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How to Have God’s Faith

“Jesus replied, “Let the faith of God be in you! Listen to the truth I speak to you: If someone says to this mountain with great faith and having no doubt, ‘Mountain, be lifted up and thrown into the midst of the sea,’ and believes that what he says will happen, it will be done.” (Mark‬ ‭11:22-23‬ ‭TPT‬‬)

In the passage above, Jesus said the “faith of God” and not “faith in God”. If we want to perform mighty miracles like casting a mountain into the sea, we will need to receive God’s own faith.

“For I say, through the grace that was given me, to every man who is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think; but to think reasonably, as God has apportioned to each person a measure of faith.” (Romans‬ ‭12:3‬ ‭WEB‬‬)

You see, there is the measure of faith that God already gave to us in the past, and also God’s own faith that He gives to believers at appointed timings.

The former is the one that we keep free from unbelief through daily renewing of the mind, while the latter is more powerful because it is pure and guaranteed to mightily prosper in its intended purpose.

“But to each one is given the manifestation of the Spirit for the profit of all. For to one is given through the Spirit the word of wisdom, and to another the word of knowledge, according to the same Spirit; to another faith, by the same Spirit; and to another gifts of healings, by the same Spirit; and to another workings of miracles; and to another prophecy; and to another discerning of spirits; to another different kinds of languages; and to another the interpretation of languages. But the one and the same Spirit produces all of these, distributing to each one separately as he desires.” (1 Corinthians‬ ‭12:7-11‬ ‭WEB‬‬)

Faith is one of the manifestations of the Holy Spirit. He distributes this “faith of God” at times. Every believer can receive this.

To understand when this God-faith comes, we have to know the delivery system:

“Faith, then, is birthed in a heart that responds to God’s anointed utterance of the Anointed One.” (Romans‬ ‭10:17‬ ‭TPT‬‬)

Many English Bible translations do a poor job of translating the verse above. They stray from the original Greek meaning. However, I like the translation I quoted above.

The words translated as “anointed utterance” in Greek is “rhematos” which means “a spoken word”. “The Anointed One” is Christou, which is Christ.

“Rhematos Christou” is not referring to God’s written Scriptures in general. That one would be the logos word, or “what God has said before”. The rhema word is talking about what Christ is currently actively saying to you through His Spirit inside you.

When Jesus speaks a rhema word to you, it carries God’s authority. When you hear and act upon that word, the “faith of God” is imparted to you for mighty power to be released. This is when miracles and breakthroughs flow.

Let us see this in action:

“Peter answered him and said, “Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the waters.” He said, “Come!” Peter stepped down from the boat, and walked on the waters to come to Jesus.” (Matthew‬ ‭14:28-29‬ ‭WEB‬‬)

Jesus said “Come,” and this rhema word carried the authority for Peter to transcend the natural laws of nature. When Peter heard the command and acted upon it, the “faith of God” was imparted to him, empowering him to walk on the waters.

You may be surprised by this, but even Jesus depended on the rhema word from His Father during His earthly ministry.

“Jesus therefore answered them, “Most certainly, I tell you, the Son can do nothing of himself, but what he sees the Father doing. For whatever things he does, these the Son also does likewise. For the Father has affection for the Son, and shows him all things that he himself does. He will show him greater works than these, that you may marvel.” (John‬ ‭5:19-20‬ ‭WEB‬‬)

Before doing any miracle, Jesus first received the rhema word from the Father, and He simply obeyed, acting upon what the Father showed Him.

When Jesus acted upon the rhema word, God’s power flows because the authority, faith, and will of God are working in perfect synergy.

It is therefore most crucial that we ask the Lord to give us the rhema word for our situation. To receive it, you can calm your emotions and pray about your situation, listening in silence to see what the Holy Spirit brings to your attention.

Other than that, sometimes He uses your pastor or Christian friend to speak divinely inspired words to you. The Holy Spirit is the source of the rhema word. The way He delivers it isn’t the most important thing, so be open to however He chooses to convey the rhema word to you.

When it comes, grab hold of it in your heart, and act upon it, for it is the key to unlock God’s supernatural provision in your situation!

The 37 recorded miracles of Jesus Christ in the four gospels show us God’s heart of love and Grace towards us. As you explore them in “Messiah’s Miracles”, faith will arise in your heart to receive miraculous breakthroughs in your own life: https://bit.ly/messiahs-miracles

「地獄空」攝影集即將在八月中元節前出版，由知名設計師與攝影家黃子欽設計，內附在下二位高徒精美繪製符咒、心經版畫書籤、愣嚴咒牌、尊勝咒語...等，感恩十方大德助印，希望疫情退散，平安喜樂，後記如下：

野放台灣五十餘年，貪狼獨坐，三方四正殺破狼格局，少年多舛，白手起家，隨展覽雲遊四海，如閒雲野鶴常持各類底片機流連廢墟、山川、宮廟忘返，遂設幻影堂自詡堂主，一日三省「凡所有相皆是虛妄」，常宅於暗房沖片放大通宵、鍾情黑白世界之單純，彩色照片俗世繽紛花俏做作甜美甚至比現實更現實故少拍也。知天命之年有餘，了悟人生一瞬、眨眼即逝，雖非仙人，亦無道骨，初聞離垢地生清淨心，但離華嚴「不動地」尚遠，待修持也。
2017年盛暑拍畢《巨神連線》，心律不整差點心肌梗塞向閻羅王報到，意識死神隨伺在側，人生苦短，如何了生脫死、盡斷煩惱、無所罣礙、遠離顛倒……總不得解，蒙釋迦摩尼佛開示飆淚三晝夜，聞佛法數載始知自我渺如塵埃，甚感慚愧。閒暇乃參訪名寺古剎，禮敬焚香佛陀菩薩羅漢諸神天仙王爺媽娘，台灣宮廟千奇百怪、宗派錯綜複雜（佛教、道教、一貫道、天主教、基督教、齋教、回教＆大同教、儒教鑾堂、天帝教＆天德教、慈惠堂＆勝安宮、軒轅教、道院、理教、萬國道德會、會靈山……）、神棍橫行（依人不依法、偶像崇拜、斂財、邪淫），因歷史變遷、社會動盪、政治鬥爭、意識形態等因素導致佛道混雜，但地獄造景稀少，後專注拍攝各殿閻王、判官、陰司、獄卒、七爺、八爺乃至一切罪人，各寺造景巧妙、耐人尋味，意境乖張溢於言表，造型扭曲非常人所能塑也，然匠心獨運、自成一格，專研西方藝術數十載方知真誠樸拙最美，絲毫不輸喬托（Giotto di Bondone，1267～1337）乃至米開朗基羅（Michelangelo Di lodovico Buonarroti Simoni 1475 ~ 1564）矣。

