「最終,我們的選擇,決定了我們是什麼樣的人。」-- 貝佐斯, 亞馬遜創辦人
有選擇障礙症,或是常常懊悔自己的選擇的人,這本書會是一個很棒的輔助工具!(據說之後會有中文版)
身為心理師,同時也在軍中待過的作者,看過無數的人在面對抉擇時的困難。有些人因為害怕做錯決定,或是冒犯他人而不願做選擇 (結果因為他人為他做決定而生悶氣),或是有人想做決定但是似乎感到迷惘(活在一個似乎有無數多選擇的世界裡,每個選擇好似都在呼喚我們的注意力,真的很多人會有選擇障礙症啊!),也有人因著做錯選擇,而進入到一種不再相信自己的無限輪迴狀態。
心理師的他,深入簡出的剖析了人的情緒反應,清楚的說明我們該如何看待情緒,作為一個警報系統但不能把它當成指揮系統。而在軍中待過的他,根據這樣的情境發展出一套因應的戰略。雖然我們日常中似乎要做許多的決定,但大部分的決定與其快還不如專注在決策的品質上。當我們有意識的願意靜下來好好思考我們的決策模式時,真的可以讓我們在生活中各個層面的決策品質越來越好。用“戰略”或是“謀略”來形容決策方式,好像有點浮誇。當然並不是所有的決策都需要這麼慎重看待,不過人生一定會有許多重大的決策,或是重要的關係,會因著我們反應的方式而決定他變好或變壞,因此如果有一個簡單的框架,好像讓我們在手上的資訊中整理出一個大方向,其實反而會讓這個決策的過程輕省而且放心許多。
孫子:『謀無術則成事難,術無謀則必敗。』 (” Strategy without tactics is the slowest route to victory. Tactics without strategy is the noise before defeat.”)
書中有許多實際的例子,所以很可以知道如何應用在生活當中。但再好的意圖或是想法,最終還是要付諸行動。書中最後的部分講到的就是勇氣,以及如果做出不好決策時如何調適自己。每個人都有許多成長的空間,並非都是可以一蹴可及的。先是決定要進步,再來就是不斷的反覆練習到精熟,相信每個人都可以是自己人生中的選擇高手。
"A hero is someone who, in spite of weakness, doubt, or not always knowing the answers, goes ahead and overcomes anyway" -- Christopher Reeve
(真正的英雄,是即便在軟弱時,懷疑時,或是不確定答案為何時,仍然勇往直前並且勝過挑戰的人 -- 克里斯多夫李維, “超人”演員,克服身障的生命鬥士)
全文和相關圖片在部落格中👇👇👇
https://dushuyizhi.net/choose-better-做個選擇高手/
#ChooseBetter #選擇障礙症 #DrTimothyYen
生命鬥士例子 在 Eric's English Lounge Facebook 的精選貼文
[翻轉視界 8]逃離禁錮之地:離開北韓我學會自由與憐憫
“If you don't know the words, that means you don't understand the concept, and therefore, you don't even realize that concept is even a possibility.” —— human rights activist Yeonmi Park。
「如果你不知道某些詞彙,那就意味著你並不了解某些概念,因此你也不會意識到,那些概念可以是一種可能。」——人權鬥士朴延美
對出逃前的她而言,自由與溫飽是很奢侈的理念,更無法了解「愛」的全貌。當我們無法得知世界發生了什麼,無法想像那超越自身認知的世界,我們便無法真正地同理他人。今天我想邀請大家,以不同的角度,重新感受自由、溫飽與愛的可貴。
★★★★★★★★★★★★
I was born in 1993 in the northern part of North Korea, in a town called Hyesan, which is on the border with China. I had loving parents and one older sister. Before I was even 10 years old, my father was sent to a labor camp for engaging in illegal trading. Now, by "illegal trading" -- he was selling clogs, sugar, rice and later copper to feed us. In 2007, my sister and I decided to escape. She was 16 years old, and I was 13 years old.
