#英式說話藝術【如何以英式幽默回應被丟雞蛋】
【明報專訊】政府官員或政客遇到示威，被丟雞蛋雜物番茄臭鞋水彈，除了板起面孔說非常憤概、人神共怒、一定要強烈譴責、依法嚴懲、要官員交報告之外，仲可以點樣保持身份地位格調地回應？
遇到這一些many consider to be uncivilized or undercivilized的行為，最差的回應方法，是氣急敗壞的痛罵，或板起面孔嚴斥。高手的回應手法，in Uncle Siu’s humble opinion，is to show that you’re above it - that you’re too civilized and cultured to be offended by it. And use humour.
美國前總統George W Bush七年前在記者會被伊拉克記者丟臭鞋後，just seconds after ducking and dodging the shoes，他說：If you want some facts, it’s a size 10 shoe that he threw. 雖然是美國人，但頗有英式幽默的味道。
英國那邊呢？前工黨leader Ed Miliband被掉雞蛋，他輕描淡寫的道：I’ve always been looking for new ways to connect with voters. 輕鬆、幽默、正面，是個好好的示範。蕭叔叔看過最搞笑的回應，是美國前加州州長阿諾舒華辛力加，被掉雞蛋後，他說：This guy owes me bacon。
另外，倫敦市長Boris Johnson早幾天在保守黨的party conference場地外遇到示威者，被丟水彈雞蛋，沒被丟中，之後他在conference內演講說：
As I came into the conference area yesterday we had to go through a kind of Khyber pass with protestors on either side hurling eggs and water bombs. Perhaps some of you had the same experience. Were we intimidated? No. Will we give up our plans to take this country forward? No. Will we surrender to the hard-left agitators – supported by Jeremy Corbyn – who believe in these tactics and want to divide this society? No. In fact I drew only one conclusion – that we need to do more to encourage sport in schools, because they managed to miss their target with every projectile.
絕妙的回應，幽默、搞笑，表達自己 not offended，not affected，仲有閒情串對方眼界差。這就是高手。這位市長先生，經常妙語連珠，想學習英式說話藝術的朋友，不妨多留意他。
蕭愷一
作者簡介：蕭愷一，AKA蕭叔叔。夢想做男神，現實是大叔的英文教學狂熱份子，law grad，哲學碩士dropout，語言學愛好者。以 speak English like an educated native 為教與學的終極目標。Facebook.com/unclesiu
Photo credit: Mirror Online