創立於1986年的石門金剛宮風景優美可眺望北濱，雖主祀四面佛，儒釋道眾神尊也不含糊，可過七星橋解厄、繞行五百黝黑羅漢敲鑼印心、跪拜亞洲最大臥佛涅槃像，安太歲自不在話下，甲子太歲爺雙眼長出手掌印象甚深，1994年經閻羅王指示廟公建造一條肚內設極樂世界及陰曹地府之神龍，行走暗黑通道觸動感應機關，只見面容猙獰受刑者呼天搶地喊冤、身邊盡是血肉糢糊殘肢敗屍腦漿塗地，十殿閻羅各司其職、威儀攝人。新北市林口區青嶺湖北文紫祥宮包公廟則以壁面彩塑地獄浮雕獨步全台，粉嫩色彩搭配卡漫風格，尤為造型簡直恐怖到可愛透頂，該廟主祀森羅殿閻羅天子包拯（包青天），陽世冤屈者可至此參拜祭解，求破懸案者眾，逢中元普渡皆以紙紮船渡亡魂至彼岸，全台唯一閻羅天子巨像籌備中，四周環繞墓地，適合修不淨觀也。台灣首尊彰化八卦山大佛旁南天宮（1971）地府則是首座電動地府，規模精小但驚嚇度破表，略顯破敗但五光十色仍蠻凶悍，出自已故台南大道長金登富之作，而電動神明起始可追溯至1960年代北港朝天宮。倒是嘉義水上鄉白人牙膏觀光工廠「戴相府」、「將軍府」設置十殿地府出乎意料之外，乾淨亮麗、ㄧ殿ㄧ間、簡單樸實。由高雄蓮潭龍虎塔龍口入內可見全臺唯一交趾陶地獄牆面，尊尊栩栩如生，續入龍身乃進聞聲救苦白衣觀音大士三十三化身浮雕隧道，造型設色甚為古錐。高雄大岡山超峰寺入口處「西方三聖蓮池海會」（阿彌陀佛、觀世音菩薩、大勢至菩薩巨像）旁設靜態十殿閻羅（1970年代初），雖略為陳舊然韻味猶存，續往上行可抵「證菩提道－釋迦如來應化事迹」雕塑園區，一攬世尊畢生精華。如來年邁時，琉璃國王為報長期被釋迦族輕蔑之傲慢心，世尊雖三次單獨伽跌坐 阻擋大軍進攻之路，但因緣果報無法逆轉，昔日婢女所生王子瞋恨無以復加，還是滅了祖國。自持神通第一目犍連不忍無辜百姓慘遭屠殺，遂以缽盛救度五百族人，最終卻化為血水，佛言神通廣大仍不敵千百劫業力，因緣果報屢試不爽。其母死後墜入餓鬼道飢餓難耐，目犍連遂展神通救渡，但所食尚未入口皆化為赤火，佛陀囑咐農曆七月十五日僧眾解安居自恣日，於盆中設甘露美食供養十方僧眾，因此超度亡母。後世「盂蘭盆法會」乃至「水懺法會」、「瑜珈焰口法會 」皆為消業障、斷塵垢之超渡儀軌，既渡亡魂也自懺悔。

台南麻豆代天府規模宏大、造型豔麗，不但可遊十八層地獄尚可逛天堂（1979年興建，1983年開放)，燈光絢爛、聲響駭人，獨自漫步宛如觀落陰、地獄走一回。先過「心頭山」、入「清心池」、進「陰陽界」、抵「交簿廳」、達「鬼門關」、遊「補經所」、探「枉死城」、行「奈何橋」，至ㄧ殿泰廣王照「孽鏡台」現造惡原形，睹抱柱、火床等小地獄。二殿楚江王開「陰查簿 」判案定奪，觀糞尿泥、餓鬼、舞池、寒冰、膿血、鞭韃、舌犁、劍葉、戟腹拋接、砧截……等小地獄。三殿宋帝王刑罰為倒吊、銅鐵刮臉、挖眼、搗樁、倒烤、吸血、穿肋、抽筋、蛆蛀等小地獄……兼遊「四生（胎、卵、濕、化）回魂府」。四殿五官王掌管腰斬、拔舌、沸湯、刺嘴、剝皮、箭樹、車崩、射眼……等十六小地獄。隨五殿森羅王豋「望鄉臺」回眸親人最終眼後觀擊膝、誅心、刀山、飛刀火石……小地獄。六殿卞城王別稱「大叫喚大地獄」，轄火牛、虎啖、噬腎、鉗嘴含鍼、釘喉、磨摧、砍頭……等小地獄。七殿泰山王為「熱惱大地獄」，窺烙手指、抽腸、頂石蹲身、油釜滾烹、割舌穿腮……等十六小地獄。八殿都市王掌管「大熱惱大地獄」兼火狗、鐵汁、鐵蛇、鋸劈斷肢、釘板、灸脊、鐵丸、磅秤……等小地獄。九殿平等王直轄十八層「阿鼻大地獄」，直透地心、內中陰森、不見五指、滿溢地漿，皆為極犯，另轄紫赤毒蛇鑽孔、夾頂、鐵鴉、針雨、蜂蠍……等小地獄。至十殿輪轉王上「觀生臺」、「轉劫所八司」（查驗司 、稽善司 、考過司 、恩怨司 、壽命司 、支配司、掌劫司 、授生司）後至「孟婆亭」飲「醧忘湯」忘盡前塵往事，依前世功德過金、銀、玉、石、木、竹六種橋樑至「轉輪臺（紫河車）」入六道輪迴轉生投胎。據《十八泥犁經》記載，人過世後七七四十九天為「中陰生」，經閻羅王審判善惡業力判定去留或懲罰百千萬劫，犯五逆重罪則墮入「無間地獄（阿鼻地獄）」永劫不復。地藏王乃幽冥教主，統轄十殿閻羅，逢三曹普渡便在各殿設「講道所」超度尚存善根之鬼魂。

人類居於五趣（阿修羅、人、傍生、餓鬼、地獄）雜居地五濁惡世之堪忍世界，犯十惡業（殺生、偷盜、邪淫、妄語、兩舌、惡口、綺語、貪慾、嗔恚、愚痴）者必墮三趣惡道。如何出「三界」（欲界、色界、無色界）二十八天？凡人無此意識，別說能破「十二因緣」（無明、行、識、名色、六入、觸、受、愛、取、有、生、老死）還滅門，更別想斷除「四聖諦」（苦、集、滅、道）集地八十一品見惑與八十八使思惑（五利使-身見、邊見、邪見、見取見、戒禁取見、五鈍使-貪、瞋、癡、慢、疑），了悟「五蘊」（色、受、想、行、識）本空、「十二入」（眼、耳、鼻、舌、意、色、聲、香、味、觸、法）空、「十八界」空，破俱生我執與分別我執、法執甚至空執，生十一處「善心所」（信、精進、慚、愧、無貪、無瞋、無痴、輕安、不放逸、行捨、不害），降二十六處「惡心所」（貪、瞋、癡、慢、疑、惡見、忿、恨、覆、惱、嫉、慳、誑、諂、害、憍、無慚、無愧、掉舉、惛沉、不信、懈怠、放逸、失念、散亂、不正知），須知善根斷盡則陷永劫輪迴、無垠轉世之苦。

地獄可能空滅嗎？若地獄空乏人間多鬼怪，地獄淨空世間何嘗非淨土？若能證空性何處現地獄？

地獄曠古來便廣泛流傳各部族間，老死生滅為自然運行之基礎、宇宙意識之核心，然今文明昌盛如咱城邦並非慾望消弭之所，惡性所及實無可根除，礙於憲法國家法律社會軍隊企業公司學校家庭團體之層層束縛不亞於十八層，乃遁於壓抑、束己情懷，暗埋心底、日久貪嗔痴慢疑怨噌會疊穢。而六塵未熄，心多妄念，妖魔鬼怪魑魅魍魎孤魂閃靈出沒於荒郊乃至人間，會靈於曠野密林以增性靈乃出世高人修煉之舉，我等凡人擅闖宛如迪士尼般之人造地獄，三魂七魄尚不足以出竅，驚邪恐怖淒厲猙獰倒滿足了自以為是的慚愧，豈不謬哉？

病毒肆虐年半有餘，全球確診者逼近一億八千萬，枉死者近四百萬，堪比戰爭規模，望眾生發慈悲心、令往生者安息、善待其他物種、平等有情眾生。地獄本空，唯妄念生起一切羨慕嫉妒恨而地獄現前。盡以此書作為世界新冷戰獨裁者、超限戰者、暗網駭客、陰險狡猾冷嘲熱諷落井下石者之良知備忘錄矣。

姚瑞中寫於2021年端午節

Postscript

I have been living recklessly in Taiwan for more than fifty years. According to Zi Wei Dou Shu (Purple Star Astrology), Tan Lang is the sole star in my house of Self. This star, which represents xxx, forms an equilateral triangle with that star Qi Sha and Po Jun on the square chart and constitutes a Sha Po Lang pattern. The pattern indicates a kind of turbulence and change, a life of wandering with ups and downs and it tells a lot about my life. After my ill-fated youth, I started from scratch and traveled around the world with exhibitions that I participated. Like a flaneur, I wandered around ruins, nature, and temples with every type of film camera obliviously. Thus, I founded the Hall of Illusion and claimed to be the master of the hall. Several times a day, I pondered a quote from the Diamond Sutra, “Everything with form is unreal.” In addition, I usually stayed in the darkroom developing film and enlarging those negatives overnight. However, I treasured the simplicity of the black and white world. The earthly, gaudy, garish, phony and pleasing qualities within colored photos make the images even more realistic than the real world. It is not my cup of tea, so I seldom took colored photos. In Confucian thought, the age of fifty marks the stage knowing the mandate of Heaven. I am now at my fifties and realize how ephemeral human life is. However, I am not an immortal, nor having sagelike characteristics. I just learned that the stage of stainless (the second bhūmi) and develop a pure mind that is free from doubt and defilement. However, I’m still far from the immovable state and need to practice.