1. on the border with 鄰近邊界
2. labor camp 勞改營
3. illegal trading 非法的交易
1993年我出生在北韓的北部,一個名叫惠山的小鎮,鄰近中國邊界。我有愛我的父母與一位姐姐。在我10歲大的時候,父親就被送去勞改營,因為他非法買賣一些東西。所謂的非法買賣,其實他是賣一些木鞋、糖、米,之後還賣了銅,只為了餵飽我們。2007年,姐姐和我決定逃跑。她當時16歲,而我13歲。
★★★★★★★★★★★★
I need you to understand what the word "escape" means in the context of North Korea. We were all starving, and hunger means death in North Korea. So it was the only option for us. I didn't even understand the concept of escape, but I could see the lights from China at night, and I wondered if I go where the light is, I might be able to find a bowl of rice. It's not like we had a grand plan or maps. We did not know anything about what was going to happen. Imagine your apartment building caught fire. I mean, what would you do? Would you stay there to be burned, or would you jump off out of the window and see what happens? That's what we did. We jumped out of the house instead of the fire.
4. in the context of 在⋯⋯的情境中
5. concept 概念;觀念;思想
6. a grand plan 一個遠大的計畫
7. catch fire 著火
你們要知道,「逃跑」這兩字在北韓意味著什麼。我們天天挨餓,而飢餓在北韓意味著死亡。所以逃跑是我們唯一的選擇。我當時還不了解逃跑是什麼意思,但晚上我能看見中國那邊的燈光,我想著如果我能到有光的地方,也許就能找到一碗飯。我們沒有什麼遠大的計畫或地圖。我們完全不知道,接下來會發生什麼事。想像一下,你的公寓失火了,你會怎麼辦?你會坐以待斃,還是跳窗然後再看著辦?我們就是那樣。我們從大樓上跳了下來, 而不是等火燒上來。
★★★★★★★★★★★★
North Korea is unimaginable. It's very hard for me when people ask me what it feels like to live there. To be honest, I tell you: you can't even imagine it. The words in any language can't describe, because it's a totally different planet, as you cannot imagine your life on Mars right now. For example, the word "love" has only one meaning: love for the Dear Leader. There's no concept of romantic love in North Korea. And if you don't know the words, that means you don't understand the concept, and therefore, you don't even realize that concept is even a possibility.
8. unimaginable 無法想像
9. no concept of... 沒有⋯的概念
10. romantic love 浪漫愛
北韓是難以想像的。對我來說,要回答住在北韓是什麼感覺,非常困難。老實說,我可以告訴各位——你無從想像。沒有任何語言可以描述,因為那是個截然不同的星球,就像你現在無法想像自己在火星上的生活一樣。比如說,「愛」只有一個意思:愛偉大的領袖。在北韓沒有那種浪漫之愛的概念。如果你不知道某些詞彙,那就意味著你並不了解某些概念,因此你也不會意識到,那些概念可以是一種可能。
★★★★★★★★★★★★
Let me give you another example. Growing up in North Korea, we truly believed that our Dear Leader is an almighty god who can even read my thoughts. I was even afraid to think in North Korea. We are told that he's starving for us, and he's working tirelessly for us, and my heart just broke for him. When I escaped to South Korea, people told me that he was actually a dictator, he had cars, many, many resorts, and he had an ultraluxurious life. And then I remember looking at a picture of him, realizing for the first time that he is the largest guy in the picture. And it hit me. Finally, I realized he wasn't starving. But I was never able to see that before, until someone told me that he was fat.
11. an almighty god 一個全能的神
12. tirelessly 不屈不撓地;堅忍地
13. a dictator 獨裁者
14. it hit me 突然想到、意識到 
15. resort 度假地(此處係指北韓獨裁者有很多度假別墅)
16. ultraluxurious 極其奢華的
17. have a…life 過著⋯⋯的生活
讓我再舉一個例子。在北韓長大,我們真心相信我們偉大的領袖是全能的神,他甚至能看穿我在想什麼。我在北韓甚至不敢思考。我們聽說他為我們挨餓、不眠不休地為我們工作,而我為此感到心痛。我逃到南韓後,有人跟我說他其實是獨裁者,他有很多車、很多很多渡假別墅,他的生活極為奢華。我記得自己看著一張有他的照片,第一次意識到他是照片裡體型最大的那個。這件事讓我大受打擊。那時我才終於了解,他沒有挨餓。但我以前總無法看清這些,直到有人跟我說他很胖,我才恍然大悟。
★★★★★★★★★★★★
Really, someone had to teach me that he was fat. If you have never practiced critical thinking, then you simply see what you're told to see. The biggest question also people ask me is: "Why is there no revolution inside North Korea? Are we dumb? Why is there no revolution for 70 years of this oppression?" And I say: If you don't know you're a slave, if you don't know you're isolated or oppressed, how do you fight to be free? I mean, if you know you're isolated, that means you are not isolated. Not knowing is the true definition of isolation, and that's why I never knew I was isolated when I was in North Korea. I literally thought I was in the center of the universe.
