「我很抱歉」也許足以彌補較小的損傷,
但嚴重的傷害會需要更強大的藥,
往往不只是嘴巴說「對不起」而已。
否則,
被我們傷害的人會繼續收回他們的信任,
而這只會讓我們更加沮喪,
接著又怪罪對方不接受道歉。
📍先理解受傷者的情緒
受傷的一方通常會經歷三個情緒階段,我稱之為「三H」:
階段一: #受傷(Hurt)。
自以為堅強的假象被破壞,
這時受傷者會意識到,
原來自己會遭受如此嚴重的傷害。
階段二: #怨恨(Hate)。
受傷者會對辜負自己的信任、
偷走自己安全感的那個人感到憤怒不已。
階段三: #猶豫(Hesitation)。
在覺得安全之前,
受傷者不會允許自己再親近造成傷害的人。
📍採取實際行動彌補
如果傷害很嚴重,
即使最動聽的言詞也無法打動受傷者的心,
只有補償的行動才能取代痛苦的記憶,
並且讓受傷者放下心防。
這時需要透過「三R」來平衡「三H」:
一、 #懺悔(Remorse)
你必須證明傷害對方也讓你感到痛苦,
而最有效的方法就是站在對方的立場說出:
「我傷害到你了,對不對?」
接著加上一句簡單而誠摯的陳述:
「我知道自己錯了,
也很在乎我對你造成傷害。」
當一個人覺得痛苦時,
任何解釋都是多餘。
二、 #補償(Restitution)
如果比較小的傷害,
簡單的表示也許就已足夠,
但嚴重的過錯可能就需要公開表示悔悟。
三、 #修復(Rehabilitation)
如果要克服再次受到傷害的恐懼,
受傷的一方需要的不只是承諾,
唯有真心改變行為才能重建他們的信任感。
.
摘錄自《#別再扯自己後腿了》
作者:馬克.葛斯登, 菲利浦.高德堡
... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...
各位朋友,早安:
這篇分享,是這系列最後一篇了。
我從這本書收穫很多,覺得根本就是談自我挫敗的經典。裡面有好多寶藏,等著各位自己去發掘。書裡面也有些實用的練習,我覺得很有可行性。
祝願您,能體會愛一個人,有時要跟對方一起體驗他的痛苦,即便他宣稱痛苦由我們造成!
.
以上文字摘錄自
《#別再扯自己後腿了:全美最佳精神科醫師教你戰勝自我挫敗,解決各種難題》
練習解決40個常見的自我挫敗行為
每章均附自我改善練習步驟
博客來 https://bit.ly/2M0UFdu
誠 品 http://bit.ly/3bSbOB7
金石堂 http://bit.ly/2XSYGDs
圓神書活網 http://bit.ly/03900171
電子書同步不拖延上架
Readmoo http://moo.im/a/47bglA
Kobo https://bit.ly/39CFssg
作者:馬克.葛斯登, 菲利浦.高德堡
圓神出版.書是活的
.
【 鄧惠文X洪仲清 深度對談《我想看妳變老的樣子》】
https://www.facebook.com/Psychologist.Hung/videos/753272205582160
相信自己是夠好的媽媽:是犧牲,還是責任?是妥協,還是平衡?放下對母愛的執著,恢復你的生命彈性,重新找回愛自己的方式
博客來:https://bit.ly/2vhVD9s
讀書花園:https://bit.ly/2GEA9dH
誠品:https://bit.ly/2W4E3Sq
金石堂:https://bit.ly/2vhQ6jh
同時也有4部Youtube影片,追蹤數超過75萬的網紅志祺七七 X 圖文不符,也在其Youtube影片中提到,✔︎ 成為七七會員(幫助我們繼續日更,並享有會員專屬福利):https://bit.ly/3eYdLKp ✔︎ 訂閱志祺七七頻道: http://bit.ly/shasha77_subscribe ✔︎ 追蹤志祺IG :https://www.instagram.com/shasha77.daily...
restitution 在 Engadget Facebook 的最佳解答
He also has to pay Nintendo more than $200,000 in restitution.
restitution 在 語言選物 Facebook 的最讚貼文
【podcast選物 no. 12】Heartfelt Apology
我們不會把車鑰匙丟給小孩,推他一把:
「去開車,去」
但我們總是推著小孩往前,鼓勵著:
「去說對不起,去」
不會開車的人會撞傷人、撞傷車、或撞傷自己
不會道歉的人也會傷人、傷了關係、或傷了自己
那我們為何總是不教小孩該怎麼好好道歉呢?
