下午上完了這學年最後一堂英文作文(二)的課,又過了一年。教了十多年的英作,今年這一班學習的態度認真而上進,實在是很讓人喜歡的一個班。
從上學期段落式的topic sentence(主題句),到最後整篇文章的thesis statement,不管大家寫得多痛苦,我們走過來了。但是其實英文作文最難的部份追根究底還是主題句,我不確定中文作文有沒有類似的掌控段落的概念。但如果能夠把主題句寫好,段落就不會有問題;能夠將thesis statement寫好,全文就能連貫而一統。因為主題句就是為了控制我們的思路,將我們所有的想法和論點控制在一個數十到數百字段落的範圍裡。因此,主題句的組成,是你想談的主題加上「一個」論點。之所以將「一個」標上引號,正是主題句的重點之一:一個主題句只能有一個論點,也就是說一個段落只針對一個單一論點來談。而主題句的功用,正是讓我們去組織和統合我們的論點,讓我們不會離題,讓我們的思想前後連貫。因此,主題句的論點(argument),又被稱為controlling idea或focus,因為它管控著我們的思路,凝聚著我們的焦點。這個argument/controlling idea/focus如果能夠寫好,那這個段落就能夠寫得順暢,因為,我們唯一要做的事,就只是去支持和解釋我們的論點。比如「Cell phones are indispensable business tools」這個主題句,cell phones是主題,而它是indispensable business tools是argument,所以這個段落唯一要做的是就只需要在下面解釋為何行動電話做為business tools(被限定範圍)是不可或缺的就好了。而同樣的主題,也會因為論點的不同,而產生不同的段落。像是同樣以cell phones當主題的話,如果寫了「Cell phones are annoying gadgets」的話,那這個段落就變成作者要解釋為何行動電話會如此地惱人了。
不過,也必須要有一個好的argument,才能讓文章和段落能夠順利發展。比如如果主題句是「Too many people treat animals badly in experiments」,雖然可以猜出要談的是動物被不當用於實驗中,但因為沒有寫出What people? Badly how? What kinds of experiments?,因此段落的發展就會沒有方向。因此給它argument就是給它focus,如果將哪些人,什麼樣的壞和什麼樣的實驗加入的話,我們可以寫成:「The cosmetic industry often harms animals in unnecessary experiments designed to test products」。在這樣的主題句之下,我們下面寫起來就簡單了。和讀者解釋化妝品產業為了測試產品對動物做哪些不必要的實驗,又為何沒必要,簡單、清楚而明瞭。
而在最後幾個禮拜的進度裡,關於文章中的語氣(tone)所要避免的問題,也是台灣最常見的。像是「invective」,也就是以指責和輕視的方式行文:「智力測驗的時候到了」、「智商低才會相信」、「這個文章只有小學生程度」之類的,不以理性論述來說服讀者的文章;或是「flippancy or cuteness」,在文章中油腔滑調:「好開心啊 哈哈」;「sentimentality」,不用證據和理性論點說服讀者,卻用「My dog, Cuddles, is the sweetest, cutest, most precious little puppy dog in the whole world, and she will always be my best friend」這種cheap emotion等。
至於結尾,還有一個常見的問題是either/or,也就是如果你不認同我,你就是無知/錯誤/自私/沒品味的人的寫法。這個寫法在網路文章中最常看到的,就是如果你沒吃過xxx,就別說你真的吃過xxx。
照片從左到右是我常用的英作教材,按程度高低,最左邊是句型練習、中間是段落練習,而最右邊則是從段落到寫作細節與各類文體的英作專書。
「emotion sentence」的推薦目錄:
- 關於emotion sentence 在 食之兵法: 鞭神老師的料理研究 The Culinary Art of War Facebook 的精選貼文
- 關於emotion sentence 在 鄭家朗 Isaac Cheng Facebook 的最讚貼文
- 關於emotion sentence 在 Tommy Cheung 張秀賢 Facebook 的最佳貼文
- 關於emotion sentence 在 Emotion sentences (Year 3) - YouTube 的評價
- 關於emotion sentence 在 Can you begin a sentence with an emotion? - English ... 的評價
- 關於emotion sentence 在 Emotional score of sentences using Spacy - Stack Overflow 的評價
emotion sentence 在 鄭家朗 Isaac Cheng Facebook 的最讚貼文
//此刻,我想提醒生活在黑暗的人,不要習慣黑暗,也不要因為習慣而為黑暗辯解,甚至倒過來嘲笑那些尋找光明的人。
此刻,我要跟同行者分享,入獄不會是句號,也絕不應該是句號。在爭取公義的路上,今天的判決可以是逗號、分號,甚至是問號、感歎號,但肯定不是句號。
此刻,我想警告威權政府,即使你們殺掉所有公鷄,也無法阻止晨曦的到來。//
—————— 邵家臻
《執拗的低音:邵家臻入獄前的自白》
各位:
大家看到這影片時,我已被裁定有罪及被送入監倉,傳媒對此有不少報導,我也想自我報導一下。在這七分鐘的影片中,為何參加佔中、聆訊過程中的感受、以及對佔中後的香港的想法,是我希望大家透過這影片,再一次去明白一個抗爭者的血肉故事,我會盡量做好自己,亦希望您們繼續守護香港。稍後見。
邵家臻
2019年4月25日
====================
‘A Statement by SHIU Ka Chun’
Dear all,
