only be used for Windows. Even that took me nights of Googling to find this solution.
It was exhausting. Thought I’m just a Feng Shui practitioner...why am I looking at mics and audio interfaces?
But for the sake of my Grandmaster’s audiobooks, I threw myself head first into this whole alien world of audio tech. The Husband, with a MASTERS in Information Technology, was of ZERO help. #toughbeingawomannowadays
Long story short, I bought a Neumann TLM102 from Sennheniser SG and today I purchased an Universal Audio Apollo Twin Duo Core. I was lucky because I should have bought all these in April, when my mic died but I was so busy with work and couldn’t decide what was most suitable. Then the prices went down by a couple of hundreds.
There were many mics and audio interfaces I was considering. You know how it’s like when you start reading Amazon reviews and watching YouTube videos. Macham like walking into a candy store where one piece of chocolate can cost you one week of salary, and some, your entire month of blood supply.
The Sinamex staff was very knowledgeable and helpful. He demonstrated the various audio interfaces like Apogee DUO, Audient and of course, Universal Audio. I had my eyes on UA even before I entered the store. After his explanation, I was glad I didn’t buy the Focusrite or Apogee.
According to the gentleman, the Universal Audio Apollo Twin is also used by Dick Lee, Lin Junjie, Jonathan Koh and Sydney Tan (NDP 2019 music director). #sixdegreelaw #onedegreeclosertoJJLin
I hope I can figure out how to operate this impressive machine back home. I still have to buy a Thunderbolt cable from Apple. This also works with Windows by the way.
All credit goes to Shifu, for being the generous man that lays out the moolah for both the mic and audio interface. He lets me decides what to buy because in his words, a high-level Master doesn't bother himself with all these. Only a low-level one will. Okay, fine, that's me. 😀
There were many times I almost went back to buy a Blue Yeti. It was too difficult and troublesome to figure out all these tech stuff. But hey, I’m a true blue Singaporean. The kiasu and kiasi blood run deep in my veins. How can I be so dumb to make the same mistake twice? 😁
Change can be really painful and uncomfortable, especially when it involves money, time and effort and all these 3 resources are scarce. It’s easier and socially more acceptable to say we are afraid of change, instead of saying we are too proud or too lazy to change. Because the former will win you sympathy while the latter will make you a loser to your own Destiny.
Singapore is where she is today not because of our resistance to change, but for our ready willingness to strive relentlessly, to fight, to endure the pains, etc.
As we celebrate our 54th National Day, let us not forget this spirit of bravado and the quest for new frontiers.
Happy birthday, Singapore! I am so proud to be a Singaporean and thank you for all that you have given me and my family!
your explanation is very helpful 在 神谷 えりな Facebook 的最讚貼文
お久しぶりです。
仮面女子の猪狩ともかです。
この度は沢山の方々にご心配をお掛けしてしまい、大変申し訳ありません。
私は4/11(水)に強風で倒れた看板の下敷きになってしまうという事故に遭いました。
その日は強風でした。ニュースになるくらい日本の各地でとても強い風が吹いていたそうです。
私はいつものように歩道を歩いていました。
突然強い風が吹き、建物の大きな看板が倒れてくるのがわかりました。
看板があまりに大きすぎてとっさに避けることはできませんでした。
気付けば看板の下敷きになっていました。
出せる精一杯の声を振り絞って「助けて…!」と口にしました。
その時はとにかく苦しく、早く楽になりたいという思いでした。
それからすぐのことだったと思います。
通行人の方が看板を持ち上げてくださって、救急車に運ばれました。
後から聞いたお話では、看板は建物の敷地を飛び越え歩道全体に覆いかぶさっていた状況だったそうです。
それから緊急手術を受け、ICU(集中治療室)に入院しました。
その後、HCU(高度治療室)を経て現在は一般病棟に入院中です。
主に負った怪我は、
・瞼裂傷
・頭部挫創
・骨折(脚、肋骨、胸椎、腰椎)
そして、
・脊髄損傷
その影響で両下肢麻痺。
私は歩くことはもちろん、自分の力で脚を動かすことすらできなくなってしまいました。
治る可能性は極めて低く、
今後、車椅子での生活を余儀なくされました。
体調・怪我は徐々に良くなり、今は自立した車椅子生活を送れるよう毎日リハビリに励んでいます。
退院は今から約3ヶ月後の予定です。
ずっと心配してくださっている皆さんにまずは早く「私、大丈夫だよ!」って言いたくてもどかしい日々が続きました。
でも私自身、状況を把握・受け入れるのに相当な時間が掛かりました。
なんて伝えたらいいんだろう?
