There’s rhythm in writing! 🎶
這個禮拜Presentality的Andrew來分享英文寫作的節奏!
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我的工作需要看非常多的英文。
其中有英文母語的人寫的,也有非母語的人寫的。最近,我注意到一個兩者之間很明顯的差別。這個差別很少有人提到,因為它無關文法正確,也不是有學問的用語,或是文雅的詞彙。
是句子的長短。
Well,更正確的來說,是長句跟短句的交錯。我發現,非母語人士寫的英文句子,不但比英文母語的人寫的長,而且是大部分句子都很長。
母語的人,尤其是很會寫的人,則是會把長句跟短句混合搭配。
那又怎樣?
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你可能會說 ok,以英文為母語的人比較會用短的句子,那又怎樣?句子的長短,跟我寫作的好壞,有關嗎?
關係可大了。
就像音樂,或是影片,文字也是「內容」。只要是「內容」,就有它的節奏。你可以想像一首曲子,從頭到尾都是很長的音,而且一點變化都沒有嗎?或是一部很長的影片,從頭到尾都是很長的畫面,而且一點節奏的變化都沒有嗎?
Well actually,你應該可以想像,這些就是要幫助我們睡眠的。
如果你不想要你的讀者覺得無聊或甚至睡著,我建議適度變換你文字的節奏。
但我們先看案例。
我拿一篇台灣人寫的文,跟另一篇美國人寫的,來做比較:把每個句子都分拆成不同的段落,句子的長短就一目了然了。
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但我們先看案例。
我拿一篇台灣人寫的文,跟另一篇美國人寫的,來做比較:把每個句子都分拆成不同的段落,句子的長短就一目了然了。
📌 台灣案例:Taipei Times Opinion
1. The TAIEX last month rose above 17,000 points as rallies in steel, shipping and some non-tech stocks offset a weakness in semiconductor and electronics stocks.
2. While news about a cluster of local COVID-19 infections connected with China Airlines cargo pilots and a hotel in Taoyuan fueled selling pressure early this month and pushed the local stock market into consolidation mode, the daily market turnover in the first two trading sessions of this month hit fresh highs.
3. Moreover, Taiwan’s stock trading volume last month began to surpass that of Hong Kong for the first time in 15 years, which was beyond most market participants’ expectations.
4. Taiwan’s daily market turnover exceeding Hong Kong’s might gradually become a new normal from this year, and there are good reasons for this.
5. First, Hong Kong’s stock market has lost its appeal to foreign investors since China last year imposed national security legislation on the territory, triggering a potential flight of capital and talent.
6. Second, many wealthy Taiwanese tend to park their overseas funds in Hong Kong, China, Singapore, Switzerland and the US, but government statistics showed that more than 80 percent of funds repatriated by wealthy individuals last year were from Hong Kong, as they saw the political situation in the territory worsen after its self-governance, human rights and freedom of speech were further suppressed.
7. Third, China’s new NASDAQ-style stock board — the Shanghai Stock Exchange’s STAR board — has emerged as a fast-growing capital markets center for Chinese companies at a time when rising China-US tensions have triggered concerns about their prospects of listing in New York, posing a growing challenge to the Hong Kong stock exchange.
8. On the other hand, Taiwan’s economic fundamentals, the central bank’s adoption of extraordinary monetary easing and the government’s fiscal policies have fueled continued rallies in the nation’s stock market since last year.
9. It might be too early to tell how long the consolidation trend might last, as a resurgent COVID-19 outbreak is coloring the global economic outlook, but some insight can be drawn from the stock market:
10. Taiwan’s GDP grew a larger-than-expected 8.16 percent in the first quarter, as exports and private investment remained healthy.
都是一堆很長的句子對不對?我們來看美國人寫的句子,也是一個主流媒體的 opinion 文。
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📌 美國案例:New York Times Opinion
1. I miss torturing Liz Cheney.
2. But it must be said that the petite blonde from Wyoming suddenly seems like a Valkyrie amid halflings.
3. She is willing to sacrifice her leadership post — and risk her political career — to continue calling out Donald Trump’s Big Lie.
4. She has decided that, if the price of her job is being as unctuous to Trump as Kevin McCarthy is, it isn’t worth it, because McCarthy is totally disgracing himself.
5. It has been a dizzying fall for the scion of one of the most powerful political families in the land, a conservative chip off the old block who was once talked about as a comer, someone who could be the first woman president.
6. How naïve I was to think that Republicans would be eager to change the channel after Trump cost them the Senate and the White House and unleashed a mob on them.
7. I thought the Donald would evaporate in a poof of orange smoke, ending a supremely screwed-up period of history.
8. But the loudest mouth is not shutting up.
9. And Republicans continue to listen, clinging to the idea that the dinosaur is the future.
10. “We can’t grow without him,” Lindsey Graham said.
📌 Note: 即使是比較長的句子,這位作者也會用標點符號拆散它:She is willing to sacrifice her leadership post — and risk her political career — to continue calling out Donald Trump’s Big Lie. 這就好比用句點一樣,讓我們讀起來有點停頓休息的時間。
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📌 注意到了嗎?
台灣人寫的英文,句子都偏長,而且長度都差不多。
美國人寫的就不一樣了:一個只有五個字的句子開頭,然後一堆稍微長一點的句子,然後再來一串短句。
你可能懷疑我故意挑選很極端了例子出來,而且幹嘛專門打台灣人呢?
