無法完成的歷險記 ◎林達陽
That in order to make a man or a boy covet a thing , it is only necessary to make the thing difficult to attain . ──《The Adventures of Tom Sawyer》
一、
我也曾於尋常的天空下翻牆而過
去浸入水中,去向有錢的人挑釁
去成為理想的夏天,或其陰影
我也曾因背誦經典而得來一把刀
得以自己描述顏色與圖形,以一種
表演形式去吸引另一種,關於神
多數時候我不打算了解太多
我耍賴:「其實,信仰也不過就是……」
就是我有很多把戲,譬如愛
或者不愛,遙遠的世界因此更值得好奇
我樂於變壞,樂於過自己的狗日子
把頭埋入風裡懶洋洋地等待,等待
一隻蟲子輕輕箝住我,給我
成為速度的理由,即使只是虛構
二、
如果這裡就是遠方,我願為了那女子的秘密
受罰,使那個秘密,變成我們的秘密
一起寫懺悔的公開信,打翻彼此的墨水
使所有的字彙混為同一意涵讓我們
監視彼此的誓諾和背叛
我們一起監視房間,監視燒開了的水
我們監視不存在的鬼也監視
鬼一般的人,監視他們成為一個個迷宮
躲在自己熟悉的那部份
驚嚇從別的部份走過來的人
監視她終於打開她的盒子
像我打開我的,從望遠鏡裡
監視兩種變異,一種似乎是愛情
另一種我已經忘記
三、
我想打撈水底星月的謎底,想成為海盜
想駕馭生活如一艘賊船,劫取意義我所相信
去違逆眾人,去敗給終將來襲的暴風雨
讓風雨逼退我們回到最初的島嶼,讓風雨
打溼我的小名如那些火花一樣的鬼點子
打濕我的髮,拈熄幻想的引信
那些炮竹也不能抵禦的愛與死,像風雨那樣淹沒
所有漂浮的節慶,往日就要變成寒冷的波浪靜靜的
漲滿四周如沸水,強迫我們示弱,強迫
我們緊緊靠著不能選擇,捲起自身成為
彼此的菸,讓閃電點燃彼此嘴中
煙霧一般的成長,風將修正我們的口音與台詞
像時間,耐心修改一個讀法正確的別字
四、
沒有光線願意探索我心,盜賊與天使
共同埋藏一場無法避免的坍塌,腐壞的
時光的行板在響,在我腳下蜘蛛張開捕夢網
沾滿明滅如神秘笑臉的水光,在遠方
眾神已經入睡,蜘蛛已經張網
如今我才明白遠方只是一個未知的
空桶子,不聲不響的空桶子
我始終躲在裡面,因嘗試獨自
打亮想像的火光,而發出聲響
註:此詩獲得第三十六屆香港青年文學獎首獎
--
◎作者簡介
林達陽(1982年-),台灣高雄人,臺灣新生代詩人、作家。高雄市立高雄高級中學畢業,輔仁大學法律學系學士,國立東華大學藝術碩士。作品以新詩、散文為主。曾獲三大報文學獎、台北文學獎、香港文學獎、教育部文藝創作獎等。高中時與高雄女中、道明中學學生共同創辦第一屆馭墨三城文學獎,推廣南部校園創作風氣。高中畢業後與高雄中學校友凌性傑、陳雋弘、黃信恩、趙家緯等人成立出版坊松濤文社,致力於出版高雄年輕創作者的文學創作。
--
◎小編皮皮賞析
〈無法完成的歷險記〉獲得2009年的第三十六屆香港青年文學獎冠軍,此首詩分成四大段,並以《湯姆歷險記》中的句子當成引言,作為全詩的開端。首先,第一段便表現出了歷險的感受,翻牆、挑釁都是為了理想,關於未知的神祇和愛,保持著一種任性的態度——並且樂於變壞,歡喜著過著「狗日子」,就算成為自由的速度是一種虛構,敘述者也不以為意。第二段,承襲了前段的不真實,作者云:「如果這就是遠方」,他願意為了女子受罰,與女子的好壞混為一談,他們好像成為一體卻又彼此觀察,最後他看著女子打開她的盒子,像打開自己的一樣——裡頭似乎是彰顯兩人關係的愛情,但更重要的或是那不可言喻的,已被遺忘。
於是,第三段,作者想要打撈謎底,他並沒有放棄他的冒險精神,所以他欲做海盜、欲違逆眾人、欲反其道而行,直面投降於眾人本會極力反坑的暴風雨。他任憑暴風雨阻退他們的去路、任憑風雨步步逼近他們,使他們沒有選擇的倚靠對方,成為對方的菸,點亮彼此,最後任由風修改我們——如同時間修改一件沒有懸念的事情。
最後一段,暴風雨似乎靜止了下來,那些光和暗、天使和盜賊,都被埋葬在相同的地方。靜止的暴風雨、入睡的神明、蜘蛛網像是捕夢網,皆是明滅一體的代表。最後一段,敘述者說,他終於明白遠方是未知的空桶子,而自己始終躲在裡面,啪嚓啪嚓的打亮火光。
十幾年後,在2020年,林達陽的〈愛與孤獨的證明〉登於聯合報,這首詩一樣節錄了一段英文句子,是英國哲學家George Berkeley提出的問題開頭:「假如一棵樹在森林裡倒下,而沒有人在附近聽見,它有沒有發出聲音?」
--
〈愛與孤獨的證明〉
“If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound? ”-George Berkeley
確實有過這樣的困惑
如果一隻蝙蝠,或海豚
被關入一只吸音良好的房間
牠覺得自由嗎?