私も時間をかけて受け入れたのに、いきなり【脊髄損傷】という事実を文字にして伝えたとき、応援してくださっている皆さんに更に悲しい思いをさせてしまうんじゃないか…。
自分自身が受け入れることに時間がかかったこと、ファンの皆さんに何とお伝えしたらいいか分からなかったこと、そんなことを考えていると、なかなか文章にまとめることができず、ご報告が遅くなってしまいました。
ごめんなさい。
きっと私自身、これから両下肢麻痺と付き合っていく生活について、知らないことがまだ沢山あると思います。
主治医から私への説明は、
「脚の感覚が戻るのには個人差があるので何とも言えません。とにかくリハビリを頑張ってね。」
とのことでした。
脊髄損傷について無知な私は、
「数ヶ月で治るのかな?」
「復帰のステージは笑顔でファンの皆さんに会いたい!」
「また始球式をやらせて頂ける機会があったら次こそノーバウンドで!」
なんて、ベッドの上で考えていました。
私には【脚が動かない】という未来が見えていなかったんです。
手術から数日後、父と姉と話しました。
姉「治ったら一緒にメットライフドーム行こうね!」
父「お父さんは甲子園も一緒に行きたいな。」
私「また始球式があるとしたらそれまでに治るかな!?」
父「車椅子でも投げられるんじゃないかな?」
私「えー、嫌だよ。治して投げる!」
父「…まぁ今はリハビリを頑張ろう。」
精神科医とも色々お話をしました。
突然 脊髄損傷で脚が動かなくなった患者に対しては、主治医と共に精神科医もつくそうです。
きっと家族や事務所、病院の先生方は私がショックを受けないように細心の注意を払ってくれていたと思います。
周りの反応や発言でだんだんと自分が思っているのと違うと感じたのは、HCUに移ってからのことでした。
その日は母と兄が面会時に来ていました。
本当のことを知ったら私は深くショックを受けるかもしれない。
でも覚悟を決めて質問をしました。
私「脚は治らない可能性の方が高いの?」
母「……うん。」
私「私に隠してた?」
兄「今はまず生きていく為に体調を戻さないとだから。」
私「そっか。」
母「でも先生はリハビリを頑張れば奇跡的に脚が動くこともあるって言ってたよ。それを信じて頑張ろう。」
私は歌も踊りも特別上手くはないけど、ステージに立ってライブをして楽しんでくださる皆さんの笑顔を見ると、またそれで自分が笑顔になって…
ファンの皆さんのおかげで“アイドルの猪狩ともか”でいることができる。
そんな時間が大好きです。
だからもちろん
【ステージ復帰】を目指していました。
でもこの事実を知って…
“歌って踊らなくなる時 = 卒業”
としか考えたことがなかった私は、踊れない猪狩ともかを想像することができなくて。
そんな状態の私に需要はあるのか。
いったい何ができるのか。
絶望しました。
事故に遭うまでこの先ずっと普通に歩けると思っていたし、踊れると思っていました。
急に脚が自由に動かせない、自分のものじゃなくなったような感覚になると思ってもいませんでした。
でも不思議と
“仮面女子としての活動を辞める”
という考えに至ったことは1度もありませんでした。
今後どうしたいか考えたときに
“車椅子の猪狩ともか”としての活動を
自然と想像している自分がいました。
そう思わせてくれたのは
支えてくれる周りの全ての人でした。
「車椅子に乗っていたって人を幸せにしたり喜ばせたり、誰かの希望になることは出来るよ。」
「ともちゃんは人を楽しませる、幸せにすることのできる子だから、どんな形であってもそれを続けてくれたら嬉しい。」
という家族の言葉。
「車椅子に乗って色んな場所行こうね!いっぱい遊ぼう!おばあちゃんになっても!!」
という友達からの言葉。
「その明るさで周りのリハビリ頑張っている皆さんのことも明るくしてください。みんなの光になってください。」