In the summer of 2017, after filming the work Incarnation, I experienced a severe heart rhythm problem which almost triggered myocardial infarction and could have killed me. Consequently, I realized that death was waiting for me and the life is too short to figure out how I can liberate myself from the cycle of Birth and Death. I couldn’t comprehend how to be free from all afflictions and worries and how to avoid delusive ideas. I wept for three days and nights after being enlightened by Shakyamuni Buddha. Up to the moment, I felt ashamed that I failed to realize that the self is as insignificant as dust after these years learning and practicing Buddhism. Since then, I have visited famous temples and monasteries in my spare time, worshiping Buddha, Bodhisattvas, arhats, and all the deities and immortals. Taiwan’s temples are myriad with a enormous number of sects, including Buddhism, Taoism, Yiguandao, Catholicism, Christianity, Chinese religions of fasting, Islam& Baháʼí Faith, Confucianism, Tiandiism& Tian-De Teachings, Xiwangmu cult, Yellow Emperor Sect, Precosmic Salvationism, Liism, World Wide Ethical Society, séance cult, etc. Some people even claim that they can mediate communication between the deities or spirits of the dead with human beings, having their believer rely on themselves instead of the orthodox dharma or dogma and pay excessive respect and admiration for the mediums or objects, accumulating wealth through such an unfair means or even harassing their believer sexually. Due to Taiwan’s historical changes, social turbulence, political struggles, and ideological issues, Buddhism and Taoism are somehow mixed. However, there are few emphases on the concept of the hell. As I took photographs of Yama of each court, judges, wardens of the underworld, jailers, General Fan and Hsieh (the ghost escorts) and all sinners, I found few temples cleverly created hellish scenes that are intriguing, exaggerating, and extraordinary. However, the creations are unparalleled unique. I have been studying Western arts for decades and then I came to realize that simplicity makes the most beautiful works of art. These hellish scenes can even compete with works of Giotto di Bondone (1267-1337) and Michelangelo Di lodovico Buonarroti Simoni (1475-1564).

Jingang Temple Shimen District, founded in 1986, overlooks the beautiful North shore. Although the temple is mainly dedicated to Phra Phrom (the Thai representation of Mahabrahma), spirits of Confucianism, Buddhism, and Taoism can also be founded in the temple. The worshipper can go cross the Seven Star bridge to relieve bad luck, walk along the five hundred arhat statues and knock on the gong to affirm one’s Buddha nature. Furthermore, the worshipper can also prostrate themself before Asia’s largest statue of Buddha in Nirvana (the Reclining Buddha statue) and pacify the Taoist Tai Sui deity of the year. I was impressed by the Jia-Zi Tai Sui General that a pair of palms grow out of his eyes. In 1994, the biō-kong (the person taking charge of the temporal affairs of a temple) received a divine inspiration from Yama (the King of Hell) that he had to build a sacred hall in the shape of a divine dragon, with the interior designed according to the World of Ultimate Bliss and the Underworld. When the visitor walks in the dark hallway, they will see the tortured people (dioramas, of course) scrunching their faces and crying bitterly and loudly in excessive grief as the visitor triggers the mechanism. One will even find them in the midst of flesh, body liquid and blood, mutilated limbs, and rotten corpses. While each of the ten Yamas are focusing on their own duties, showing their sacred dignity that collect visitors’ attention. The Baogong Temple in Linkou District, New Taipei City exclusively features colorful depiction of hellish scenes in relief in Taiwan. With its pastel shades and cartoon-like style, the relief is both grotesque and adorable at the same time. This temple is dedicated to Bao Zhen (also known as Justice Bao) representing the incarnation of Yama. Living people who have been treated unjustly can come worshipping Bao Gong and receive exorcism. Therefore, many people come here for seeking to solve unsolved cases. In Zhongyuan Festival (the ghost festival), the temple will burn the Zhizha (paper craft) boat to ferry the ghosts to the other shore, which is the shore of enlightenment. The only giant statue of Yama in Taiwan is still in the making. The temple is surrounded by a cemetery, suitable for meditating on the loathsomeness and impurity. Nantian Temple (1971), located next to the Eight Trigram Mountains Buddha in Changhua, features the first animatronic underworld. Despite the small size, the animatronic underworld is intensely shocking. Though it’s slightly worn, the colorful dioramas are still brutally ferocious. The creator was the late venerable Dao Zhang (Taoist priest) Jing Deng-fu while the origin of animatronic deities can be traced back to the 1960s Beigang Chaotian Temple. On the contrary, the Whiteman Toothpaste Tourism Factory in Shuishang Township, Chiayi, features ten Yamas with individual booth. The place is unexpectedly clean and polished yet keeps a simple and modest tone. Then, the Dragon Pagoda of the Dragon and Tiger Pagodas at Lotus Lake in Zuoying, Kaohsiung, holds the only relief of hellish scenes made of Kochin ceramic. All the figures are vivid and life-like. If one goes further into the pagoda, they will see a relief tunnel of the thirty-three incarnations of the white-robed form of Guanyin (Avalokiteśvara) on a white lotus, with a lovely and interesting design. Another Hall of Yama is built in the 1970s next to the entrance of Dagangshan Chaofeng Temple, located in the Alian District of Kaohsiung. Visitors will also see three statues of the Three Holy Ones of the Western Pureland (Amitābha, Avalokiteśvara, Mahāsthāmaprāpta) which assemble at a lotus pond. Although the hellish scene looks somewhat antiquated, you may still find its previous charm. If one goes further, they will reach the sculptural garden of “Attaining the Bodhi Way: the Incarnation of Sakyamuni Buddha,” where the visitor can see the essence of Bhagavato’s (meaning the Blessed one, one of the common epithets for Buddha) life. When Tathāgata (another epithet for Buddha) was old, the king of Kosala wanted to avenge the arrogance of the tribe of Shakyas who had long despised him, regarding him as a son of a maiden. Although Buddha has sat in lotus position alone three times to stop the army from attacking his tribe. However, one can never reverse the cause and following karma. The prince born of a maiden was so furious that he eventually destroyed his homeland. Maudgalyāyana (one of the Buddha’s closest disciples), who is said to have had supernatural abilities that surpassed the other disciples, could not bear to see the slaughter of innocent people. Thus, he saved five hundred people of his tribe with a pātra (an eating utensil of Buddhist monks). Unfortunately, everything he did was in vain, those who were saved eventually turned into a puddle of blood. The Buddha said that the supernatural abilities cannot surpass the power of karma. The cause and effect work all the time. When Maudgalyāyana’s mother fell into the path of hungry ghost, he used his supernatural abilities to save his mother from hunger. However, all the food turned into fire before being fed to his mother. Later, the Buddha commanded the monks to put nectar and dishes in a basin on the 15th day of the seventh month in the lunar calendar for the monks from all directions to free his mother from reincarnation. In later times, the Ullambana Dharma Service, the Compassionate Samadhi Water Repentance, and the Yoga Collection for Feeding the Searing Mouths Dharma Service are rituals to eliminate karmic hindrance and to cease to worldly delusions. Through such practices, one can free the dead as well as confess their repentance.