When you see this video,I have been sentenced eight months behind bars. Though there are some related news report, I want to report it by myself. During this 7mins video, the reason why I took part in Occupy Central, the feeling during the trial and my feeling after Occupy Central are what I hope you to know a factual story of a social activist. Better myself. And I hope you safeguard our Hong Kong. See you soon.
SHIU Ka Chun
25/4/2019
#雨傘運動
#和平佔中
#佔中九子
#公民抗命無畏無懼
#OccupyCentralwithpeaceandlove
#Umbrellamovement
#CivilDisobedience
《執拗的低音:邵家臻的陳情書》
A statement by SHIU Ka-chun
Translation by Hong Kong Free Press
2013年的復活節前夕,我決志參與「讓愛與和平佔領中環」;2016年的復活節前夕,我決定出選立法會社福界功能組別選舉;2019年的復活節前夕,我因「公眾妨擾罪」上庭,正等候法官發落。這就是我的陳情書。
On the eve of Easter in 2013, I decided to join “Occupy Central with Love and Peace” (OCLP). On the eve of Easter in 2016, I decided to run for a seat in the Social Welfare functional constituency in the legislature. On the eve of Easter in 2019, I am in court for public nuisance charges and am waiting for judgment. This is my statement.
1989年,我進入了浸會「學院」修讀社會工作,很快感受到「搞掂自己」與「搞好社會」之間的高度反差。1989年6月4日是一面鏡子,照出國家的暴力,也塑造了今日的自己。作為六四的一代,把八九六四鐫刻在生命之中,是因為它決定了我的相信或不相信,決定了我忠誠於誰、反叛於誰,決定了我的愛和恨。
In 1989, I entered Hong Kong Baptist College to study social work, and quickly realised the disparity between “taking care of myself” and “fixing society.” June 4th, 1989 was a mirror, which reflected the nation’s violence, and also moulded who I am today. As a member of the June 4th generation, I etched the incident into my life because it determined what I believe or disbelieve, to whom I am loyal or disloyal, what I love or hate.
我不相信這塊土地不需要有熱情而誠懇的異議者,不相信社會改革是種潮流,可以因為out而被淘汰。如果沒有改革氣氛,我們就一點一點地慢慢搞吧。
I don’t believe that this land does not need passionate and earnest dissidents, and neither do I believe social reform is a kind of fashion that can become outdated. If the atmosphere is not right for reform, then we can do it slowly, bit by bit.
第一階段,我相信文字戰勝時間。革命,我是做不到的,它必須用血和肉來交換。沉默,我也是做不到的,於是我唯有以一種最冷靜的方法,對社會的不公不義,提出針砭。
In the first stage, I believe that words can defeat time. I am incapable of revolution, because it demands blood and flesh, but I am also incapable of silence. So I can only use the most dispassionate way, of critiquing the injustices of our society.
第二階段,我以為「一個人行,行得快;兩個人行,行得遠。」2013年年初,我跟志同道合的社工們學習如何抵抗暴政,如何做組織,也做好自己;如何在受傷中學習而堅強;如何抵抗恐懼和絕望。簡言之,就是如何在社工界搞社會運動。
In the second stage, I thought “one person can walk fast, two people can go far.” At the start of 2013, my fellow social workers and I learnt how to resist tyranny, how to organise, and how to play my own part well. I learnt how to become stronger after being injured, how to resist fear and despair. In other words: how to start a social movement among social workers.