或者牠會察覺世界不能理解
而感到敬畏
確實也曾走入荒山峽谷
谷裡的你看見了高,還是深的感覺?
在不愛的人面前你看見消逝的刻度
還是花在凋謝
天空底下你會怎樣描述熱?
山屋裡失眠的你如何祛除冷與幻覺?
打開燈,光從什麼角度照射讓你聯想太陽
影子落在身後,你在意它縮短又拉長或者
有沒有某一瞬間
你能感知它的重量?
孤單的時候偶爾
我以為自己置身曠野
能夠恨了嗎?
如果拉滿一張弓,你能不能想像一箭之遙是怎樣的地方
或許是一片垂直斷崖
崖底的樹林有纏繞小徑
樹林裡落滿了葉子,我沒有去數
認為樹林是茂密或蕭條、樹葉增加與減少
仍有一部分取決於──
上次,我是與誰走進這片林地
那時世界仍有春日的茂密──
(當我輸入「茂密」,電腦根據數據判斷
顯示這裡要寫:貓咪
換毛的季節裡我們曾為同一隻貓過敏
打著噴嚏,紅了眼睛
但顯然貓並不清楚這之間發生了什麼事情)
貓咪後來不見了,那我呢?
穿過樹林五十步,湖邊有一小屋
以前我們總說這五十步是有意義的
來回五十便是一百
兩個五十也是一百
五十步笑一百步
「來此寧靜生活的他
嘲笑終究要回到樹林以外世界的我們」
我彷彿仍能聽見妳這樣說,像轉述別人的故事
貝殼一般的牙齒輕輕咬合
在風的潮汐裡發出微弱的聲波
微弱是相對而言
「微弱」是比妳的唇比我的喉結更平的一條弧線
我坐下來,空無一人的深山裡
試圖說話但覺得徒勞
沒有人知道,那時我們發明那麼多的符號與定義
那麼努力記錄的蛛絲馬跡
也不過想證明
在蜘蛛幾何複雜的織網與馬匹奔跑來回的軌跡之前
世界簡簡單單
曾有人走過大山大海
在此歸納經驗與想像,砍樹造屋
私密而熱切地動用全部勇氣
嘗試要在群星與眾神的注視下找尋一種
關於愛的定律
--
首段接續引言的疑問,作者思考:如果是蝙蝠、海豚被關在吸音良好的房間內,會覺得自由,或是敬畏不能理解的世界?接著,作者繼續追問,在谷底,你的感受是什麼?如何描述幻覺?如果除去冷?有沒有感受到影子的重量?