Madou Daitian Temple is a magnificent and colorful temple in Tainan. Not only can the worshippers visit the eighteen levels of Hell but also the Heaven (it was built in 1979 and inaugurated in 1983) here. The lighting and sound effects are stunning and frightening. When walking alone in the space, one may feel like taking a Guan Luo Yin trip (a Taoist necromancy which leads people’s spirits to hell and communicate with the dead ones) to visit the underworld prison. Before arriving the first court of the underworld, the visitor will walk through the Mountain of Heart Summit, the Pure Heart Pond, the Frontier between the Living and the Dead Realms, the Soul Registry Hall, the Portico of Demons, the Center for Complementary Teaching of Canonical Books, the Citadel of Premature Death, and the Bridge of Vanity. When one arrives at the first court, they will see King Chin-guang, who is in charge of the court, using the Mirror of Retribution to show the earthly form of evil creatures and also witness the sub-hell of Pillar-Holding and Fire Bed, etc. At the second court, King Chu-jiang collates the register of sins the souls of the dead have committed to impose the punishments. Here, you will see the sub-hell of Excrement and Urine, Hungry Ghost, Burning Dance Floor, Ice, Pus and Blood, Whipping, Tongue-Raking, Sword Blade, Stomach-Piercing, Chopping, etc. Next, the dead at the third court, ruled by King Song-di, will receive the punishments including inversion tortures, face-skinning with steel and copper knife, eye-wrenching, pounding, blood-sucking, rib-piercing, roasting, tendon-taking, being eaten by maggots. The visitor can pay a visit to the Palace of Soul-Resuscitation for the Four Forms of Creatures (birth from an egg, birth from a womb, birth from moisture, and birth by transformation). King Wu-guan is in charge of the fourth court. There are sixteen sub-hells at the fourth court including Waist Chop, Tongue Removal, Boiling Pond, Mouth-stabbing, Skin-peeling, Sword Tree, Burning Wheels and Cart, Eye-shooting, etc. Next, at the fifth court, sinful souls are allowed to ascend the Tower of Hometown-Viewing to take a final look of their family. The visitor will witness sub-hells of Knee-striking, Heart-slicing, Blade Mountain, Flying Swords and Burning Stones, etc. The King of Bian City takes charge of the sixth court, which is also known as the “Great Hell of Screaming,” with sub-hells including Fire Cattle, Tiger-Biting, Kidney-Eating, Mouth-Poking, Throat-Nailing, Iron Mill, Decapitation, etc. The King of Tai-shan is in charge of the seventh court, the “Great Hell of Heat and Fire.” The sixteen sub-hells at this court include Finger-Searing, Bowel-Hauling, Stone-Bearing, Boiling Oil, Tongue-Removal and Cheek-Piercing, etc. Next, the King Du-shi is in charge of the eighth court, the “Great Hell of Intense Fire and Heat,” and the sub-hells including Fire Dogs, Molten Iron, Iron Snakes, Dismemberment, Steel Spikes, Burning-Marrow, Iron Ball, Scale, etc. The ninth court is ruled by the King Ping-deng. It is known as the biggest court, Avici Hell (the Hell of Incessant Suffering), which if the lowest level of the hell realm and the interior is gloomily and terrifyingly dark. Those who committed the most serious evil deed will be sent to the Avici Hell. Sub-hells such as Poisonous Snake, Brain-Removal, Crow-Gnawing, Raining Needles, Wasps and Scorpions are included at this court. After arriving the tenth court, ruled by the Great King of the Reincarnation Palace, one can visit the “Observatory of Life on earth” and the “eight bureaus of the Reincarnation Palace” (including the Bureau of Judicial Control, the Bureau of Good-Actions, the Bureau of Bad-Actions, the Bureau of Debts, Gratitude, and Vengeance, the Bureau of Longevity and Destiny, the Bureau of Familial Ties, the Bureau of the Reincarnated, and the Bureau of Birth). The sinful one will be sent to the Pavilion of Mengpo and made to drink the Soup of Forgetfulness to forget all past affairs. According to the sinful one’s merits of previous life, they will go across one of the six bridges (gold, silver, jade, stone, wood, bamboo) to the “Reincarnation-Wheel (Wheel on the Crimson River).” Finally, one is able to reborn in the six realms. According to the Aṣṭadaśa nāraka sutra ( the Eighteen Hells Sutra), after one passes away, they will enter an intermediate and transitional state between death and rebirth, known as antarābhava in Sanskrit, for forty-nine days. The being will be evaluated by Yama, who will decide if one should get reborn or get punished at the hell. Those who committed the Five Grave Offenses (killing one’s father, killing one’s mother, killing an Arhat, shedding the blood of a Buddha, and creating a schism within the community of Buddhist monks and nun who practice for attaining enlightenment.) will be sent to the Avici Hell and stay there eternally. Kṣitigarbha is the Lord of the Nether World, ruling the ten court of Hell. The lord will set up the “Hall of Teaching” at each court to salvage those sinful ones who still obtain few merits at the offering rituals.

Human beings live the Sahā world (sahāloka in Sanskrit, meaning “endurance of suffering,” a concept of mundane world in Mahāyāna Buddhism) where they share with other reincarnations (including beings of the hells, of the preta, and of malevolent nature spirits) with five turbidities (the Kalpa turbidity, the view turbidity, the affliction turbidity, the living beings turbidity, and the life turbidity). Those who commit the ten evil deeds (killing, stealing, adultery, lying, using immoral language, slandering, equivocating, coveting, anger, and false views) must fall into the three evil paths (animals, preta, and hell). However, how can one escape from the three realms/ twenty-eight heavens (including the six heavens of the desire realm, the eighteen heavens of the form realm, and the four heavens of the formless realm)? Worldly people who don’t have such an awareness cannot leave the cycle of the twelve nidanas (meaning causes or motivations), let alone eliminate the eighty-one afflictions (that have been produced due to misunderstanding regarding reality) and the eighty-eight illusions (including five afflictions of advanced practitioners, also known as five views: view of self, extreme view, evil view, view of attachment to views, and view of morality; and five unintelligent temptations: desire, anger, stupidity, arrogance, and doubt) of thought within the three realms and four Arya satyas (noble truths, including suffering, arising, ending, and path). They cannot realize that the essence of the five skandhas (referring to aggregates of clinging, including the matter of form, sensation, recognition, mental formation, and consciousness) , the twelve ayatana (meaning sense base, including six internal bases: eye, ear, nose, tongue, body, and mind and six external bases: visible objects, sound, odor, taste, touch, and mental objects), and the eighteen dhātavah (meaning compositional elements of human existence, including six consciousness, six faculties, and their objects) are the emptiness and the void. Furthermore, they cannot dispel the two reasons for clinging to the idea of the self and the attachment to elemental constructs and even believe in the two (false) tenets that that karma and nirvana are not real and that the ego and phenomena are real. As a consequence, they fail to develop the eleven wholesome mental factors (faith, energy, conscience, being ashamed, non-attachment, non-aggression, non-delusion, calmness, equanimity, conscientiousness, and non-injuriousness) and cease the sixteen unwholesome mental factors (desire, greed, anger, delusion, arrogance, doubt, wrong view, wrath, enmity, hypocrisy, vexation, jealousy, parsimony, deceit, flattery, harming, ambitiousness, stupidity, lacking of faith, idleness, being unrestrained, forgetting, distraction, non-discernment, ). One must bear in mind that once all our virtuous roots are discontinued, they will be trapped in the never-ending reincarnation and the suffering of infinite continuity.
Is it possible that the hell will be empty one day? If the beings in hell will become extinct while evil spirits inhabit the mundane world, the world could be considered as a pure land. If we could witness the nature of the void, then hell will exist no more.
Since ancient times, the concept of hell has been widely spread among all tribes. Aging, death, beginning, and end are the basis of nature and the core of cosmic consciousness. However, the prosperous civilization as our island is not a place where desire can be eliminated. It’s impossible to eradicate evil nature. Since fetters brought by the constitution, the state, the law, society, the military, corporations, schools, families, and groups are not less than the eighteen levels of hell, the mortals repress themselves, bury their feelings. Day after day, greed, anger, stupidity, arrogance, doubt, and resentment are stacking. However, since the six dust (visible objects, sound, odor, taste, touch, and mental objects) has not yet been extinguished, people in the mundane world are still full of delusions. The demons, devils, evil spirits, and the wondering dead exist in the wilderness, while only advanced practitioners with transcendent would attempt to make contact with the dead in the wasteland and forest. Worldly people like us trespass in Disneyland-like man-made hell. It is absurd and ridiculous that the hellish scenes cannot stop us from perpetrating evil deeds, but the horrific and cruel scenes yet satisfy our self-righteous shame.