由2013年1月16日戴耀廷的文章開始,「讓愛與和平佔領中環運動」正式拉開戰幔。既然我在4月下旬以社工身分出席了佔中記招,成了傳媒口中的「十死士」,我不能有負眾望,所以我不斷為佔中運動製造有利條件。例如「我係社工我要佔中」座談會、社福界商討日、佔中社工隊、9月29日社工界大罷工等。
“Occupy Central with Love and Peace” officially started with an article written by Benny Tai on January 16, 2013. I attended the OCLP press conference in late April in my capacity as a social worker, and was coined by the media as one of the “ten martyrs.” Because of this, I could not disappoint people’s expectations, so I kept on creating conditions favourable to OCLP. For example, the “I’m a social work and I want to occupy Central” forum, a deliberation day for the social welfare sector, the social worker team for OCLP, and the social welfare sector strike on September 29.
在「無家者和平佔中商討日」時,認識當時還在生的翠姐。翠姐,患了末期肝癌,在通州街橋底露宿,儘管已經六十多歲,但仍希望為民主出一分力,堅持要我們推着坐輪椅的她參與「毅行爭普選」。翠姐說,以往的政治大事,都有意無意地將她拒於門外。她在街頭,活得像曱甴一樣……
At the OCLP deliberation day for the homeless, I came to know the late Chui. Chui was suffering from late-stage liver cancer and slept under the bridge on Tung Chau Street. Despite being in her sixties, she wanted to play her part for democracy, and insisted that we push her in her wheelchair to take part in the “Walk for universal suffrage.” Chui said, major political events in the past have either intentionally or unintentionally excluded her. She was living on the street, like a cockroach…
運動時的壓力,不僅來自政府威權,也來自群眾──早上你對強權大膽批判,博得民眾好感;很不幸,晚上回家時,你可能已經成為千夫所指的渣滓,因為中午你發表了一個不受歡迎的觀點。我不住提醒要有「獨立精神」:一,獨立於權威與商業;二,獨立於群眾;三,獨立於自己的榮辱。
The pressures during the movement did not only come from the government, but also from the crowd. In the morning you can boldly criticise the establishment and win the public’s affection. Unfortunately, when you return home at night you may have already become a derided scoundrel, just because you expressed an unpopular viewpoint at noon. I was always reminded to have an independent spirit: independent of those in power and big business, independent of the crowd, and independent of my own sense of honour and shame.
2014年12月中旬,政府清場。恐懼幾乎無處不在,社會上已找不到任何未被其染指的領域了。恐懼已成為最普遍的情緖,人們甚至透過它來觀察世界。不是說我沒有懼怕。只是不想自己就是這樣的怕下去。我不可以餵養自己的恐懼。
Mid-December 2014, the government cleared the streets. Fear was almost everywhere, and there was no uninfected space in society. Fear had already become the most common emotion, and people even used it to see the world. I’m not saying I was not afraid. I just didn’t want to continue being afraid. I could not feed my own fear.
我出選立法會,是要想非暴力抗爭未完。我要用行動告訴同路人,可以失望不可絕望;要出選,是要守住議會,用議席撐住社運;想出選,也要入議會守住左翼社會政策立場,倡議社會公義。我以「暗室點燈,絕處種花,突破樽頸,復興社工」作為競選口號並成功當選。
I ran for the Legislative Council because I wanted non-violent resistance to not be over. I needed to tell my companions that they can be disappointed but not lose hope. I ran for office to safeguard our council, to support the social movement with my seat. I ran for office to secure a left-wing viewpoint on social policies inside the legislature, and to promote social justice. I ran with the slogan of “Lighting a candle in a dark room, planting a flower at the end of the world, break free from the bottleneck, revive the social welfare sector” and I won.
