【I think I’m good enough to get a promotion.】
連假後第一天工作日，來聊聊升遷小故事
升不上去到底哪裡出了錯？
以下為 Sonny 老師第一視角撰寫
Sonny老師的翻譯&教學札記
（故事經歷已經當事人同意後分享）
-
你知道英文寫作的好壞
可能影響你的職涯甚至人生嗎？
去年有位中階主管來找我求救
他在公司的績效很不錯
工作態度積極、待人客氣和善
但申請了很多次升遷或外派
都屢屢碰壁
他說高階主管全是英語人士
懷疑自己的溝通是不是出了問題
我聽完馬上就跟他說：
可以借我看看你寫的 e-mail 嗎？
不看則已，一看差點昏去（台語）
申請升遷的那篇 e-mail 破綻百出
而且 1️⃣ 第一句就有很大的問題：
I think I’m good enough to get a promotion.
除了信件沒有適當的開頭之外
怎麼會用這麼直接的語氣「要求」升遷呢？
於是我開始跟他講解正式信件
寫作時的原則和概念
請他盡量使用：
This letter is to request a promotion from my current role of ______ to the open role of ______. 這樣的句型和語氣
2️⃣ 第二個比較大的問題
是他雖然有良好的績效和表現
卻沒有具體、量化地描述出來
只寫了：
My excellent performance has increased sales since 2018.
於是我建議他改成：
During the past three years, I have boosted product sales by 12%, trained 15 junior employees, and saved departmental cost by 10%.
用「平行結構」(parallelism) 的方式
把自己成就的細節一一描述出來
3️⃣ 最後，他的信件用 Best 來結尾
稍嫌不夠正式
我建議他改成 Sincerely
向他講解完所有信件細節後
我請他下一封 promotion request 就這樣寫
然後祝他好運
就在上週
我收到了他的感謝信
說成功拿到了外派美國的高階職位
負責面試的主管還跟他說
他的 e-mail 寫得很不錯
這讓我覺得非常開心
果然不好的寫作就像一塊 #絆腳石
好的寫作卻像一塊 #敲門磚
可以幫你開啟無限的機會
-
Sonny 老師是台灣浩首席筆譯老師
7 年來，我一路看著老師
如何投入研發心力
打造台灣同學的優質英文寫作課程
老師最近和 Hahow 好學校
合作了「寫作學習計畫」
讓同學到 10/16 23:59 前
都能享 85 折優惠價格
真心大推給想學好英文寫作的你：
https://hahow.in/cr/sonny-eng-writing2
#email真的很重要
#聽說筆譯班的大家都被噹過一波🤫
#不斷注意細節是進步的關鍵
sincerely翻譯 在 [外絮] Jerry West要求HBO影集"勝利時刻"道歉- 看板NBA 的推薦與評價
來源: https://pse.is/444qhg ESPN
Former Los Angeles Lakers executive Jerry West is demanding a retraction and
an apology for what he called "a baseless and malicious assault" on his
character in the HBO series "Winning Time," in a letter sent Tuesday evening
by his legal team to the network and producer Adam McKay that was obtained by
ESPN.
根據ESPN收到來自前洛杉磯湖人管理層Jerry West法律團隊給製片人Adam McKay的律師信
,West要求HBO影集"勝利時刻"撤回並針對影集中對於他"無根據且惡意的攻擊"道歉。
West's lawyers allege that "Winning Time falsely and cruelly portrays Mr.
West as an out-of-control, intoxicated rage-aholic," saying that "bears no
resemblance to the real man." They ask for a retraction no later than two
weeks from the receipt of the letter.
West的律師指控"勝利時刻虛假的且殘忍的描繪West先生為一名無法控制自己情緒的暴躁
人士,"並指稱"跟真實人物完全沒有任何相似可言。"他們要求在該律師函寄出後兩周內要
撤回該角色。
"The portrayal of NBA icon and L.A. Lakers legend Jerry West in 'Winning
Time' is fiction pretending to be fact -- a deliberately false
characterization that has caused great distress to Jerry and his family,"
said Skip Miller, a partner at the Miller Barondess LLP law firm in Los
Angeles and attorney for West. "Contrary to the baseless portrayal in the HBO
series, Jerry had nothing but love for and harmony with the Lakers
organization, and in particular owner Dr. Jerry Buss, during an era in which
he assembled one of the greatest teams in NBA history.