18. critical thinking 批判性思考
19. revolution 革命
20. dumb 愚蠢的*
21. oppression 壓迫;壓制;欺壓
22. isolated and oppressed 與世隔絕的與被壓迫的
真的,要有人教我,他這樣叫做胖。如果你沒學過批判性思考,你看到的就只會是別人跟你說的。其他人對我提出的大哉問還有:「為何北韓沒有革命?我們傻嗎?為何歷經70年的壓迫,卻沒人發動革命?」我回答:「如果你不知道自己是奴隸,不知道自己被與世隔絕、壓迫,你要如何為自由而戰?我的意思是,如果你知道自己被與世隔絕,那就表示你並非真的與世隔絕。與世隔絕的真正定義是無知,所以我從不知道,在北韓的我與世隔絕。我真的以為我們是宇宙的中心。
*dumb: https://bit.ly/3fG5XOk
★★★★★★★★★★★★
So here is my idea worth spreading: a lot of people think humans inherently know what is right and wrong, the difference between justice and injustice, what we deserve and we don't deserve. I tell them: BS. Everything, everything must be taught, including compassion. If I see someone dying on the street right now, I will do anything to save that person. But when I was in North Korea, I saw people dying and dead on the streets. I felt nothing. Not because I'm a psychopath, but because I never learned the concept of compassion. Only, I felt compassion, empathy and sympathy in my heart after I learned the word "compassion" and the concept, and I feel them now.
23. inherently 與生俱來地
24. justice and injustice 正義與不義
25. psychopath 精神病患者
26. compassion, empathy and sympathy 憐憫、同理與同情*
我覺得值得分享的想法是:很多人以為,人類生來就能分辨是非對錯,懂得正義與邪惡的差別,我們值得被怎樣對待。我跟他們說:放屁。所有的事,所有的事都得經過教導,包含憐憫。如果我現在看見有人在路邊奄奄一息,我會不顧一切來救他。但我在北韓的時候,會眼睜睜看著有人橫死街頭,卻沒有任何感覺。並非因為我是心理病態,而是我從未學過憐憫的概念。只有在我的內心感受到憐憫、同理與同情,我才學會「憐憫」一詞與其概念,而如今我已能感受到這些。
*compassion: a strong feeling of sympathy and sadness for the suffering or bad luck of others and a wish to help them
empathy: the ability to share someone else's feelings or experiences by imagining what it would be like to be in that person's situation
sympathy: (an expression of) understanding and care for someone else's suffering
★★★★★★★★★★★★
Now I live in the United States as a free person.
現在我以自由人的身分住在美國。
★★★★★★★★★★★★
And recently, the leader of the free country, our President Trump, met with my former god. And he decided human rights is not important enough to include in his agendas, and he did not talk about it. And it scares me. We live in a world right now where a dictator can be praised for executing his uncle, for killing his half brother, killing thousands of North Koreans. And that was worthy of praise. And also it made me think: perhaps we all need to be taught something new about freedom now. Freedom is fragile. I don't want to alarm you, but it is. It only took three generations to make North Korea into George Orwell's "1984." It took only three generations. If we don't fight for human rights for the people who are oppressed right now who don't have a voice, as free people here, who will fight for us when we are not free? Machines? Animals? I don't know.
27. agenda 議程
28. be praised for 因⋯⋯獲得讚揚
29. execute (v.) 處決
30. worthy of sth 適合某物或具有某物的特徵
31. fragile 脆弱
最近,自由國度的領袖,我們的川普總統,和我以前的神會面。他認定,人權沒那麼重要,不需排進議程中,所以對此他隻字不提。這嚇壞我了。我們竟身在一個獨裁者處決伯父還能獲得讚揚的世界裡,他殺害同父異母的哥哥、殺害成千上萬的北韓人民,竟還能得到讚揚。這不禁使我開始思考,也許我們現在都要學習自由的新涵義。自由很脆弱。我不想嚇你,但事實如此。短短三個世代,就讓北韓淪為喬治.歐威爾筆下的《1984》。只花了三個世代。如果我們不為人權而戰,不為受壓迫、不為無法發聲的人而戰,當身為自由人的我們不自由時,誰還願意為我們而戰?機器嗎?動物嗎?我不知道。
★★★★★★★★★★★★
I think it's wonderful that we care about climate change, animal rights, gender equality, all of these things. The fact that we care about animals' rights, that means that's how beautiful our heart is, that we care about someone who cannot speak for themselves. And North Koreans right now cannot speak for themselves. They don't have internet in the 21st century. We don't have electricity, and it is the darkest place on earth right now. Now I want to say something to my fellow North Koreans who are living in that darkness. They might not believe this, but I want to tell them that an alternative life is possible. Be free.