という先生の言葉。
「スタッフ全員、猪狩ともかと共にずっと活動していくって気持ちでいるよ。猪狩のやりたいことを叶えたいから何でも言ってね。」
という事務所からの言葉。
「どれだけ時間がかかっても待ってるから。いつでも戻ってこれるようにライブ盛り上げてステージ守るからね!」
というメンバーからの言葉。
そしてファンの皆さん。
劇場で黄色サイリウムや横断幕を掲げてくれて、回復祈願をしてくれたこと。
心を込めて千羽鶴(1209羽)を折ってくれたこと。
皆さんが一羽一羽心を込めて折ってくださったのと同じように、私もベッドの上で一羽一羽数えました。
#いがともちゃんがんばれ
という応援ツイートも見れる限り読ませて頂きました。
きっとハッシュタグがついていなくても心配や応援してくださる声が、たくさんあったと思います。
お手紙もたくさん受け取りました。
皆さんの温かさに何度も救われました。
夜にひとりで不安になったとき、皆さんの言葉が本当に救いでした。
皆さんの気持ちは確実に私に届いています。
心からありがとうございます。
私が大切な節目によく言う言葉、
【希望の光になりたい。】
こうなってしまった今もこの気持ちは変わりません。
脚が動かなくなっても、車椅子に乗りながらやりたいことはたくさんあります。
仮面女子の曲を作詞したいです。
ラジオや講演、司会など、お話する仕事をしたいです。
生きている限り埼玉西武ライオンズの応援をし続けていきたい、野球のお仕事をしたいです。
今回の事故を自分自身のために残すため、手記を本にしたいです。
挙げればキリがありません。
今までとは方向性は変わるけど、何かを発信していきたいという気持ちは何ひとつ変わりません。
そして最終的にはやっぱり、これは“神様の存在”とか“奇跡”という言葉になってしまいますが、脚が元通り動くようになって【アイドルとしてステージで踊りたい】です。
幸せなことに、待ってくれている人たちがたくさんいます。
このことが私の最大の励みになっています。
時間はかかるかもしれません。
元通りは無理かもしれません。
でも必ず笑顔で「久しぶり!」って元気な姿で皆さんに会いたいです。
事故があったあの日、まさか自分がこんな目に合うとは思っていなかったです。
家族も友達も、事務所のスタッフも、メンバーも、ファンの皆さんも、誰も思っていなかったでしょう。
あの日、たまたまあの時間に歩道を歩き、たまたま私が大きな看板の前を差し掛かったときに特別強い風が吹き、看板の下敷きになりました。
もし、看板の前に到着する前に、靴ヒモがほどけて直していたり、誰かから電話が鳴って歩みを止めてお話したり、喉が乾いて自動販売機で飲み物を買ったり、わずか数秒でも手前で何かをしていたら私は事故には遭っていませんでした。
もし、なんてことはないのは分かっているけれど、色んな偶然が重なって私の両脚は動かなくなってしまいました。
でも、命が助かりました。
目撃者のお話によると現場は酷い状況で、命が助かっただけでも有難い状況だったそうです。
私は生きています。
このことだけは何にも代えることのできない神様からのプレゼントだと思っています。
その分試練も与えられたけど、きっと越えられない試練は与えないはず。
よく、ドラマや映画で「明日何があるか分からない、今を大切にしよう。」という言葉を聞きます。
今までその言葉を大切にしてきたつもりではあったけど、改めて本当にその通りだと思います。
だからこれからどんなことがあっても、
向日葵のように上を向いて楽しくて幸せな人生を歩んでいく。
そして毎日を丁寧に大切に生きていきたい。
私は前を向いています。
もう心配しないでね。
これからも猪狩ともかを見守ってください。
そして一緒に歩んでいければ嬉しいです。
この先もずっと、よろしくお願いします。
It's been a long time.