The pandemic has been boiling over for more than a year and a half. The number of infected patients worldwide is nearly a hundred and eighty million, and the death toll has risen to four million, which is equivalent to a war crisis. I hope that we can all be compassionate, give peace to the dead, treat all sentient beings well and equally. The hell is innately empty; however, deluded and misleading thoughts would give rise to all jealousy and hatred and then manifest the hell before us. This book merely serves as a memorandum of conscience for dictators of the world’s new cold war, supporters of unrestrained warfare, dark web hackers, and those who are cunning and contemptuous and maltreat others when knowing they have problems.

June 2021,

Yao Jui-chung

Seorang Suami Menemui Sebuah Diari Arwah Isterinya Dan Hampir Pitam Selepas Membaca Kandungan Diari Tersebut Kerana Rupanya Arwah Isterinya Itu Sudah Banyak Kali...
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Apa yang nak aku tuliskan ini, jadikan lah sebagai pengajaran buat semua lelaki di luar sana yang bergelar suami. Kisah ini mungkin menyayat hati bagi yang masih ada ‘hati’.

Hari ni genap 67 hari arwah isteri aku meninggl. Dan selama 67 hari ini juga aku tak henti henti menangis di atas pemergian isteri yang paling aku sayang. Bukan aku tak redha, cuma aku rasa seperti tak lepas.

Seperti ada sesuatu yg belum selesai antara kami. Dan malam ini, aku terjaga bukan kerana tangisan baby yg minta disusukan, tapi kerana seakan terdengar dengar tangisan arwah. Allahu..aku tak kuat.

Aku dah berkahwin selama lebih kurg 3 tahun setengah dengan isteri. Kami kahwin muda. Seawal usia aku 20, dan isteri 19. Di awal perkahwinan, semuanya indah belaka. Aku sgt mencintai isteri sehingga langsung tak boleh berjauhan dengan nya.

Sampai kadang kadang bila kena oustation, aku menangis rindukan dia pada waktu malam (aku bekerja di company milik family, dan dia belajar di ipts dekat dgn rumah) . Pergi ke mana saja, aku akan bawa dia bersama. Hatta keluar isi minyak atau beli top up pun dia akan merengek nak ikut. Isteri aku mmg manja org nya dan type of overly attached wife. Tapi aku tak rimas, malah aku suka.

Kami memang sangat rapat. Tambahan pula kami bercinta lepas nikah. We explore everything together. Bila dia cuti sem, aku akan bawa dia berjalan mana dia nak pergi. Isteri aku cantik orgnya. Bukan aku puji sebab dia isteri aku, tetapi sebab semua orang pun cakap perkara sama.

Bila keluar, kalau isteri aku melaram mesti ada je mata yang duk pandang pandang. Memang aku sakit hati, tapi aku pujuk diri dengan cakap takpelah, dia milik aku skrg. Lagipun aku tahu isteri aku mmg jenis sangat tidak melayan.

Bercakap dengan lelaki pun kurang. Dulu masa nak pikat hati dia pun ambil masa berbulan baru dapat kenal. Dia seorang yang sopan, dan menutup aurat dengan sempurna.

Dari awal kahwin, sehingga hampir setahun, aku rasa sangat senang dengan arwah. Kalau boleh, aku nak ada dekat dengan dia je 24jam. Bila ada kerja luar, aku akan settlekan cepat dan berkejar nak balik rumah.

Namun bila masa berlalu, tanpa aku sedar aku makin banyak berubah. Tanpa aku sedar, arwah makan hati dalam diam. Aku makin jauh dengan dia. Aku sibuk dengan kerja luar, sehingga aku rasa seronok berada di luar berbanding di rumah bersama isteri. Kadang kadang, aku cari je apa yang boleh aku settlekan di luar rumah sebab aku bosan stay dekat rumah.

Sepanjang perkahwinan, mmg aku langsung tak pernah keluar kalau bukan bersama arwah. Apa lagi nak lepak malam malam dengan kawan lama. Sampai laa suatu masa aku join macam macam club kereta dan motor.

Makin banyak alasan aku nak jumpa kawan itu dan kawan ini. Mula mula arwah diam , lama lama dia mula merungut yang dia bosan di rumah kesorangan. Tapi aku tak peduli pun. Kadang kadang dia menangis sebab kecil hati dengan aku. Tapi setiap kali dia menangis bila bergaduh atau berkecil hati, aku tak pernah pedulikan dia. Sedar sedar dia dah tertidur dengan air mata kat pipi.

Ye, aku tahu aku suami yg jahat. Aku biasakan dia dengan layanan seperti seorang puteri, kemudian aku ragut semuanya . Dari seorang suami yang cukup lembut, aku berubah menjadi seperti seekor singa bila bergaduh.

Aku akan ignore dia. Aku akan cakap kasar kasar dengan dia. Tangan aku mula pandai sentuh badan dia (itu kalau dia yg mulakan dulu). Sampai kadang kadang aku rasa mcm jodoh aku dengan dia dah takde.

Kami kerap bertengkar. Dan kebanyakannya berpunca dari sikap dia yang terlalu kuat cemburu. Tapi itu dulu, masa dia hidup. Bila dia dah pergi, baru aku sedar. Dia bukannya cemburu buta tetapi dia mahu aku jadi suami yg soleh. Dia mahukan yg terbaik untuk dunia dan akhirat aku. Allah, berdosanya aku.

Aku mengaku, aku memang susah nak jaga mata. Bila keluar berdua, dan ada perempuan cantik yg melintas depan kami mesti mata aku akan terpesona tgk kecantikan perempuan tu. Padahal isteri aku ada kat sebelah. Dan isteri aku pun sangat cantik.

Tapi aku tak pernah sedar semua tu. Bagi aku biasa lah tu lelaki mmg suka tgk perempuan cantik. Aku tak tahu yang isteri aku sedih dengan sikap aku tu. Arwah selalu tegur. Tapi aku buat tak tahu je. Sampai satu masa arwah dah tak tegur lagi, mungkin dia dah penat dengan perkara sama. Aku memang tak tahu bersyukur. Aku tak pernah rasa cukup dgn apa yg aku adaa. Sedangkan arwah dah cukup segalanya

To be honest, aku juga sukar jaga mata dari pandang perkara haram. Kadang kadang aku terlajak layan video prno. Tapi arwah tak pernah tahu. Sampai la satu hari masa dia mengandung 3 bulan, aku kantoi. Masa tu dia sedih sgt, sampai dapat migrain dan kena admit ward sebab pre eclampsia .