過去兩年多的議會工作,諸般不順,百不稱心,雖然在「檢討院舍法例」、「整筆撥款津助制度檢討」、中學小學及幼稚園的「學校社工」、「新屋邨社工隊」、「檢討綜援」上有少許進展,但整體來說,議會工作的挫折感仍是不為外人道的。你問我做議會工作累不累?累也要站着。
In the past two years of working at the legislature, nothing has gone right and everything has been disheartening. There has been some minor progress in reviewing the law for residential care homes, the Lump Sum Grant Subvention Scheme, the school social work service, the social worker team for new housing estates, and reviewing the Comprehensive Social Security Assistance. But in general, the sense of frustration coming from my Legislative Council work is unspeakable. You ask if my work is tiring or not? Even if I am tired I have to stand.
此刻,我跟八位正派的人一起佇立面對審判。這些正派的人,無論大時代如何變遷動盪,也不管社會怎樣信仰破產、人慾橫流,在他們眉宇間都是堂堂正正、自尊自重、慎言篤行、有耻且格的。
At this moment, I stand with eight righteous people to face judgment. These people – no matter how the times change, how society becomes spiritually bankrupt, dark desires running wild – will live righteously and with respect. They are cautious in their words and deeds and can tell right from wrong.
此刻,我也要向三子報告,你們給我的任務,今天我總算完成。由「十死士」,到「揪着三子褲頭的人」,到今天的同案,甚至同囚。這條苦路,跟你們一起行完。能夠行到盡頭,是我的榮幸。
At this moment, I want to report to the Occupy trio: I have completed the task you gave me. From the “ten martyrs,” to the “person holding up the pants of the Occupy trio,” to co-defendants today, and maybe even fellow inmates. I have walked this bitter road with you to the end, and it was my honour.
此刻,我想提醒生活在黑暗的人,不要習慣黑暗,也不要因為習慣而為黑暗辯解,甚至倒過來嘲笑那些尋找光明的人。
At this moment, I want to remind those who live in the dark to not get used to dark, not to defend darkness out of habit, and not to scoff at those who search for the light.
此刻,我要跟同行者分享,入獄不會是句號,也絕不應該是句號。在爭取公義的路上,今天的判決可以是逗號、分號,甚至是問號、感歎號,但肯定不是句號。
At this moment, I want to say to my companions, a jail sentence is not a full stop and should not be one. On the path to justice, today’s judgment can be a comma, a semi-colon, even a question mark or an exclamation mark – but definitely not a full stop.
此刻,我想警告威權政府,即使你們殺掉所有公鷄,也無法阻止晨曦的到來。
At this moment, I warn the authoritarian government: even if you kill all the roosters, you cannot stop the coming of the dawn.
emotion sentence 在 Tommy Cheung 張秀賢 Facebook 的最佳貼文
掛住你,臻。
《執拗的低音:邵家臻入獄前的自白》
各位:
大家看到這影片時,我已被裁定有罪及被送入監倉,傳媒對此有不少報導,我也想自我報導一下。在這七分鐘的影片中,為何參加佔中、聆訊過程中的感受、以及對佔中後的香港的想法,是我希望大家透過這影片,再一次去明白一個抗爭者的血肉故事,我會盡量做好自己,亦希望您們繼續守護香港。稍後見。
邵家臻
2019年4月25日
====================
‘A Statement by SHIU Ka Chun’
Dear all,
When you see this video,I have been sentenced eight months behind bars. Though there are some related news report, I want to report it by myself. During this 7mins video, the reason why I took part in Occupy Central, the feeling during the trial and my feeling after Occupy Central are what I hope you to know a factual story of a social activist. Better myself. And I hope you safeguard our Hong Kong. See you soon.
SHIU Ka Chun
25/4/2019
#雨傘運動
#和平佔中
#佔中九子
#公民抗命無畏無懼
#OccupyCentralwithpeaceandlove
#Umbrellamovement
#CivilDisobedience
《執拗的低音:邵家臻的陳情書》
A statement by SHIU Ka-chun
Translation by Hong Kong Free Press
2013年的復活節前夕,我決志參與「讓愛與和平佔領中環」;2016年的復活節前夕,我決定出選立法會社福界功能組別選舉;2019年的復活節前夕,我因「公眾妨擾罪」上庭,正等候法官發落。這就是我的陳情書。
On the eve of Easter in 2013, I decided to join “Occupy Central with Love and Peace” (OCLP). On the eve of Easter in 2016, I decided to run for a seat in the Social Welfare functional constituency in the legislature. On the eve of Easter in 2019, I am in court for public nuisance charges and am waiting for judgment. This is my statement.