再來,作者切入了題目所提及——孤獨。孤單有時候讓人以為置身曠野,但我們卻無法猜測一箭之遙的地方發生了什麼事,如同一箭之遙外的地方,無法得知樹木是否倒塌。更精確的說,並不是無法得知,而是決定權本就不在自己的手上,在與我走入樹林的人。於是「我們」出現了,我們過敏於同一隻貓,像是〈無法完成的歷險記〉中的我們一起監視房間,然而貓不清楚發生了什麼事,就像我們所監視的,竟是不存在的鬼,「我們」身處的位置距離另外一方十分遙遠。盒子被打開了、貓咪後來不見了;前者的我們退回島嶼、後者回到樹林以外的世界。〈愛與孤獨的證明〉的最後一段,神明與蜘蛛等意象又出現了。全知全能的神明,在歷險記中睡著了,但在愛裡睜著雙眼注視一切;而蜘蛛編織的密網,證明了種種幽微的發生。
綜觀兩首詩,皆以一段引用的英文句子涵蓋整首詩,並從我的角度出發,延伸到我們,我們與他者之間,最後再安安靜靜的回歸自身,乃至詩題。因此小編認為,林達陽就像那隻默默編織細網的蜘蛛,他的意象縝密並且互相承接、變形、纏繞,最後乾淨的收束,風格可說是一致且明確。
--
|#關於文學獎的不重要冷知識|
「怎麼寫」可能還是比「寫什麼」重要,內容比主題重要。我挑選時的標準,第一個還是看文字的處理,若文字水準相近,我就從中挑選出主題較特別的。
——陳育虹,2016年林榮三文學獎評審紀錄
--
美術設計:驀地
圖片來源:Unsplash
#每天為你讀一首詩 #文學獎 #香港青年文學獎 #林達陽 #湯姆歷險記 #冒險 #孤獨
https://cendalirit.blogspot.com/2021/04/20210404.html
covet 字根 在 謙預 Qianyu.sg Facebook 的最佳貼文
【解開人生謎題的寶書】(English writing below)
「師姐,簽書號已經發完了耶!」
地點:台灣雷藏寺的大燈文化攤位。
我一手抓著根本上師聖尊蓮生活佛的新書《我所知道的佛陀:如是我聞》,一手拿著錢要付款。
「沒關係,師兄,沒有師尊的簽名,我還是想買這本書。」我微笑著回答,感謝他的熱心提醒。
我喜歡紙本書。家裡整堵牆的書架,都是師尊的書。
我甚少在雷藏寺買師尊的書。一般來說,師尊推出新書時,我都會在新加坡的紀伊國屋書店購買,希望藉此能推廣師尊的文集在寺廟以外的地方。用錢買書,也是我出點微薄之力,代表我對作者付出的支持。
有師尊簽書固然是錦上添花,但能不能開悟,還是需要自己的努力。
初聽師尊宣布這書名《我所知道的佛陀:如是我聞》時,我頓時倍感親切。
每個人信佛的起點都不一樣。有的人是因爲篤信觀世音菩薩,而皈依佛門,我則是因爲「南無本師釋迦牟尼佛」。
在大學佛學會時,我常去本地的一間斯里蘭卡佛寺參拜佛陀,繞菩提樹。好幾年的時間,我在那兒,向佛陀述說了很多、很多我的苦楚,我的煩惱,有時候邊說,邊繞菩提樹,繞了無數圈,就連第一次失戀,也在臥佛前哭了兩個小時。
那時,我不明白為什麼人家做人,我也做人,但我無論怎麼努力,卻特別的苦。我一直求佛陀告訴我:我爲什麼要活著?我爲什麼要來到人間?我要怎麼改命?
當然,在壇城上的佛陀怎麼會開口跟這「怨女」說話呢?
我把打工的錢存起來,買一尊佛像,拿去開光,安在書房內。後來媽媽因爲某事生我氣,趁我不在時,把佛像仍掉。我畢業就職後,又請了一尊。傻傻的我以為那兩尊都是釋迦牟尼佛,其實祂們都是「大日如來」。
我想,這應該是我五年後皈依師尊的因緣之一。
.
2013年,西雅圖雷藏寺開創一個新聞單元《如是我聞》,報導師尊的日常法教。小女子我自告奮勇拉著我師兄一起爲官網,把幾篇《如是我聞》翻譯成英文,回饋師尊的無私奉獻與教導。
從台灣飛回新加坡的航班上,我閱讀了師尊新書《我所知道的佛陀:如是我聞》兩個小時。
我忽然恍然大悟,十九年前,常跑到釋迦牟尼佛跟前訴苦的那個少女,原來佛陀真的聽到了她的哀求,沒有讓它落空。
理科班的我,從小就對這世界很好奇。家裡的百科全書,十年來,我從頭到尾都讀了至少百遍,但總覺得人要懂的知識,不該只有這些。
皈依師尊前,我曾讀過、聽過很多有名出家人的法語開示,無論是講中文或英文的。他們都講得很好,但是,唯有蓮生活佛的開示和文集,徹底的解除我自幼對於人生和宇宙的迷惑。
尤其是這本書。
原來在科學之外,還有這樣一個空間、一種能量和宇宙能力場存在著。
皈依學佛,就是學佛陀的教義,目的就是要成佛。
可怎樣的佛弟子,才是釋迦牟尼佛認可的弟子?