Aku risau sgt pasal baby masa tu. Dan it was the last time aku tgk mende keji tu. Aku dah bersumpah pada diri sendiri yg aku takkan tonton lagi umpan syaitan tu. Aku tak tahu kenapa, isteri aku halal untuk aku datangi bila bila masa tetapi pelacur di website itu juga yg aku nak tengok. Sedangkan t
Sedangkan tbuh isteri lebih cantik dari semua tu. Aku hina. Aku memang pendosa

Mulai hari tu, aku tengok isteri rajin bangun solat malam. Aku tahu, dia mengadu kepada Allah perihal aku. Aku tahu, dia bangun untuk doakan kebaikan bagi aku. Itupun semua aku tahu lepas dia dah pergi. Lepas dia dah meninggl. Lepas dah terlewat semua nya.

Seminggu lepas dia meninggl, aku kemas luggage pakaian dia. Dan aku terjumpa satu buku tebal. Aku ingatkan buku nota study dia. Rupanya dalam tu penuh catatan diari dia dari mula kahwin dengan aku sampai la hari terakhir sebelum di admit ward untuk give birth.

Aku baca semua. Air mata aku tumpas. Akurasa masa tu aku nak pergi gali semulaa kubur arwah aku nak peluk dia, aku nak cium dia, aku nak minta maaf aku nak minta ampun. Aku banyak dosa dengan dia.

“Abang, kenapa abg tengok semua tu. Sayang kan ada kalau abg berhajat? Mungkin sayang tak mengiurkan macam pelakon pelakon dlm video lcah tu. Syg minta maaf kalau syg tak pandai layan abg, sampai abg cari kepuasan melalui cara tu.

Ya allah, kau berilah hidayah pada suami aku. Abang, semoga Allah pelihara abang dari pandangan haram ye. Moga hati dan iman abg kuat ye. Takpe, syg tolong doakan abang setiap malam dan di setiap sujud syg. ”

” Cemburunya tengok abg duk pandang pandang perempuan tu tadi. Mmg la cantik. Tapi syg dah usaha habis baik nk bagi cantik jugakk bila keluar dgn abg

Sehelai demi sehelai lembaran tu aku belek. Dari sekecil kecil hingga ke sebesar besar hal dia ceritakan semua dalam buku tu. Baru skrg aku sedar , aku kurang beri perhatian pada dia selama ni. Dan ada satu luahan dalam buku tu ingatkan aku pada satu detik masa awal kehamilan arwah.

“Abang abang! Rasaa ni baby gerakk la! Aku emmm emm je. Mata asyik duk hadap hp. Bosan dgr dia merengek, aku alih tangan letak atas perut dia. Tapi mata masih lekat di skrin telefon. Dan segala kesedihan tu dia luahkan dalam buku tu. Memang aku dengar dia menangis malam tu tapi aku tak peduli pun. Mmg aku tak pernah nak pujuk kalau dia menangis. Apatah lagi nak tanya kenapa. Allahu.. kejam nya aku. Aku tak pernah peduli apa dia rasa.

Banyak yg aku baca dalam diari arwah. Patut laa dia dapat pre eclampsia (high blood prssure during pregnancy) . Padahal umur baru setahun jagung dan ini first baby. Rupanya banyak yg dia stress dan fikir pasal aku. Selama ni tanpa aku sedar, dia byk hide semua post di fb yg nengandungi unsur tak baik atau gmbr perempuan seksi. Betapa dia nak jaga dan nak bantu aku jadi baik.

Jahatnya aku. Memang aku tak pernah ada perempuan lain. Tapi aku seksa perasaan dan emosi dia. Dari apa yg aku baca, dia seolah menjadi sgt paranoid, memikirkan apa yg aku lihat di hp berkait dengan perempuan sksi, perempuan lain, atau tidak. Aku tak salahkan dia. Ini semua salah aku. Aku tak pernah fikir perasaan dia. Aku anggap semua remeh, semua kecil. Sedangkan dia menanggung derita yg besar.

Aku ingat lagi beberapa hari sebelum dia admit ward utk bersalin. Sewaktu dia nak turun beli makanan, dia sempat bergurau. Abang, rindu laa nak dengar abang ckp “awak jalan elok2 tau. Kalau ada org kacau, jerit nama abg kuat2”. Mmg dulu aku sangat lembut dan romantik dgn dia. Tapi aku xtahu mana semua tu pergi. Bukan arwah tak pernah cakap yg dia rindu aku yang dulu. Tapi aku tak pernah peduli.

Sekarang, semua dah takde. Yang tinggal hanya kenangan. Kenangan yang tak boleh mengembalikan apa apa. Dan arwah tinggalkan aku bersama zuriat kami. Nur amsya imani. Wajah iras sangat dengan arwah. Setiap kali aku pandang wajah anak syurga ini, setiap kali tu wajah arwah terbayang di mata. Allah..macam mana aku nak lalui hari hari mendatang.

Sungguh, aku sunyi. Dan sekarang baru aku faham erti sunyi yg isteri aku cakapkan selama ni bila stay dekat rumah sorang diri. Patut laa selama ni dia tak pernah tidur, dan tunggu aku balik walaupun tengah malam. Rupanya dia tak dapat tidur bila aku takde kat sblh

Aku dah hilang segalanya. Aku dah hilang isteri solehah yg sentiasa doakan kebaikan aku. aku dah hilang isteri yg selama ni jadi penguat aku. Abang rinduu nak naik motor dengan awak, sayang.. mcm awal kahwin dulu.

Pukul 1 pagi awak ajak round taman. Abang rinduu nak gurau dengan awak. Balik laa sayangg.. abg janji abg tak keluar dengan kawan dah. Abang janji abang tak hadap hp 24jam dah. Abang janji abg xpandang perempuan lain dah. Abang janji :(.

Menangis lah air mata darah pun. Arwah takkan kembali. Aku takde apa nak pesan banyak banyak. Tapi ambil laa kisah aku sebagai pengajaran. Tolong laa ambil sebagai pengajaran. Jangan sampai semua terlambat, baru kau nak menyesal. Aku menyesal. Menyesal. Menyesal.
A husband found a diary of his late wife and almost swoon after reading his diary content because apparently his late wife has many times...
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What I want to write about, make it a lesson for all the men out there who are called husbands. This story may be heartbreaking for those who still have 'heart'.

Today is only 67 days my late wife left. And for the past 67 days I haven't stopped crying over the passing of the wife that I love most. It's not that I don't accept it, it's just that I

It seems like there is something unfinished between us. And tonight, I'm awake not because of the baby's cry that asked to be breastfeed, but because it's like hearing the cry of the late Allahu.. I'm not strong.

I've been married for more than 3 years and a half to my wife. We married young. As early as I was 20, and wife 19. At the beginning of marriage, everything was beautiful. I love my wife so much that she can't be far from her.

Until sometimes when I get oustation, I cry missing him at night (I work in the family's company, and he's studying in IPTS near home). Go anywhere, I'll take her along. Hatta comes out of oil or even buy top up he will cry to follow. My wife is really spoiled by her person and type of overly attached wife. But I'm not crazy, but I like it.

We are very close. Plus we love after marriage. We explore everything together. When he's a semester holiday, I'll take him to walk where he wants to go. My wife is beautiful. I don't praise because she's my wife, but because everyone says the same.

When it comes out, if my wife dresses up there must be eyes that are looking at. I'm really hurt, but I persuade myself by saying it's okay, he's mine now. After all, I know that my wife is very kind of not entertaining.

Talking to a man is also lacking. In the past, when he was about to catch his heart, he took months to get to know him. He's a polite person, and cover his body perfectly.

From the beginning of marriage, until almost a year, I feel so happy with the late. If possible, I would like to be close to him for 24 hours. When there's an outdoor job, I'll settle fast and chase to go home.

But when time passes by, without me realizing I change more. Without me realizing, the spirit eats the heart in silence. I'm getting far away from him. I'm busy with outdoor work, until I feel good to be out there rather than home with my wife. Sometimes, I'm just looking for something that I can settle outside the house because I'm bored staying at home.