因為我們也沒學過道歉
因為我們也是被推著去道歉的小朋友
Brené Brown和Harriet Lerner在podcast節目Unlocking Us裡談了 #九個好好道歉的要素 (Nine Essential Ingredients of a True Apology),我簡單列出分享給大家,相當推薦各位存起來,把這九項要點當作吵完架回顧時的討論架構,沒有架構的回顧容易陷入 #但是我覺得 的無止盡迴圈裡,把這九項要點寫成九張紙條,兩人一次一張紙互相發表想法,實在是 #居家自助諮商必備良藥
1️⃣ a true apology does not include the word “but”
(好好道歉就是不要一邊道歉一邊說「但是你也⋯⋯」)
2️⃣ A true apology keeps the focus on your action, not on the other person’s response.
(請針對你做了什麼去好好道歉,不要牽拖是對方太敏感)
3️⃣ A good apology includes an offer of reparation or restitution that fits the situation.
(不要只是搔頭說抱歉,好好道歉是在合理範圍內主動提出補償)
4️⃣ A true apology does not overdo.
(控制自己,不要崩潰哭著去道歉,讓對方反而得照顧你)
5️⃣ A true apology doesn’t get caught up in who is more to blame or who started it. You apologize for your part of a problem, even if the other person can’t see their part.
(好好道歉就是如果你看見自己應該道歉的部分,針對你的部分道歉,你的道歉無關這個爭執因誰而起,也無關對方是否看見他該道歉的部分)👈🏼 難度五顆星
6️⃣ A true apology requires you do your best to avoid a repeat performance.
(好好道歉就是儘量不再犯)
7️⃣ A true apology should not serve to silence another person.
(好好道歉不是為了讓對方閉嘴不再找你碴)
8️⃣ A true apology should not be offered to make you feel better if it risks making the hurt party feel worse.
(好好道歉不是讓你逼著對方聽你的道歉,逼著對方接受你的賠罪)
9️⃣ A true apology doesn’t ask the hurt party to do anything, not even to forgive.
(好好道歉不是交易,你道完歉不代表對方就該接著也表示點什麼,也不代表對方應該讓它過去)
———以下是深入版的討論示範———
1️⃣ a true apology does not include the word “but”
「真的很不好意思讓你等那麼久,但是如果你早點說,我就不會...」
真誠道歉,必須讓對方有感,深深有感,切勿but,一旦加上了but,前面的道歉頓時就成了一張包裝紙,拆開包裝,蹦出來的是責怪攻擊、理屈強辯、假意安撫,沒人會記得本來包裝上寫的是對不起。
🚩「但對方真的就是太晚講啊,我道歉歸道歉,他太晚講也是事實啊,我為何不能說?」
👉🏼 Lerner在podcast節目裡說:
Once you say “I’m sorry but…”, it doesn’t matter if what you say after the “but” is true. It will cancel out your apology.
apology像一杯 #味道細緻的茶,用but多加了其他味道,對方就嚐不出你的歉意何在了
2️⃣ A true apology keeps the focus on your action, not on the other person’s response.