It's also a masked girl igari.
I'm very sorry for worrying about so many people this time.
I was in an accident on 4/11 (Wed) that it was going to be the bottom of the sign that fell down with a strong wind.
It was a strong wind that day. It seems that there was a very strong wind in various places in Japan in the news.
I was walking on the sidewalk as usual.
I see that suddenly the strong wind blows, and the big sign of the building is falling down.
The sign was too big, so I couldn't avoid it quickly.
It was on the bottom of the restorative sign.
I said, " help me... with the best voice I can get.
At that time it was painful and I wanted to make it easier.
And I think it was right away.
A passerby was transported to an ambulance to lift up the sign.
From later on, it seems that the sign was covered in the whole sidewalk of the building.
Then I got an emergency surgery and I was hospitalized for ICU (Intensive Care room).
After that, I'm currently hospitalized in the general ward after the hcu (Advanced Treatment room).
The injury of the Lord is the one who is the one
Eyelid laceration
The head of the head
Fracture (legs, ribs, thoracic spine, lumbar vertebrae)
And then
Spinal damage
Due to the influence, both lower limb paralysis.
I couldn't even move my legs with my own power to walk.
The possibility of being cured is extremely low,
In the future, I have been forced to live in a wheelchair.
Health injuries gradually get better, and now I'm encouraging rehab to send an independent wheelchair life.
Discharge is about 3 months from now.
To all of you who have been worried about me, I wanted to say " I'm okay!" the days have continued.
But myself, it took a lot of time to figure out the situation.
What should I tell you?
I also accepted it in time, but when I told the fact that it was suddenly [spinal damage.... I'm going to make you feel even more sad....
I didn't know what to say to all my fans that I had time to accept it, and when I thought about it, I couldn't put it together in the writing, and I was late to report it. Yes.
I'm sorry.
I'm sure there's still a lot of things I don't know about the life that I'm going to get together with my lower limb paralysis.
My Doctor's explanation of me,
" I can't say it because there is individual difference in the sense of legs to return. Good luck with your rehab anyway."
That's what I was talking about.
I'm ignorant about spinal damage,
" I wonder if it will heal in a few months?"
" the stage of return is a smile and I miss you all my fans!"
" if you have a chance to be able to do the first pitch again, next is the no bound!"
What a thought on the bed.
I didn't see the future that [legs don't move]
A few days after the surgery, I talked to my father and sister.
Sister: " Let's go metlife dome together when it's healed!"
Father: " Dad wants to go with koshien too."
Me: " if there is another pitch ceremony, will it be cured by then!?"
Father: " I wonder if I can throw a wheelchair?"
Me: " eh, I hate it. Heal and throw!"
Father "... well now let's do our rehab."
I talked about a lot of things with psychiatrist.
It seems that there will also be a psychiatrist with a doctor for a patient who has suddenly lost his legs with spinal damage.
I bet the family, office, and hospital teachers paid close attention to me not to be shocked.
It's been a long time since I moved to hcu that I felt different from what I think about the reactions and remarks around me.
My mother and brother came to see me on that day.
I may be deeply shocked if I know the truth.
But I was prepared and asked a question.
Me: " legs are more likely not to be cured?"
Mother "...... yeah."
Me: " I hid it?"
Brother: " now I have to get back to life."
Me: " oh yeah."
Mother: " but the teacher said that if you go to rehab, you can miraculously move your legs. Let's do our best to believe it."
I don't even sing and dance special, but when I see everyone's smile that I'm going to stand on stage and enjoy it, I'm going to have a smile again...