Throughout the marriage, I will never go out if not with the deceased. What else to hang out at night with old friends. Until one time I joined like a car and motor club.

More excuses for me to meet that friend and friend. At first the late was quiet, long time ago he started complaining that he was bored at home alone. But I don't care. Sometimes she cries because she's small with me. But everytime she cries when she fights or gets discouraged, I never cared about her. Realized that he fell asleep with tears on the cheek.

Yes, I know I'm a bad husband. I used to do her with service like a princess, then I snatched all of them. From a gentle husband, I turned into a lion when fighting.

I will ignore him. I'd be rude to him. My hands are starting to touch his body (that's if he started it first). Until sometimes I feel like my partner with him is gone.

We fight a lot. And most of them are caused by his attitude that is too jealous. But that was the time he lived. When he's gone, then I'll realize. He's not jealous but he wants me to be a good husband. He wants the best for my world and my afterlife. Allah, I am sinning.

I confess, I am hard to keep my eyes open. When both of you come out, and there's a beautiful woman who passes in front of us, my eyes will be amazed by the beauty of the Even though my wife is beside me. And my wife is very beautiful too.

But I never realized all that. For me it's normal that men like to look at beautiful women. I didn't know that my wife was saddened by my attitude. The late always greets. But I just don't know. Until one time the deceased hasn't told me anymore, maybe he's tired of the same thing. I don't know how to be grateful. I have never felt enough with what I have. While the deceased is enough

To be honest, I'm also hard to keep my eyes from looking at illegal things. Sometimes I watch the video too much. But the spirit never knew. Until one day when she was pregnant for 3 months, I was caught. At that time he was so sad, until he got migraine and got admitted to the ward because of pre eclampsia.

I was so worried about the baby at that time. And it was the last time I saw that cruel thing. I swear to myself that I won't watch the devil's bait anymore. I don't know why, my wife is halal for me to come to me anytime but the prostitute on the website is also what I want to see. Whereas t
While the wife is prettier than all that. I am despicable. I am indeed a sinner

From the other day, I saw the wife awake at night prayer. I know, he complains to Allah about me. I know, he woke up to pray for me for the goodness. That's all I knew after he was gone. After he left. After all it's too late.

A week ago she left, I cleaned her clothes luggage. And I found a thick book. I thought it was his study notebook. Apparently the diary is full of notes from starting to marry me until the last day before admitted to the ward to give birth.

I read all. My tears are broken. I feel that time I want to dig back the grave of my late I want to hug him, I want to kiss him, I want to apologize. I have sinned with him.

′′ Brother, why do you look at all that. Love is there if you wish? Maybe it's a pity that you don't like the actress in the video of the crazy video I'm sorry if I don't know how to treat me, until I find satisfaction through that way.

Ya Allah, please give guidance to my husband. Brother, may Allah protect you from illegal opinion. May my heart and faith be strong okay. It's okay, dear, please pray for me every night and every kneel dear. ′′ ′′

′′ It's jealous looking at brother looking at that woman just now. It's really beautiful. But unfortunately I've tried it and it's better to make it beautiful when I'm out with

One piece by one piece I turn into the sheet. From as small to small as big as he says everything in the book. Now I'm aware, I haven't paid attention to him all this time. And there's one expression in the book that reminds me of the early moment of the late pregnancy.

′′ Brother brother! I think this is a baby! Me emmm emm je. Eyes keep on facing hp. Tired of hearing him whining, I put my hand on his stomach. But the eyes are still stuck on the phone screen. And all the sadness he expressed in the book. I heard him crying that night but I don't care. I never wanted to persuade him if he cried. What else to ask why. Allahu.. I'm so cruel. I never cared what she felt.

I read a lot in the late diary. No wonder he got pre eclampsia (high blood pressure during pregnancy). Even though it's only a year of corn and this is the first baby. Apparently he's stressed out and thought about me. All this while without me realizing it, he hid all the posts on Facebook that contain bad elements or sexy women's pictures. How much he wants to take care of and help me be good.

I am evil. I never had another woman. But I torture her feelings and emotions. From what I read, she seems to be very paranoid, thinking of what I saw on her phone related to women, other women, or not. I don't blame her. This is all my fault. I never thought about her feelings. I take everything trivial, all small. While he suffered a big suffering.

I still remember a few days before he admitted to the ward to give birth. When he wanted to go down to buy food, he had time to joke around. Brother, I miss listening to my brother say ′′ you walk well. If someone disturbs me, shout out my name loudly ". I was so soft and romantic with him. But I don't know where all that went. It's not the spirit that he misses the old me. But I never cared.

Now, everything is gone. All that is left is memories. Memories that can't bring back anything. And the spirit left me with our children. Nur Amsya Imani. The face is very similar to the spirit. Every time I look at the face of this heavenly child, every time the face of the deceased is imagined in the eyes Allah.. how am I going through the coming days.

Really, I'm quiet. And now I only understand the meaning of silence that my wife has been talking about all this while staying at home alone. No wonder he hasn't slept yet, and wait for me to come back even though it's midnight. Apparently he can't sleep when I'm not beside me

I lost everything. I have lost my solehah wife who always pray for my goodness. I've lost my wife who has been my booster all this time. I miss riding a motorbike with you, dear.. like I got married early.

At 1 am you invite me to round the park. I miss joking with you. Come back dear.. I promise I won't be with my friends anymore. I promise I won't face my phone for 24 hours. I promise that I don't look at other women anymore. I promise :(.

Crying tears of blood. The spirit will never return. I don't want to order a lot. But take my story as a teaching. Please take it as a teaching. Don't let it be late, then you regret it. I'm sorry. I am sorry. I am sorry.Translated

Fujii Kaze - "Kaerou"


Director：Kodama Yuichi（vivision）
Assistant Director：Sato Ryuken（DIAMOND SNAP）
Cinemato Grapher：Okuguchi Makoto（Tsuji Office）
1st Camera Assistant：Shimizu Erika
DIT：Oyama Taito（progressive）
Lighiting Director：Kobayashi Kosei
1st Light Assistant：Omura Kiron
Prop Artist：Sakai Toshihide（TATEO inc）
Art Assistant：Sano Mariko（TATEO inc）
Grip：Taniguchi Takashi（OF）
Camera Car：Arai Keita（S3）
Casting：Yamauchi Tomokazu／Nishimura Kazuyuki（KOSEI）
Location Cordinator：Yamauchi Hiroshi
Stylist：Sugiyama Mayumi／Masuda Mika
Stylist Assistant：Oga Nozomi
Costume（fujii kaze）：YOHJI YAMAMOTO
Hair & Maike up（fujii kaze）：Takai
Hair & Maike up Assistant（fujii kaze）：Morishita Haruka


Color Grading：Ishihara Yasutaka（SONY PCL）
Shooting Editor：Gorilla（vivision）
Offline Editor：Kodama Yuichi（vivision）

VFX：Mizuno Masaki／Kawasaki Kotomi（Khaki）

CGI：Takagane Koji（Khaki）

Mixer：Masutomi Kazune

Producer：Inagaki Mamoru（GEEK PICTURES）
Production Manager：Taniguchi Yuki（GEEKPICTURES）
PM Assistant：Kanazawa Satoru／Takahashi Hiroki／Takeguchi Akefumi／Oshida Keiji／Iwanaga Yasuhiro／Mimori Yosuke／Sakamoto Ryosuke（GEEK PICTURES）／Sato Yosuke（GEEK PICTURES）


CAST
Aoyama Asami
Isse
Ichizo
Kathleen
Saikatsu
Sandy K
Shibamoto Yasuyoshi
Taira Jin
Tateishi Kirara
Tanaka Jin
Daikohara Chieko
Tenkou Mayumi
Hotta Shinzo
Fujii Kaze
MASASHI
Yamaki Koharu
Yoshizawa Kazumi
Ruri