🚩「如果你覺得我說的話冒犯了你,我道歉」
這話聽來完全無法讓人氣消。
但也很難找到理由繼續生氣,常常此時只能啞口無言,心裡委屈。
這話之所以讓人難受,是因為「如果我說的話有冒犯到你」這話背後的意思是「我不覺得我說的話傷人」。
所以如果你沒察覺,不知情之下接受這個糟糕的設定,那麼判定他的話是否傷人的關鍵就悄悄變成你是否 #太敏感,如果你回答:「是,我覺得很不舒服」,那麼對方的道歉反而顯得大氣:你太脆弱,他太好心,他願意為你的敏感道歉
👉🏼「如果要道歉,請針對你冒犯人的言語,告訴我你知道你的話傷人」
#想進一步在課堂上跟我討論歡迎私訊
#想把這集的節目當英文學習材料也歡迎私訊
#語言選物 #podcast選物 #好好道歉
restitution 在 志祺七七 X 圖文不符 Youtube 的最讚貼文
✔︎ 成為七七會員(幫助我們繼續日更,並享有會員專屬福利):https://bit.ly/3eYdLKp
✔︎ 訂閱志祺七七頻道: http://bit.ly/shasha77_subscribe
✔︎ 追蹤志祺IG :https://www.instagram.com/shasha77.daily
✔︎ 來看志祺七七粉專 :http://bit.ly/shasha77_fb
✔︎ 如果不便加入會員,也可從這裡贊助我們:https://bit.ly/support-shasha77
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(如果你是頻道會員,請別忘了另外到社群找專屬的優惠連結ㄛ~)
#大英博物館 #羅賽塔石碑 #文物返還
各節重點:
00:00 開頭
01:31 神秘的羅賽塔石碑
02:29 為什麼埃及文物會在英國
03:37 埃及:你給我還來喔!
06:01 支持文物返還的論點
07:27 反對文物返還的論點
08:54大英博物館不還的真正理由
10:43 對大英博物館的負面影響
11:37 我們的觀點
【 製作團隊 】
|企劃:艾拉諾
|腳本:艾拉諾
|編輯:土龍
|剪輯後製:鎮宇
|剪輯助理:歆雅、范范
|演出:志祺
——
01:45 照片引自:https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Tourist_watching_Rosetta_Stone_at_British_Museum.JPG
【 本集參考資料 】
→ 英國「不舒服藝術導覽」:揭開帝國黑暗面的博物館挑戰:https://bit.ly/2AlcEWI
→ 「文物歸還」的潘朵拉之盒是否已開啟?談法國歸還26件非洲文物始末:https://bit.ly/2VsSf9d
→ 希臘政府與大英博物館之爭──帕德嫩神廟石雕何時才回的了家?:https://bit.ly/2ZpRiQr
→ The nuances of repatriation: Should the British Museum return its Egyptian collection?:https://bit.ly/3dI73qV
→ 董伊哲,2019,《想像古埃及: 1821-1854 年大英博物館與大眾文化中的古埃及展示》:https://bit.ly/2VymdbY
→ 楊翎,全球化與大英博物館, 博物館學季刊 18(4):https://bit.ly/31pvgQq
→ 柯秀雯,從衝突到合作: 淺談博物館的文物歸還問題:https://bit.ly/2Blugly
→ British Museum Department of Ancient Egypt and Sudan|維基百科:https://bit.ly/2VMJIhV
→ Recent restitution cases of cultural objects using the 1970 Convention:https://bit.ly/2YIMHcQ
→ Why museums are returning cultural treasures | Chip Colwell:https://bit.ly/3dMELvA
→ Repatriation (cultural heritage):https://bit.ly/2Be5F2j
\每週7天,每天7點,每次7分鐘,和我們一起了解更多有趣的生活議題吧!/
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106台北市大安區羅斯福路二段111號8樓
🔶如有業務需求,請洽:hi77@simpleinfo.cc
🔴如果影片內容有誤,歡迎來信勘誤:hey77@simpleinfo.cc
restitution 在 一二三渡辺 Youtube 的最讚貼文
ホンダ・ジャイロ (GYRO) は、本田技研工業が製造販売している3輪(前輪1輪、後輪1軸2輪)のスクーターの車名。排気量は49ccで原動機付自転車に該当する。 車名は G:Great, Y:Your, R:Recriational, O:Original の頭文字から生まれた造語で、羅針盤のジャイロにもかけている。
Honda gyro(GYRO) The car name of the motor scooter of the three-wheeled (one front wheel, one rear wheel axis 2) that は, Honda Motor produce it and sell. The displacement volume falls under a motor bike at 49cc. The car name is G: Great, Y: Your, R: Recriational, O: By the coined word that came out of an initial of Original, it is lacking in the gyro of the compass.