我們人要如何離苦得樂?如何去馴服自己狂野的心?如何從凡夫身回歸本來的面目?什麼又是原本的自己?
那天,師父問一位少女:「妳想學佛,那妳知道佛教教主是誰嗎?」
她已閱讀完師父在臉書2013年至2019年的文章,卻一個字都說不出。
切勿把佛法當成普通的人間知識來看待,更不要以學佛爲名,利用其知識賺錢做生意爲實。販賣如來,可是下地獄吞熾熱鐵丸、喝滾燙鐵汁之罪啊!
.
我去台灣前,師父交代過要我到台北101拍照,於是我就抱著師尊的書去。
玳瑚師父教過,台北101是現代版的文昌塔。
古時候,文昌已甚被重視,因爲利於讀書、功名和事業。在沒有某種形式的山脈時,就會建文昌塔(又稱文峰塔)來催旺文人輩出。
古代有文昌塔,現代有台北101。
古代有佛陀初傳四聖諦,現代有蓮生法王繼續的轉法輪。
而人呢?從古至今,仍然在醉生夢死中。
一般人要文昌,因爲追求功名。但我對人間的智慧,已意興闌珊。我要文昌,因爲希望早日開竅,拜託,不要那麽笨 ~~
無論你是剛接觸佛法,還是皈依許久的老弟子,如果你和我一樣追求生命的實相,這本書裡的般若智慧必會讓你大開眼界、讚歎連連。
你到底有多認識佛陀呢?
.
我大力推薦此書,可到以下書局網購,或到真佛般若藏免費閱讀電子書或聆聽有聲書:
1) 新加坡紀伊書店 - https://singapore.kinokuniya.com/bw/9789573052654
2) 台灣金石堂 - https://www.kingstone.com.tw/basics/basics.asp?kmcode=2012000022409&lid=common-index-billboard-all&actid=bookindex
3) 真佛般若藏 - https://www.tbboyeh.org/cht#/store
.....................
"Dharma Sister, the numbers for book signing have all been given out!"
Venue: Daden Culture book stall at Taiwan Lei Tsang Temple
I was holding on to "The Buddha I Know: Thus Have I Heard", the latest book by my Root Guru, His Holiness Living Buddha Lian Sheng, with my other hand grasping onto the cash, wanting to pay for the book.
"No problem, Dharma Brother. Without the autograph of Grandmaster, I would still wish to buy this book." I smiled in reply, thanking him for his friendly reminder.
I prefer reading from an actual book over an ebook. Back at home, I have one full wall of my Grandmaster's books on my bookshelves.
I rarely buy my Grandmaster's books from Lei Tsang temples. Usually, for His latest release, I would buy from Singapore Kinokuniya book store. It is my hope that this little gesture would help to boost sales at external bookstores, so that my Grandmaster's books can continue to be sold beyond the temples. To pay for it is my small token of appreciation and support for the author's effort.
To have my Grandmaster's autograph on the book is, of course, covetable, but whether the I can attain enlightenment is still dependant on my hard work.
When I first heard my Grandmaster announcing the book title "The Buddha I Know: Thus Have I Heard", I immediately felt a sense of closeness.
Everybody has a different starting point for believing in the Buddha. There are some people who are devoted to Guan Shi Yin Bodhisattva, and hence take refuge. For me, it was because of Shakyamuni Buddha.
During my NUS Buddhist Society days, I often visited a Sri Lanka Buddhist temple in Singapore. I would pay homage to Buddha and circumambulate the Bodhi tree. For many years, I would be at the temple regurgitating my troubles and sufferings to Buddha. Sometimes, I would circumambulate endless rounds around the Bodhi tree while being troubled. When my first relationship failed, I cried in front of the Sleeping Buddha for 2 hours.
At that time, I didn't understand why my life was tougher than other people, no matter how much effort I poured in. I kept pleading to Buddha for an answer. For what am I alive for? Why do I have to come to this mortal world? What can I do to improve my life?