"在劇中對於NBA門面及湖人傳奇Jerry West的描繪是預設為現實的創作--這個故意捏造的
角色塑造造成Jerry及他的家人極大的困擾,"Skip Miller, Miller Barondess法律事務所
的合夥人之一且為West的代表律師表示。"與HBO劇中毫無根據的描繪相對的,Jerry對湖人
球團並沒有怨懟且只有愛與和諧,尤其是與前老闆Jerry Buss博士,在湖人是NBA史上最偉
大的球隊之一時
"Jerry West was an integral part of the Lakers and NBA's success. It is a
travesty that HBO has knowingly demeaned him for shock value and the pursuit
of ratings. As an act of common decency, HBO and the producers owe Jerry a
public apology and at the very least should retract their baseless and
defamatory portrayal of him."
"Jerry West在湖人及NBA的成功是不可或缺的一部分。HBO為了譁眾取寵與追求收視率而公
開的貶低West是一個滑稽的行為。為了West在大眾的形象,HBO與其製作人欠Jerry一個公
開的道歉且至少應該要撤回他們對West無根據且毀謗性的演繹。"
West's lawyers said HBO's disclaimer that the series is a dramatization does
not insulate the network from liability.
HBO did not immediately respond to or comment on West's letter.
West的律師說HBO對此劇的免責聲明並沒有消除此劇與現實生活責任的連結。
HBO並沒有立刻對West的律師信進行回應或是評論。
The series, which has been airing on Sunday nights this spring on HBO, is
based on author Jeff Pearlman's book "Showtime: Magic, Kareem, Riley, and the
Los Angeles Lakers Dynasty of the 1980s."
勝利時刻：湖人王朝崛起這個春季每周日晚上上映,是根據作家Jeff Pearlman的著作"
Showtime: 魔術,卡里姆,萊利及1980湖人王朝"進行改編。
West's lawyers allege that the series creators acted with "legal malice"
because many scenes in the series showing West's purported rage did not
appear in Pearlman's book and did not happen. The letter includes statements
from former players such as Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, Michael Cooper and Jamaal
Wilkes, as well as Lakers employees such as Claire Rothman, Charlene Kenney,
Bob Steiner and Mitch Kupchak who worked with West during the time period
covered in the show, denying that they ever saw him commit any of the
rage-filled acts or drink alcohol in the office, as depicted in the series.
West的律師指控該劇集的製作者表現出了"法律上的惡意"因為劇中許多鏡頭都包含了
Pearlman書中並無敘述的傳說中的惡劣脾氣。這封信包含了許多球員,包含賈霸,古柏與威
克斯及一些湖人員工Rothman, Kenney,Steiner與Kupchak這些在這段時間與West共事的人
們且也有出現在劇裡的角色的聲明,否認了他們有在任何時間看過West有因憤怒而失控的
行為或是在辦公室裡喝酒(這些場景皆有在劇中詳細敘述)。
"Instead of exploring his issues with compassion as a way to better
understand the man, they turn him into a Wile E. Coyote cartoon to be laughed
at," Abdul-Jabbar said in a statement. "He never broke golf clubs, he didn't
throw his trophy through the window. Sure, those actions make dramatic
moments, but they reek of facile exploitation of the man rather than
exploration of character."
"比起用同理心來探索West這名人物,他們直接把West變成一個如同威利狼(美國經典卡通角
色)的丑角"賈霸聲明。"他從沒弄壞高爾夫球桿,從沒把獎盃往窗戶外亂丟。當然,這些舉
動可以說是為了戲劇效果,但他們決定要輕率地詮釋West而非好好探索這名角色。"
Rothman, who ran operations at the Great Western Forum for over 20 years and
is portrayed by Gaby Hoffmann in the series, said, "Jerry treated me and
everyone else in the Lakers organization with dignity and respect. I never
saw Jerry break or throw anything in anger or rage nor did I hear anyone ever
say he did such things."
