#那些關於產後妳所不知道的事
Janet真的是一個陽光正向的公眾人物，看著她分享的產後生活，怎麼可以把產婦產後可能碰上的煩(荒)惱(唐)事，說得好輕鬆😂應該是當了媽以後自然就會變勇者，所以什麼都無懼了💪💪💪
圖文分享來源(Janet Hsieh 謝怡芬)：https://goo.gl/w7ScZQ
#小獅王辛巴
#說說你們產後初期的心情
那些關於產後妳所不知道的事：
A few things people don’t tell you about postpartum:
The baby is out of your belly. Yay! But you will still look about 3-4 months pregnant. Sorry.
寶寶終於出來了，那肚子應該平了吧！但是對不起，妳還是會看起來像懷孕3-4個月。
You may not instantly bond with this alien looking like thing which just came out of your coochie snorter. And it’s OK to not feel that instant love. For me, it was like who is this thing?
妳可能不會馬上愛上剛剛從妳的妹妹蹦出來的寶寶。 沒關係！對我來說，我第一眼認真看著寶寶的時候心裏的OS是 “你是誰啊⋯⋯？“
You are so sore EVERYWHERE. From the labor itself (body convulsing during contractions, pushing during, well, pushing, and just your body pushing out a freaking baby).
妳全，身，都會酸痛。全身，從宮縮的時候到使勁洪荒之力想把寶寶推出來的時候無時不刻的酸！
You’re also sore down there. Everything down there is sore. And swollen. And sore. Did i mention you will be sore?
妳下體也會酸，樓下所有可以酸的地方都會酸、妳不知道可以酸的地方也會酸，酸跟腫。 還有酸。很酸。喔，我有跟妳提過會很酸嗎？
You need a squeezy bottle to wash yourself after you pee.
妳可能會需要用個手捏的噴霧罐來幫妳清洗下面尿尿的地方。
You may need to sit on a donut because there’s so much pain down there.
妳可能會需要坐在一個“甜甜圈”上面，因為妳樓下妹妹就是這麼痛，不管碰到任何東西會痛。
You may need to sit in a sitz bath which kind of reminds me of a young kid’s potty training toilet
妳可能會需要坐在一個坐浴盆上面，泡著妳的下體。這讓我想到像小孩剛學會尿尿的尿盆。
You will bleed. A lot. Or maybe not a lot. But there will be blood.
妳會流血，而且很多。或是不多， 但是會有血。
You will love granny panties. Or at least I do. But maybe I always have.
妳可能會愛上阿嬤內褲。最少，我很愛。但是可能是我從以前就很愛了。
You may be constipated. Or you may have hemorrhoids. Oh the fun!
妳可能會便秘。或是妳可能會痔瘡。好好玩喔 :( !
After all those months of sleeping on your side, you can now finally… oh wait. Nope. You still can’t sleep on your belly because your nipples are so sore (if you’re breast feeding)
經過這麼多月要側躺， 你終於可以趴著⋯⋯喔，no no，說錯了，你還是沒有辦法趴著睡覺，因為妳的乳頭（如果妳要親餵的話）會很酸。
Your nipples will progressively start to get more and more sore and painful. Oh so so painful. Boo :(
妳的奶頭會越來越酸，越來越痛，跟痛。天啊，好痛喔。 ：（
You will also eventually start to get bazookas for boobs. Yay! :)
妳會變一個大奶妹。耶！ ：）
Your neck will be sore from constantly looking down at the baby to make sure it’s feeding correctly, or making sure it’s still breathing and alive, or just because it’s so damn cute and you can’t stop yourself from looking down all the time.
妳的脖子會因為妳一直往下看而變得超級酸：妳要確認妳餵的對，或是確認寶寶還活著， 或是單純因為他太可愛了所以妳會一直往下望著他。
You won’t know night from day. Day from night.
妳不知道什麼時候是白天什麼時候是晚上。
And sleep? BAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Good one.
至於睡覺？哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈！
Thank GOD for postpartum centers like Dayeh. I honestly want to cry just thinking about what life would have been like this first week after delivering a baby if we weren’t staying here. They feed me (and George) 5 times a day, take care of me, take care of our baby, teach me how to breastfeed, teach George how to change diapers and wash baby butts (because we all know that dad’s have sanitation duty, riiiiight @George Young ?), and most importantly, they allow us to rest as much as possible.
幸好有月子中心！如果沒有 大葉產後護理之家 ，我想我真的會哭的很慘。光想著如果這個禮拜沒有他們的話我的眼睛就已經紅起來了。大葉為了我（跟George），他們的護理師們照顧我、照顧寶寶、教我如何餵奶、教George怎麼換尿布跟洗屁屁（因為我們都知道，爸爸們接下來的日子是專業的衛生工作者），然後最重要是讓我們有時間休息。
So, George Young and I have decided… Yup. We’re moving in. We’re never leaving. Sorry Dayeh! We’ve already made our room into our little studio apartment and have made this place our home. Now, can I go ahead and order that massage please?
所以我們決定了！！ 對沒有錯！ 我們要搬進來住了。永久。不好意思喔 @大葉產後護理中心！ 我們已經把我們的房間變成我們的小套房了，變成我們的家。 那麼，現在可以安排spa按摩了嗎？ 哈哈：）