Naturally, how could the Buddha that sat on the altar literally speak to this resentful girl?
With the money I scrimped and saved working part-time during my uni days, I bought a Buddha statue and after having it consecrated, I enshrined the statue in my study room. Once, when my mum was angry with me over some issue, she threw away the Buddha statue while I was out.
Upon graduation, I bought another Buddha statue. The silly me assumed that both statues are of Shakyamuni Buddha when in fact, they were of Mahāvairocana Buddha.
I guess this must be one affinity why I took refuge in my Grandmaster 5 years later.
In 2013, Seattle Lei Tsang Temple started a new column "Thus Have I Heard", reporting on the daily Dharma teachings of Grandmaster. Dragging the husband along, we volunteered to translate a few of the reports into English for the official website. It was our little way to repay Grandmaster for his selfless contributions and teachings.
Now you know why I took a liking to the book title almost immediately.
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On the flight back from Taiwan, I read the book for about 2 hours.
I suddenly had a realisation. The young lady that cried and bemoaned her fate in front of Shakyamuni Buddha 19 years ago had her prayers answered after all. Buddha did hear her pleas and did not let her prayers go unfulfilled.
I was a Science student and since young, I was full of curiosity for this world. The encyclopaedia I had at home had been read at least 100 times over 10 years. But I had always felt that the knowledge humans need to know should be more than that.
Before taking refuge in Grandmaster, I had read, watched and listened to many Dharma discourses expounded by many famous Venerables, both in English and Chinese. They all explained the teachings of Buddha very well.
However, only Living Buddha Lian-Sheng could thoroughly answer my conundrums about life and this universe, through His Dharma discourses and books.
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Especially in this book.
Apart from the science that we know, there is indeed another dimension of existence, another field of energy from the Universe.
When we take refuge to learn the Dharma, we are essentially learning what the Buddha had taught. The sole purpose is to eventually attain Buddhahood.
But do you know, just what kind of Buddhists are recognised by Shakyamuni Buddha as true disciples?
And how can we humans break free from sufferings and achieve bliss? How can we tame the wild minds in us? How do we return to our true self from this mortal body?
Just what actually is our true nature?
That day, Shifu asked a young lady, "You say you wish to learn the Dharma. Then do you know who is the founder of Buddhism?"
She had read all of Shifu's FB articles from 2013-2019, but was unable to reply.
Do not treat the Buddhadharma as ordinary mortal knowledge, let alone masquerade under the name of learning the Dharma, but in reality, using the knowledge to make more money and build a business. Peddling the Buddha for self-profit is a sin that would have you swallowing red hot iron balls and drinking boiling hot liquid iron in Hell!
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Before my trip to Taiwan, Shifu told me to take a photo with Taipei 101. So I went there with my Grandmaster's book.
Master Dai Hu had taught me, Taipei 101 is the modern-day version of Wen Chang Pagoda.
In ancient times, Wen Chang is highly valued, because it favours the academics, scholarly achievements and career. When a certain mountain form is lacking in certain geographical locations, a Wen Chang Pagoda ( also known as Wen Feng Pagoda) would be constructed to activate and encourage the birth of more scholarly people.
So in the old days, there is the Wen Chang Pagoda, and now we have the Taipei 101.
In the past, there is Buddha who first expounded on the Four Noble Truths. And now, we have His Holiness, Dharma King Lian Sheng, to continue turning the Wheel of Dharma.
What about humans? Throughout history, humans have lived a befuddled existence. Even till now.
Most people want Wen Chang because they pursue fame and recognition. I covet Wen Chang, because I hope to get enlightened sooner. Oh please, let me be less stupid...
Whether you are new to the teachings of Buddha, or a Buddhist disciple for years, if you are pursuing the ultimate truth of Life like me, this book will open up your eyes and have you singing in praises.
Just how well do you know Buddha?
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I strongly recommend this book and you can purchase it online at the links below, or hop over to True Buddha Prajna Treasury to read the ebook or listen to the audiobook for free.
1) Kinokuniya Singapore - https://singapore.kinokuniya.com/bw/9789573052654
2) Kingstone Taiwan - https://www.kingstone.com.tw/basics/basics.asp?kmcode=2012000022409&lid=common-index-billboard-all&actid=bookindex
3) 真佛般若藏 True Buddha Prajna Treasury - https://www.tbboyeh.org/cht#/store