Blog 10
It's always when I need to sleep the most that I'm the most inspired to do certain things that are unimportant- like writing a blog, the night before a SUPER important MV shoot. So may this be a short one. (lol nvm)
I really think that the music industry as a whole is changing and shifting so much that no one knows what the real rules are. I'm not one to really know how to boast or sell myself, I just consider myself a very insanely lucky girl who has been able experience many things that many music lovers would dream of doing. And I used the word "experience" and not "achieve" or "accomplish" because well... I think experience is the better word. I count it as a blessing to be able to do those things, and I count my hard work as a given. There has been times where I was severely burnt out, severely lost, and downright depressed for some periods of time, but I only experience them to grow and be stronger. They are just all a part of the human experience; what it means to be alive.
Tomorrow is a big and special day - after months and months of waiting, after countless date changes, it has finally come, and we can finally shoot our next music video. It's a very intimate song, and it's a song where Pong Nan's lyrics really made me cry till no end. It's moving because it's true, and reality is sometimes brutal, but beautiful also because of it.
I have no regrets with every imperfection in my career, because it made me who I am, and I'm grateful for it all, because if anyone else said their careers were perfect, well they're all liars. The key is still the attitude, and how you choose to react to the world around you. I used to be so positive in the early stages - and now, having been through so much, I still am, and even more so now. I used to be so scared of people judging me, so scared of people misunderstanding me, so scared of people not giving me credit for my hard work, my songs, my video directing and editing, and everything in between. I used to be soooo insecure when people put me in the "rich kid" box that I overcompensate and work even harder, only to find out there is no happiness in trying to trump something that cannot be trumped. But this is all me, my work, my drive, determination, and persistence, as well as all the things I was simply blessed with and did not earn. That latter part is also me, I used to push that part of me so far away from myself... but now I'm finally very slowly coming to terms with it in a more public sense. Now I just know better that I am who I am- the complexity of it all, with all of the nuances and cracks and broken pieces, but also all the blessings, gifts, and the shimmer. If some people are going to hate what I can't change anyway, there's no point in my hiding anything away really. Perhaps I'm too honest of a person, but I really don't have any mystery about me. If mystery is marketable, then I'm not marketable lol. Oh well. Thanks for loving the unmarketable me, anyway.
Regardless, I'm so excited for what's ahead, and I'm so excited to continue to take you on my journey.
Good night, if you're still up; good morning, if you were asleep when I posted.
Always choose love, and bring light.
Robynn
#robynnblogs