1989年,我進入了浸會「學院」修讀社會工作,很快感受到「搞掂自己」與「搞好社會」之間的高度反差。1989年6月4日是一面鏡子,照出國家的暴力,也塑造了今日的自己。作為六四的一代,把八九六四鐫刻在生命之中,是因為它決定了我的相信或不相信,決定了我忠誠於誰、反叛於誰,決定了我的愛和恨。
In 1989, I entered Hong Kong Baptist College to study social work, and quickly realised the disparity between “taking care of myself” and “fixing society.” June 4th, 1989 was a mirror, which reflected the nation’s violence, and also moulded who I am today. As a member of the June 4th generation, I etched the incident into my life because it determined what I believe or disbelieve, to whom I am loyal or disloyal, what I love or hate.
我不相信這塊土地不需要有熱情而誠懇的異議者,不相信社會改革是種潮流,可以因為out而被淘汰。如果沒有改革氣氛,我們就一點一點地慢慢搞吧。
I don’t believe that this land does not need passionate and earnest dissidents, and neither do I believe social reform is a kind of fashion that can become outdated. If the atmosphere is not right for reform, then we can do it slowly, bit by bit.
第一階段,我相信文字戰勝時間。革命,我是做不到的,它必須用血和肉來交換。沉默,我也是做不到的,於是我唯有以一種最冷靜的方法,對社會的不公不義,提出針砭。
In the first stage, I believe that words can defeat time. I am incapable of revolution, because it demands blood and flesh, but I am also incapable of silence. So I can only use the most dispassionate way, of critiquing the injustices of our society.
第二階段,我以為「一個人行,行得快;兩個人行,行得遠。」2013年年初,我跟志同道合的社工們學習如何抵抗暴政,如何做組織,也做好自己;如何在受傷中學習而堅強;如何抵抗恐懼和絕望。簡言之,就是如何在社工界搞社會運動。
In the second stage, I thought “one person can walk fast, two people can go far.” At the start of 2013, my fellow social workers and I learnt how to resist tyranny, how to organise, and how to play my own part well. I learnt how to become stronger after being injured, how to resist fear and despair. In other words: how to start a social movement among social workers.
由2013年1月16日戴耀廷的文章開始,「讓愛與和平佔領中環運動」正式拉開戰幔。既然我在4月下旬以社工身分出席了佔中記招,成了傳媒口中的「十死士」,我不能有負眾望,所以我不斷為佔中運動製造有利條件。例如「我係社工我要佔中」座談會、社福界商討日、佔中社工隊、9月29日社工界大罷工等。
“Occupy Central with Love and Peace” officially started with an article written by Benny Tai on January 16, 2013. I attended the OCLP press conference in late April in my capacity as a social worker, and was coined by the media as one of the “ten martyrs.” Because of this, I could not disappoint people’s expectations, so I kept on creating conditions favourable to OCLP. For example, the “I’m a social work and I want to occupy Central” forum, a deliberation day for the social welfare sector, the social worker team for OCLP, and the social welfare sector strike on September 29.
在「無家者和平佔中商討日」時,認識當時還在生的翠姐。翠姐,患了末期肝癌,在通州街橋底露宿,儘管已經六十多歲,但仍希望為民主出一分力,堅持要我們推着坐輪椅的她參與「毅行爭普選」。翠姐說,以往的政治大事,都有意無意地將她拒於門外。她在街頭,活得像曱甴一樣……
At the OCLP deliberation day for the homeless, I came to know the late Chui. Chui was suffering from late-stage liver cancer and slept under the bridge on Tung Chau Street. Despite being in her sixties, she wanted to play her part for democracy, and insisted that we push her in her wheelchair to take part in the “Walk for universal suffrage.” Chui said, major political events in the past have either intentionally or unintentionally excluded her. She was living on the street, like a cockroach…
運動時的壓力,不僅來自政府威權,也來自群眾──早上你對強權大膽批判,博得民眾好感;很不幸,晚上回家時,你可能已經成為千夫所指的渣滓,因為中午你發表了一個不受歡迎的觀點。我不住提醒要有「獨立精神」:一,獨立於權威與商業;二,獨立於群眾;三,獨立於自己的榮辱。
The pressures during the movement did not only come from the government, but also from the crowd. In the morning you can boldly criticise the establishment and win the public’s affection. Unfortunately, when you return home at night you may have already become a derided scoundrel, just because you expressed an unpopular viewpoint at noon. I was always reminded to have an independent spirit: independent of those in power and big business, independent of the crowd, and independent of my own sense of honour and shame.