Rothman,經營Great Western論壇長達20年且由Gaby Hoffmann飾演,說"Jerry對我與其他
在湖人球團工作的人非常的尊重且體面。我從沒見過Jerry因為憤怒破壞或是亂扔任何東西
也沒聽說過任何人說他做過這類事情。"
Kupchak, now the Charlotte Hornets' general manager, played for the Lakers
from 1981 to 1986 and then worked alongside West in the Lakers' front office
from 1986 to 2000.
Kupchak,現任黃蜂GM,曾經在1981至1986為湖人打球並在1986至2000年加入湖人制服組與
West一起工作。
"During my time with the Lakers as a player and in the front office, Jerry
was always professional, even-keeled and soft-spoken," Kupchak said. "He was
always positive and encouraging with me. I also found Jerry to be honest and
sincere. I never saw or heard Jerry lose his temper with anyone. I also never
saw or heard Jerry go on an angry rant or tirade, nor did I ever see or hear
Jerry scream or yell at anyone. That was not his personality. Jerry is
soft-spoken and does not like confrontation. He always keeps his composure
and remains calm even when he has a disagreement with someone. Last, I've
never heard or seen Jerry ever break or throw anything in anger."
"在我在湖人身為球員與制服組的時期,Jerry一直都非常專業,平穩且語氣柔和,"Kupchak
說。"他跟我在一起的時候永遠非常正面且振奮人心。我也發覺Jerry是非常誠實且誠懇。
我從沒見過或聽過Jerry對任何人發飆。我也從沒看過或聽過Jerry憤怒的責罵他人,也沒
看過或聽過Jerry對任何人大吼或是尖叫。那就不是他的個性。Jerry語氣柔和且並不喜歡
與任何人有衝突。他永遠保持他的鎮定並在與別人意見不合時維持冷靜。最後,我從沒聽
過或看過Jerry有因憤怒破壞或者是投擲任何東西。"
West's lawyers said he is due a retraction, an apology and damages from HBO
and the show's producers because "the show goes out of its way to denigrate
Jerry West despite his accomplishments as an executive."
West的律師說他預期要有一個撤回,道歉及來自HBO及節目製片人的賠償因為"這個劇完全失
控且詆毀了Jerry West,即使他做為湖人的管理層的勞苦功高。"
The letter goes on to cite the series' depiction of West's role in the
drafting of Magic Johnson, saying it implies West had "personal animus"
against Johnson and tried to "sabotage" his selection. West's lawyers said he
only pointed out Sidney Moncrief's scoring ability and that the Lakers should
consider him, while then-team owner Jack Kent Cooke had the final decision.
這封律師信繼續舉證了該劇對West角色選中魔術強森時的描述,說那段演繹暗示West對於魔
術有"私人的敵意"並嘗試要"暗算"魔術的中選。West的律師說他只指出Moncrief的得分能
力並湖人應該要考慮他,但老闆Jack Kent Cooke做出了最終抉擇。
"So instead of seeing the true Jerry West -- a brilliant GM who was the
architect of one of the great NBA dynasties -- anyone who watched the show
would be left with the false impression that West is incompetent, that he
didn't want Magic Johnson. This is a fabrication," the letter says. "Contrary
to the show, the book leaves readers with the true impression of Jerry as a
brilliant and thoughtful GM. Your extreme departure from the book shows
malice in your false portrayal."
"所以比起描繪真實的Jerry West--一名睿智並作為NBA最偉大王朝之一的建築師的GM--任
何看了該劇的觀眾會留下對於West是一名無能者的錯誤印象因為他不想要魔術強森。這是
杜撰出來的。"律師信寫道。"相對於該劇,這本書給讀者留下Jerry是一名睿智且深思熟慮
的GM的印象。你們極端的背離原書本而演出的虛假描繪完全展現出了你們的惡意。"
心得:
套句原告的名言:
"Shit Show"
更正啟事:這部劇跟湖人球團並沒有關係 是我搞錯了 非常對不起
在此特別做出聲明
--
※ 發信站: 批踢踢實業坊(ptt.cc), 來自: 123.193.63.116 (臺灣)
※ 文章網址: https://www.ptt.cc/bbs/NBA/M.1650475458.A.2CB.html
的影集本來就要顧慮到現實人物的想法與形象 造成實際損失本來就很容易被告
複雜了
... <看更多>