The history
It is announcement / release by Honda Motor both. I write it jointly about the three-wheeled motor scooter of the company for reference.
* A motor scooter three-wheeled on November 11, 1981, stream beginning to sell. 198,000 yen.
* October 14, 1982 gyro X beginning to sell. 179,000 yen.
* April, 1983 JOY beginning to sell. 99,800 yen.
* May 25, 1983 just beginning to sell. 129,000 yen.
* July 20, 1984 road Fox beginning to sell. 139,000 yen.
* I upload a gyro on October 1, 1985 and begin to sell it. 249,000 yen.
* December 1, 1990 gyro canopy beginning to sell. Deck type 384,000 yen, wagon type 399,000 yen (according to the consumption tax).
A characteristic
* I have an axis as a common characteristic in the vicinity of the body center, and right and left can swing at a front wheel and the most of the body including the driver's seat. The point that can move a center of gravity to the inside in the case of turning like a bank to perform by a motorcycle by this mechanism is different from a general tricycle.
* I fix swing mechanism and a wheel and employ parking Locke to sentence to stands substitute. It can park with having kept the stability of the body in the slant place.
* The power of restitution from a swing state is different from the bank of the general motorcycle slightly, and there is unique riding taste. Because the rear wheel side including the heavy goods such as engines does not participate in center of gravity movement; the thing that cannot live without inevitability as for what can incline at the time of turning in comparison with a motorcycle exaggeratedly.
* I compare it with other motor scooters from a tare, loading weight and the ratio of the displacement volume (a horsepower), and a burden pro-power is big. In addition, an engine is arranged in the vicinity of a rear wheel axis and is easy to be affected by the road surface, and it can get wet at a low position, and trouble is easy to occur structurally. I am for business use mainly, and it is used by a burden, convenience, but include the repair, and there are few general users by a cost side.
* The wheel and axle possessed LSD (a non-slip and name) after an initial model of gyro X, but the system was a thing of the facility to always do one rings for half connection by a clutch. I upload a gyro and, in the gyro canopy, put デファレンシャルギア on the rear wheel axle and improve turning characteristics.
* All of the domestic general sale car model except the competition use was four stroke engines, and, as for the motorcycle of Honda, the gyro series was equipped with two stroke engines as the only exception now. Because the use of two stroke engines became difficult, I attracted attention whether Honda could develop four stroke engines which could bear the use with the gyro in future, but four water cooling stroke engines were equipped with by a model change in March, 2008 in the future by environmental regulation.
restitution 在 Joseph Prince Youtube 的精選貼文
Silence every voice of accusation and have the peace of God reigning in your heart today! In this powerful message, Joseph Prince explains how Christ has met every claim of God's justice and much more through His perfect work at the cross. See from the Old Testament trespass offering how Jesus has not only made restitution for all your sins—even those committed unintentionally—but also overpaid what we owed God by a further 20 percent! And because He has restored to God 120 percent on your behalf, you are free to receive 120 percent of His grace, provision and blessings today!
Get the full message at:
JosephPrince.com - http://bit.ly/W9Waqd
iTunes - http://bit.ly/V4vVZK
Amazon - http://amzn.to/UJUtbz
Find us at:
http://www.facebook.com/JosephPrince
https://twitter.com/JosephPrince
restitution 在 Restitution Definition & Meaning - Merriam-Webster 的相關結果
: payment that is made to someone for damage, trouble, etc. See the full definition for restitution in the English Language Learners Dictionary. restitution. ... <看更多>
restitution 在 Restitution - Wikipedia 的相關結果
In summary, therefore, the word "restitution" means the relinquishment of a benefit or the return of money or other property obtained through an improper means ... ... <看更多>
restitution 在 restitution中文(繁體)翻譯:劍橋詞典 的相關結果
restitution 的例句. restitution. The relationship between normal impulse and coefficient of restitution is linear. 來自Cambridge English Corpus. ... <看更多>