32. speak for oneself 為某人發聲
33. alternative life 另一種生活
我覺得我們能關心氣候變遷、動物權益、性別平等諸如此類之事,真的很美好。因為,我們關心動物權益,就代表了我們的心地有多善良,也代表我們關心無法為自己發聲的對象。北韓人民現在無法為自己發聲。身處21世紀的他們,沒有網路可用。我們沒有電,那裡是當今地球上最暗的地方。現在我想告訴那些生活在北韓黑暗中的同胞。也許他們不會相信我,但我想告訴他們,生命仍有其他可能——意即自由的生活。
★★★★★★★★★★★★
From my experience, literally anything is possible. I was bought, I was sold as a slave. But now I'm here, and that is why I believe in miracles. The one thing that I learned from history is that nothing is forever in this world. And that is why we have every reason to be hopeful. Thank you.
34. slave 奴隸
35. miracle 奇蹟
就我的經驗,真的什麼事都有可能發生。我被人買走,賣給別人當奴隸。但我現在在這裡,這也就是為什麼我相信奇蹟。我從歷史上學到的一件事,就是世上沒有什麼是永恆的。而這也是我們無論如何都能懷有希望的原因。謝謝大家。
資訊出處:https://bit.ly/32p5HiK
圖片出處:https://bit.ly/32n2zEe
★★★★★★★★★★★★
如何增進同理心:https://bit.ly/34qSKnC
#ChangingPerspectives
#翻轉視界
★★★★★★★★★★★★
翻轉視界系列文章: https://bit.ly/3fPvKUs
生命鬥士例子 在 紀錄觀點 Facebook 的精選貼文
#17年前的今天 #和平醫院封院 2003年4月24日
『把我們叫英雄很沈重,我們是人,我們是社會的人。我們願意當有戰備的鬥士,可以去幫助、去醫護病人。』
台北市立和平醫院因爆發SARS群聚感染,因此被無預警宣布封院,要求全院 900 多位醫護人員,立刻返院隔離,200 多位住院病患集中治療,總計約 1200 人被鎖在醫院鐵門內。然而缺乏完整的配套措施,防護衣不足,部份醫護人員,僅能穿著簡便雨衣及口罩。
面對這樣的困境,醫院工作人員的恐懼不亞於一般民眾,甚至有護士嘗試強行穿越封鎖線想對外求援。
封院隔離結束後,和平醫院有員工57人感染、7人死亡;院內民眾97人感染、24人死亡,其中1人是自殺。
前事不忘,後事之師。我們重新上傳《#穿越和平》與《#和平風暴》兩部紀錄片(#英文字幕已上線)完整記錄 #SARS 疫情前後因果,還原和平醫院封院事件,讓我們回頭審視那段歷史。
病毒並不恐怖,恐怖的是利益取向的社會結構,以及人性對未知事物的軟弱反應。『和平封院』這個屬於台灣人的集體恐懼--「把這些人全部關起來,不關起來大家都會受害。」就是最好的例子。
🙏感謝守護生命的醫院醫護人員、看護、洗衣員、清潔員。
#中文版全片線上看
🎥《和平風暴》:https://youtu.be/sfsaCHyMuwY
🎥《穿越和平》:https://youtu.be/TIcBEOEzYno
🔍 SARS記憶事件簿:https://bit.ly/34CjIbV
🔍 穿越和平事件簿:https://bit.ly/3b8pzbG
#英文字幕上線
#歡迎分享
▍《和平風暴》 Hoping Hospital: bring back the SARS coronavirus memories in Taiwan
🎥Youtube ▶▶https://youtu.be/A-MSRD0lUsI
🔍InfoPage▶▶https://bit.ly/34CjIbV
▍《穿越和平》 An Exposure of the SARS-Affected Hospital: A Memoir of the SARS coronavirus Crisis in Taiwan
🎥Youtube ▶▶https://youtu.be/rKhfHhM2Kn8
🔍InfoPage▶▶https://bit.ly/3b8pzbG
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