Thanks to all the fans, I can be "idol igari"
I love time like that.
So of course
I was aiming for [stage return]
But know this fact...
"when you sing and don't dance = Graduation"
I've only thought about it, and I can't even imagine igari who can't dance.
Is there a demand for me in such a state?
What the hell can I do?
I'm desperate.
I thought I was going to be able to walk in a normal way until I was in an accident, and I thought I'd dance.
I can't move my legs freely, I never thought I'd feel like my own.
But wonder
"quitting activities as a masked girl"
I've never been to the idea of 1 degrees.
When you think about what to do in the future
Activities as "Wheelchair Igari"
I had myself that I imagine nature.
That made me think so
It was all the people around you who supported me.
" when you're in a wheelchair, you can make people happy or happy, and you can be someone's hope."
" I would be happy if you continue to do it in any form, because you are a child who can make you happy and happy."
The Word of the family.
" Let's go in a wheelchair and go all kinds of places! Let's play a lot! Even when I become an grandma!!"
A word from a friend.
" please light up all of you who are working hard on the rehabilitation around you with its brightness. Be the light of everyone."
The Word of the teacher.
" I feel like I'm going to work all the time with the whole staff, igari. Say anything you want igari to do."
Words from the office.
" I'm waiting for how long it takes. I'll make a live show and protect the stage so I can come back anytime!"
A word from a member.
And all the fans.
What a prayer and prayer for holding yellow thanos and banner at the theater.
It's been a long time since I've been in the middle of a paper cranes.
Just as you all broke with one feather, I also counted one feather on the bed.
#いがともちゃんがんばれ
I was able to read it as long as I can see the cheering tweet.
I think there was a lot of voices that were worried and cheering on me even if I didn't have a hashtag.
I received a lot of letters.
I've been saved by your warmth many times.
When I was anxious at night, everyone's words were truly saved.
Everyone's feelings are definitely delivered to me.
Thank you very much from the heart.
Words that I often say to a milestone that is important,
[I want to be the light of hope.]
This feeling doesn't change even now.
There's a lot of things I want to do while riding a wheelchair even if my legs aren't moving.
I'd like to write a song of a masked girl.
I want to do a job to talk about radio, lecture, emcee, etc.
I want to keep supporting saitama seibu lions as long as I live, I want to do a baseball job.
I want to book a note to leave this accident for myself.
There is no got.
The direction is changing until now, but the feeling that I want to send something is not changed.
And in the end, this is the word " God's presence " and " miracle but the legs are moving back, and I want to dance on stage as an idol.
Happiness, there are a lot of people who are waiting for you.
This is my biggest encouragement.
It may take some time.
You may not be able to get back to it.
But I'm sure to smile, " it's been a while!" I want to see you all in a good way.
That day when there was an accident, I didn't think I'd ever see this.
No family, no friends, no office staff, no members, no fans, no one would have thought.
On that day, I happened to walk on the sidewalk at that time, and it happened to be a special strong wind when I was in front of the big sign, and it turned out to be a sign of the sign.
If the shoe pimp is untied and fixed before I arrive before the sign, someone calls me to stop walking and talk, thirsty and buy drinks on vending machines, just a few seconds I wasn't in an accident if I was doing something in front of me.
I know it's not a thing, but there's a lot of coincidences, and my legs aren't moving.
But my life was helpful.
According to the witnesses, the site was a terrible situation, and it seems that it was a good situation to be able to save life.
I'm alive.
I think this is a present from God who can't replace anything.
I was given a test, but I'm sure I won't give you a test that can't be crossed.
I often hear the word " I don't know what tomorrow is tomorrow, I will take care of it."
I was going to take care of the word until now, but I think it's really true.
So no matter what it is from now on,
Looking up like a sunflower and walking in a fun and happy life.
And I want to live every day carefully and cherish.
I'm looking forward.
Don't worry about it anymore.
From now on, please watch over igari too.
And I would be happy if I could walk with you.
Thank you very much for your continued support.Translated