所以想到這裡,我從我的書架上,隨便挑了兩本跟科技有關的書出來。左邊的,是美國人,矽谷知名投資人 Peter Thiel。右邊的是德國人,但注意了,是一個英文非常好的德國人。他不但是世界經濟論壇的創辦人,研究所也是在哈佛大學唸的。
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📌 兩本書 Introduction 是怎麼寫的?
Klaus Schwab (德國):
Of the many diverse and fascinating challenges we face today, the most intense and important is how to understand and shape the new technology revolution, which entails nothing less than a transformation of humankind.
We are at the beginning of a revolution that is fundamentally changing the way we live, work, and relate to one another.
In its scale, scope and complexity, what I consider to be the fourth industrial revolution is unlike anything humankind has experienced before.
Peter Thiel (美國):
Whenever I interview someone for a job, I like to ask this question: "What important truth do very few people agree with you on?"
The question sounds easy because it's straightforward.
Actually, it's very hard to answer.
It's intellectually difficult because the knowledge that everyone is taught in school is by definition agreed upon.
See the difference?
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📌 如何變換節奏呢?
需要Andrew的完整分享請留言「There’s rhythm in writing~」。
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[VIDEO] https://focustaiwan.tw/video/004337483
As the number of #COVID19 cases continues to rise in Taiwan, to more than 8,500 cases and more than 120 deaths by late May, many Taiwanese people have realized what international experts may have known all along – that the only way to prevent the coronavirus from spreading is by vaccinating the population. But Taiwan has one of the lowest vaccination rates in the world – currently at a little over 1 percent of the population. That’s partly because of inadequate vaccines available in Taiwan and initial hesitancy in taking the AstraZeneca vaccine, the only one available until recently. Now that people realize simply closing borders and enforcing strict quarantines are not enough to keep the virus out, they are eager to get vaccinated. But when will more vaccines become available and why has Taiwan been slower than many countries in obtaining vaccines and vaccinating its population?
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若有一天,香港失去了《蘋果日報》,希望大家也不要失散。
Apple Daily 英文專欄:
After the media, landlords will be the next target
https://hk.appledaily.com/opinion/20210517/BIW343AKIRHSTGFFTVT4Q26I7I/
This is a game of boiling frogs. Protesters and politicians are the first group of people to be snatched. The message is that “only a small number of people” are targeted. The aim is to create a deterrence effect. I won’t go into detail here as there are only so many column inches. Meanwhile, some outspoken media outlets are being sorted out. For example, leading journalists of the mainstream outlet Cable TV (1097.HK) have resigned en masse not long ago, and Bao Choy, a producer of RTHK’s “Hong Kong Connection”, was prosecuted last month.
In the latest incident, the government has frozen Jimmy Lai’s assets, including 71.26 percent of his shares in Apple Daily’s parent company Next Digital (0282.HK), of which he is the major shareholder, as well as his holdings in three other private companies held in local banks.
After sorting out members of the opposition and media outlets that monitor the government, the focus of the game will be shifted to landlords, in similar vein as the Land Reform launched by Mao Zedong in the 1950s that saw the confiscation of landlords’ land.
Having collected in April a plot of land in Kam Sheung Road from CK Asset (1113.HK) and Henderson Land (0012.HK), citing the Land Resumption Ordinance, the government brandished its sword to Sun Hung Kai Properties (0016.HK) and New World Development (0017.HK), seizing from them plots of land in Yuen Long and Fanling this month, on grounds that it needs to build subsidized housing. So Hong Kong’s four biggest property developers have all got their fair share of being targeted, and Yuen Long rural leaders who gained notoriety in 2019 are not spared either.
Offering rewards based on merits is not an approach the current regime adopts. Following the 1967 riots, the British colonial government rewarded rural villages for showing it support during the riots by launching the Small Housing Policy (also known as the “Ding House Policy”) that took effect in December 1972. But rural leaders today will not see a replay of that. In 2019, they went to great lengths to help the authorities. Alas, some ding house landlords have recently been arrested by the Independent Commission Against Corruption, and some other rural villagers have had their ancestral houses seized by the government on grounds of the Land Resumption Ordinance.
Today, the ordinance can be used to target anyone, and no one can figure out the government’s land seizure strategy. The plots collected by the government are not those that have long remained undeveloped but those with clearly laid out development plans. Apparently, what the government is doing has no logic. On the face of it, it occupies the moral high ground, when in fact it may just want to demonstrate its authority.
On the internal side of things, the Hong Kong government and its disciplinary forces are on life support as they have been deprived of their real power. Externally, politicians, the media, businessmen and the rural elite are being targeted. Who will be the next target? Taking reference from the history of certain political party, one may note that there are not only licensed thugs but also unlicensed ones who are active in the underground economy. Who will call the shot after midnight in Hong Kong tomorrow? What do you think?
In the movie “Men Suddenly in Black”, Ninth Uncle and his buddies secretly went to a nightclub, only to be busted by their wives. To help his brothers flee, Ninth Uncle sacrificed himself. In today’s Hong Kong, who is Ninth Uncle? While you guys are having fun, have you ever spared a thought for Ninth Uncle? Or will you be the next Ninth Uncle?
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