☆ 05.20(wed) release 1st ALBUM "HELP EVER HURT NEVER"(CD)
▶️ https://Fujii-Kaze.lnk.to/HEHN

1. Nan-Nan
2. Mo-Eh-Wa
3. YASASHISA
4. Cause It's Endless
5. Flavor Of Sin
6. Cho Si Noccha Te
7. Tokuni Nai
8. I'd Rather Die
9. Hey Mr.Wind
10. SAYONARA Baby
11. Kaerou


【First Edition】 ¥4,000(+tax) UMCK-7064/5
＜Bonus＞
・Special booklet
・HELP EVER HURT COVER ＜11 songs＞
1. Close To You
2. Shape Of You
3. Back Stabbers
4. Alfie
5. Be Alright
6. Beat It
7. Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood
8. My Eyes Adored You
9. Shake It Off
10. Stronger Than Me
11. Time After Time

【Normal Edition】 ¥3,000(+tax) UMCK-1659
【Digital】 ¥2,100(+tax)



iTunes Store: https://itunes.apple.com/jp/artist/%E8%97%A4%E4%BA%95-%E9%A2%A8/1486113150?app=itunes&at=10I3LI&ls=1
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/artist/6bDWAcdtVR3WHz2xtiIPUi
YouTube Music: https://music.youtube.com/channel/UCxjfYUXFwmjUCGHMeBri5_w
Amazon Music: https://music.amazon.co.jp/artists/B0819FY3KC?ref=dm_sh_e043-549a-9e40-b221-a1efe
LINE MUSIC: https://music.line.me/artist/mi0000000011ec3db5

Official APP: http://c-rayon.com/fujiikaze/
Official site: http://fujiikaze.com/
Instagram: http://Instagram.com/fujiikaze
twitter: https://twitter.com/FujiiKaze



Go Home
Written by Fujii Kaze
Prod by Yaffle

Mixing Engineer Masahito Komori
Recording Engineer Yoshimasa Wakui / Daishi Iiba(birdie house)
Recorded at AOBADAI STUDIO / ABS RECORDING STUDIO
Mixed at ABS RECORDING STUDIO
Mastering Engineer Tsubasa Yamazaki
Mastered at EELOW

Drums Leon Yuki
Electric Bass Naoki Kobayashi
Percussion Takashi Fukuoka
1st Violin Rina Odera
2nd Violin Natsue Kameda　
1st Viola Mikiyo Kikuchi
2nd Viola Reiichi Tateizumi
Cello Yuki Mizuno
Acoustic Piano Fujii Kaze


You are melting into sunset
I am fading into sunrise
If our path never cross again
Then, that is the way it is

You're turning on the lamp
I'm searching for the light
We both have nothing to fear, nothing to lose
We both have nothing at all in the first place

See you, see you again
Those boys' eyes aren't innocent anymore
Those evening bells are ringing out but can't be heard anymore
That is, that is almost like
Everything seems to be over
Far from it, We've got a long way to go, and I'll never forget...

Ah Let's forget everything and go home
Ah Let everything flow away and go home
Though that scar hurts, tho this thirst never be quenched
That doesn't matter anymore, Let's blow them all away

Let's go home with a nice breeze
Let's go home with a gentle rain
What is the use of hating each other
I'm, I'm gonna be the first one to forget


You are worried about the future
I am still attached to the past
This is our last time, I'm supposed to be a God
But still we are too much human

I looked at the world without me
From above, and I found out
It keeps on turning exactly the same as always
That made me feel easy somewhat

See you, see you again
We say farewell at the right before the highway
Leaving all the hustle-bustle behind, I walk alone
Taking, All my life was about taking
And not a bit of giving
Not knowing the meaning of this life I've lived

Ah, Let's give everything and go home
Ah, With empty hands, Let's go home
What we can give is just what we are given
Let's say thank you and be honored
I'm waiting for you, Let's go home
Let's go home where happiness never ends
What can we take with us when we leave this world
Let go of the burdens we're carrying, one by one
What is the use of hating each other
I'm, I'm gonna be the first one to forget

Ah, How am I going to live from today

お久しぶりです♪
お待たせしてしまって、すみませんでした！
アメリカに引っ越して（というか帰国して）ばたばたしていましたm(_ _)m

新しい部屋から、いきものがかりの「SAKURA」の自作英語版を撮ってみました♪
今、日本はちょうど桜が咲いているところなのかな。
日本の桜を思いながら、この曲を歌いました。
気に入っていただけると嬉しいです(^^)/
Enjoy!

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Long time no see, YouTube! Sorry for the lull in the last couple of months—I recently

moved and haven't had time to make any videos for a while...

Here is my first video from my new home in the U.S., an English cover of Ikimono-gakari's

SAKURA (meaning "Cherry Blossoms"). For those of you in Japan (or somewhere with

cherry blossoms), they must be just about in bloom right now, aren't they? The blossoms in

Japan were on my mind while I sang this song. I hope you enjoy it :)

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曲情報 / SONG INFO
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いきものがかり／SAKURA
2006年リリース
作詞曲：水野良樹
英語詞： 渡辺レベッカ

Ikimono-gakari / SAKURA (Cherry Blossoms)
Released 2006
Music/Lyrics: Yoshiki Mizuno
English Lyrics: Rebecca Butler Watanabe

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リンク / LINKS
～♪～♪～♪～♪～♪～

■HP⇒ http://BlueEyedUtaUtai.jimdo.com
■Facebook⇒ http://facebook.com/blueeyedutautai
■Twitter⇒ @BlueEyedUtaUtai

■Chords
(Coming soon)

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歌詞／LYRICS
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さくら ひらひら舞い降りて落ちて
(sakura hirahira mai-orite ochite)
揺れる想いのたけを抱きしめた
(yureru omoi no take wo daki-shimeta)
君と春に願いしあの夢は
(kimi to haru ni negai-shi ano yume wa)
今も見えているよ
(ima mo miete iru yo)
さくら舞い散る
(sakura mai-chiru)

Past the windowpane of the swaying train
Traces of you by the river
On the bridge we crossed together
Colored in spring revelry
Graduation day came and took away
My love so far from this town
The flowers hanging on the boughs
Still hold those memories

But the two of us, we chose two different roads
Separated when spring came to a close
Now the future blooming in all of its glory pushes me to move on
In the train window reflected
Just the same are the cherry blossoms
And deep inside of me, your voice still lingers
Still hear it calling to me

When the cherry blossoms start to flutter down toward my feet
I let all my wavering feelings wash completely over me
Oh, the dreams we dreamt together in the spring will always be
In my heart forever and ever, as the spring begins anew

In the letter I started many times
Got as far as “I’m doing fine”
But I know that little lie will never fool you
Seasons come and go, and before I know
Spring arrives once more in this place
And the flowers bloom like always
Paint the town in vibrant hues

Every day without you that I get through
Brings adulthood closer into view
I wonder if a day will come when I forget everything
Hope you know I truly loved you
As I reach to the cherry blossoms
And everything I feel, the love and heartbreak
Is swallowed up in the spring

When the cherry blossoms start to flutter down toward my feet
I embrace the wavering feelings that are washing over me
Oh, the words so bold you gave me in the spring will always be
In my heart forever and ever, as the flowers flutter away

さくら ひらひら舞い降りて落ちて
(sakura hirahira mai-orite ochite)
揺れる想いのたけを抱きしめた
(yureru omoi no take wo daki-shimeta)

Distant days we dreamt together in the spring so long ago
Disappear up into the blue sky

Now the cherry blossoms start to flutter down toward my feet
As I walk toward the days that wait beyond the spring for me
Holding on so dearly to the dream we vowed that we would seek
In my heart forever and ever

さくら舞い散る
(sakura mai-chiru)