2014年12月中旬,政府清場。恐懼幾乎無處不在,社會上已找不到任何未被其染指的領域了。恐懼已成為最普遍的情緖,人們甚至透過它來觀察世界。不是說我沒有懼怕。只是不想自己就是這樣的怕下去。我不可以餵養自己的恐懼。
Mid-December 2014, the government cleared the streets. Fear was almost everywhere, and there was no uninfected space in society. Fear had already become the most common emotion, and people even used it to see the world. I’m not saying I was not afraid. I just didn’t want to continue being afraid. I could not feed my own fear.
我出選立法會,是要想非暴力抗爭未完。我要用行動告訴同路人,可以失望不可絕望;要出選,是要守住議會,用議席撐住社運;想出選,也要入議會守住左翼社會政策立場,倡議社會公義。我以「暗室點燈,絕處種花,突破樽頸,復興社工」作為競選口號並成功當選。
I ran for the Legislative Council because I wanted non-violent resistance to not be over. I needed to tell my companions that they can be disappointed but not lose hope. I ran for office to safeguard our council, to support the social movement with my seat. I ran for office to secure a left-wing viewpoint on social policies inside the legislature, and to promote social justice. I ran with the slogan of “Lighting a candle in a dark room, planting a flower at the end of the world, break free from the bottleneck, revive the social welfare sector” and I won.
過去兩年多的議會工作,諸般不順,百不稱心,雖然在「檢討院舍法例」、「整筆撥款津助制度檢討」、中學小學及幼稚園的「學校社工」、「新屋邨社工隊」、「檢討綜援」上有少許進展,但整體來說,議會工作的挫折感仍是不為外人道的。你問我做議會工作累不累?累也要站着。
In the past two years of working at the legislature, nothing has gone right and everything has been disheartening. There has been some minor progress in reviewing the law for residential care homes, the Lump Sum Grant Subvention Scheme, the school social work service, the social worker team for new housing estates, and reviewing the Comprehensive Social Security Assistance. But in general, the sense of frustration coming from my Legislative Council work is unspeakable. You ask if my work is tiring or not? Even if I am tired I have to stand.
此刻,我跟八位正派的人一起佇立面對審判。這些正派的人,無論大時代如何變遷動盪,也不管社會怎樣信仰破產、人慾橫流,在他們眉宇間都是堂堂正正、自尊自重、慎言篤行、有耻且格的。
At this moment, I stand with eight righteous people to face judgment. These people – no matter how the times change, how society becomes spiritually bankrupt, dark desires running wild – will live righteously and with respect. They are cautious in their words and deeds and can tell right from wrong.
此刻,我也要向三子報告,你們給我的任務,今天我總算完成。由「十死士」,到「揪着三子褲頭的人」,到今天的同案,甚至同囚。這條苦路,跟你們一起行完。能夠行到盡頭,是我的榮幸。
At this moment, I want to report to the Occupy trio: I have completed the task you gave me. From the “ten martyrs,” to the “person holding up the pants of the Occupy trio,” to co-defendants today, and maybe even fellow inmates. I have walked this bitter road with you to the end, and it was my honour.
此刻,我想提醒生活在黑暗的人,不要習慣黑暗,也不要因為習慣而為黑暗辯解,甚至倒過來嘲笑那些尋找光明的人。
At this moment, I want to remind those who live in the dark to not get used to dark, not to defend darkness out of habit, and not to scoff at those who search for the light.
此刻,我要跟同行者分享,入獄不會是句號,也絕不應該是句號。在爭取公義的路上,今天的判決可以是逗號、分號,甚至是問號、感歎號,但肯定不是句號。
At this moment, I want to say to my companions, a jail sentence is not a full stop and should not be one. On the path to justice, today’s judgment can be a comma, a semi-colon, even a question mark or an exclamation mark – but definitely not a full stop.
此刻,我想警告威權政府,即使你們殺掉所有公鷄,也無法阻止晨曦的到來。
At this moment, I warn the authoritarian government: even if you kill all the roosters, you cannot stop the coming of the dawn.
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